Adult high functioning- new

[Pinktijen]

Hi. My husband is 45 and undiagnosed. I have been with him for 25 years and have always known he is different. His behaviours are getting more extreme as he gets older. He has always told me the problem is me.... but finally he is ticking a lot of boxes for ASD. He did the online test and scored 40 out of 45....i did it and scored 3.

Our issues are really that when i speak to him with what i think is a simple question he gets very defensive and annoyed.

His behaviours: no friends. Hyperfocus's lots of different things over the years. Sound sensitive. Can't stand ticking clocks. Loves solitude and hates being social. Verbalises his thoughts.... upsets people with his blatant honesty. Does not get social queues. Does not care!!!

He us a brilliant father though and super talented musician and whatever he puts his mind to.

Where do i go to get help with how to handle him?? Also. Does he need a formal diagnosis? Or will that go against him on his records? Any brilliant counselling he can get to help him make sense of things???

Thank you.

[Hidden]

Hi more like classic Asperger's i'd say! you can have a few other things thrown in for good measure to add to the mix!

[kevinmhickson]

Hi there. Your husband completed the online test so presumably receptive to further assessment? Focus on those positive points that you refer to and start identifying clearly the issues of sensitivity for him - encourage him to help you with this. A diagnosis of Autism should not be a negative if we provide the information, the details of skills and talents and the reasonable adjustments required to address the difficult bits.

[DiZia]

Hi,

It definitely sounds like he may be on the spectrum. I would recommend asking your GP to refer your husband to the local adult Autism service. Perhaps a formal, confirmed diagnosis may offer him some comfort and confirmation, and provide your husband more insight into how his condition personally affects himself. That's my experience, at least.

Then, he may be able to connect with local Autism services. These are mainly social groups, based on my experience. But beyond that, for adults with 'high-functioning'/Asperger type autism, most support offered is centred around reasonable adjustments at work, social/support groups, and PIP.

Hope this helps, and good luck.