Is it the end? (warning, bit graphic)

[peterallison]

I know this is NOT the right place, then again, maybe it is. But having sex/making love, whatever you want to call it, is a very tiring experience, and one that has got worse over the last couple of years. Is this the "end"? I am only 58, and have a g/f who is very very understanding, she has a metal hip, so gets it, being tired easily. Its not a subject I feel comfortable discussing with my GP or Neurologist, as am "British" stiff upper lip and all that

[wibblywobbly]

hi, from the female perspective of a sex life with ataxia I totally agree that it's exhausting! I also have another complication of contracted muscles internally that can make sexual intercourse very painful. For the last few months I have been seeing a midwife and doing exercises to help this problem and also for my bladderproblem. The exercises have been mostly successful and are another load of exercises that I prob need to do forever!! However when I'm really tired or going through a bad patch then the exercises actually give me more problems! I have to really work at relaxing again after each exercise.

Sorry, I haven't really addressed your question! My husband has serious back problems and also a knee problem so he is petty understanding and often we are trying to find the right position for both of us. But my husband has a high sex drive, I'm post menopause so mine is much lower now, but if I told him this is the end I don't think he'd be so understanding!!

This is a very personal matter and we are all different, but I would advise you to lose the stiff upper lip and discuss the matter with your Dr and see who he could refer you to.

The midwife was telling me about aides for disabled people, for example a kinda seat that slides backwards and forwards. There are things and specialists out there that can help.

Good luck and well done for being brave enough to address this on this site

love

Alison x

[peterallison in reply to wibblywobbly]

And thank you for your reply Alison. As far as posting it, I do not get embarrassed, and lets face it, most of us here suffer in some way or another, and if it takes a man to broach the subject fist, then so be it.

I will have a informal chat with the GP, next time I am there (about 6 weeks time) and see what he says. I think after all the tests and things, including a endoscopy, It will be a walk in the park. All the reading I have done, as regards Ataxia in general, the "S" word has never been bought up once

Peter

[Meekster]

I too find that sex can be exhausting. It takes so much of what little I have. I actually find myself planning alot of the time. When I need to go out the next day I don’t have the energy to spare. I need to choose: sex or not go out. Luckily I have a very patient and understanding husband.

[Litty]

So the right place - Really well done for mentioning a difficult subject - I fully understand. I have to admit that bit is easier as a girl! But it is tiring. Good luck x