Time for a bit of fun again I feel 😂. Another from the terrible trio (Js706, Lysistrata and I). How many can you tick off? No cheating and pointing at yourself! Allowed to be witnessed in A&E or on a ward!
1 point for each seen (not allowed to use yourself to cover a point... must be witnessed in another patient!)
1 The naked wanderer (genitalia/underwear on full display, walking in ‘public’ space)
2 The Escape artist (manages to escape bed fully when should be bed bound)
3 The panicker (but nothing really wrong)
4 The ostrich (complete denial that there is anything wrong)
5 The swearing staff (cause things have gone so tits up they can’t stop themselves)
6 The po-po (police as patient or chaperone... double points if they’re dishy (for RD23 😉))
7 The convict (prisoner/ankle tag)
8 The imprisoned (someone whose been admitted for 1+ month)
9 The aged (95yo+)
10 The demander (loud, sweary, unrealistic, complainer )
11 The frequent flyer (obvs someone who’s well known 😉)
12 The tourist (a foreign national/British holiday maker not in ‘their’ local)
13 The plushie (has 5+ soft toys in/around bed)
14 The conundrum (even the docs can’t work out what’s wrong)
15 The forgotten (a patient who has no visitors/phone calls during your admission time, including on release)
16 The smiler (a patient who is cheerful no matter how crap things get!)
17 The Houdini (actually manages to escape the ward)
18 The other side (healthcare practitioner as a patient)
19 The horny (patient gets in the wrong persons bed)
20 The Sweeny Todd (bleeds badly on cannula removal/blood on the floor from needles)
Updates
21 The Mistake (Docs/nurses give wrong treatment/info to/about patient)
22 Pets at Home (Therapy/Assistant animal)
23 The Overflow (Patient obvs in wrong ward but theirs is full)
24 The Talker (random stranger invades your space for hours and doesn’t stop talking despite clear signals to leave you alone) (JungleChicken)
25 The “hmmm really?” (patient too breathless to sort anything out themselves until they want a cigarette) (Js706/Lysistrata)
26 The Vanished (patients name called multiple time in a&e... never appears)(junglechicken)
27 The Technophobe (patient/medic unable to work the tea machine, the WiFi, the phone, the tv, the monitors, the iv pump etc etc) (junglechicken/echoblue)
28 The Lost One (patient unfortunately passes away)
29 The attention seeker (patient deteriorates rapidly requiring full emergency team and transfer to critcare)
30 The Oopsy-Daisy (crash/code alarm accidentally hit by patient or medic)
31 The Unaware (patient asks for minor thing/an update/timeframe for review when there’s a medical emergency going on) (Js706)
32 The Klepto (steals hosp supplies) (Lysistrata)
33 The competitive Grannies (I have 6 Grandkids... really? I have 7!) (Lysistrata)
34 The Inconsiderate (large, loud families/groups of visitors overstaying visiting hours)(Lysistrata)
35 The ‘well you’re young so’ (demands you do stuff for them cause you’re ‘young and healthy’ forgetting you are also in hosp!)(Lysistrata)
36 The Story Teller (interesting life and tells it well... great entertainment!)(Lysistrata)
37 The Sprayer (uses sprays on resp ward)(Lysistrata)
38 The one Lacking Context (thinks the admission queue is the right time to shout about their poor care/disagreement with policies etc)(Lysistrata)
39 The Drunk with Friends (cause it’s all fun and games til someone gets hurt... then it’s time for fun in a&e!)(Lysistrata)
40 The Soap Star (has an amazing/amusing/unbelievable/improbable story about how they ended up as they are)(Lysistrata)
41 The Smoker (resp patient on o2 constantly leaving for a fag)(Lysistrata)
42 The fighters/boxer (either 2 patients from same physical fight, or 2 patients constantly arguing in the bay, or 1 patient threatening to fight staff/inanimate objects)(Lysistrata/junglechicken)
43 The Helper (the patient who constant tries to help out staff/basically becomes a nurse/HCA)(junglechicken)
44 The Understater (‘yeah... this is a bit not good’ as they go blue and fall unconscious)
45 The Prepared (arrives to a&e with suitcase for admission)
46 The drama queen/king (‘I’m going to throw myself out of the window’... well that’s fine cause we’re on the ground floor’)(CPDO16)
47 The Reckless Driver (Porter/family member pushing bed/trolley/chair and hits everything/everyone, then parks and blocks the corridor)(junglechicken)
48 The Superstore (you need it they have it... fruit, squash, juice, chocolate, crisps, magazines, newspapers, pads, tissues, wet wipes, pens, paper etc etc etc)
49 The Biohazard/Quarantined (bay you’re in locked due to flu/infection (which you don’t have), or neighbour moves to side room and MASSIVE cleansing goes on after and cornered off as precaution)(Lysistrata)
50 The Can’t wait (collapses in the waiting room pre-triage)(Lysistrata)
51 The Fuss Pot (patient constantly tidying up/organising) (junglechicken)
52 The Taunted (patient told discharge, preps for home, then told ‘sorry no, you need to stay because of x)
53 The Sundowning Shouter (the unfortunate dementia patient who shouts all through the night, then sleeps all day)(Lysistrata)
54 The Bad News receiver (you can tell it’s gonna be bad despite the ‘soundproof’ curtains)(Lysistrata)
55 The Psych Patient (inappropriately placed/supported psychiatric patient and you know the team can’t really cope with them)(Lysistrata)
56 The Rarity/Soon-to-be Famous (patient gets diagnosed with something odd/rare and docs talk about writing an article about them!)
57 The Free Entertainment (plays music/films/YouTube on loud... without headphones)(golden-retriever)
58 The Resident (has in essence redecorated their area during admission)(jandm)
59 The Perfect Patient (the one who gets the ‘I wish all my patients were like you’ comments from staff)(Yashimaki)
60 The Stealthy (mishears namecall and wrongly goes to doc and is seen early... to avoid arguements)(Blue-Breeze)
61 The ‘all rights no responsibilities’ (a demander who doesn’t follow instructions)
62 The Angry Waiter (passive aggressive mutterings about how long they’ve been waiting to see someone... usually gets worse when someone who arrived after them gets seen before them... ‘so what if they’re blue, I was here first!’)
63 The Slow Learner (nurse spends 30mins teaching how to use x (inhaler/spacer etc), leaves and patient still can’t work it out)
64 The Sickly Visitor (visitor so poorly the team worry they’ll have to step in and help)
65 The family event (2 members of same family admitted at same time... bonus if they are in the same ward/bay)
66 The Role Reversal (child/young adult telling an elderly patient to just be patient as OAP moans about how long it’s taking)(junglechicken)
67 The Soundproofed (patient wearing headphones 95% of the time)
68 The Social Fox (constantly on the phone to people/being rung... usually an older patient despite stereotypes)(Lysistrata)
69 The hidden issue (no matter how much you look/hear you cannot see what’s wrong with patient... typically in A&E waiting room)
70 The Refuser (patient will not try anything offered to them... drugs, machines, referral to physio etc)
71 The TMI (patient tells you allll about their bladder/bowel/gynae problem... unasked and unwanted by you 😅)
72 the angry ranter (usually elderly and not quite with it, random loud and furious rant unrelated to the situation and probably not aimed at anyone) (Lysistrata)
Count them and post it!
Anyone completes the list and they get to cry BINGO! Who will get there first?!
If you have more to add please let me know and will add them to the master list!
...they put a suspected Ebola exposure in because he didn't seem ill but there was a cubicle free with an actual door.)
pleurisy recovery tips please 
