Hello everyone

Hi everyone

How are you all? Once again I am so sorry for the very long wait for me to comment or even post. We're do I begin?

Firstly I have been told I am always selfish as I always seem to think about myself before others and never never ask how anyone else is first? This has made me paranoid now to talk to anyone. Or should I also say I am now so worried it has made me withdraw fro daily life pathetic aren't I .

So before I begin how are you all and what posts have a I missed in the last few weeks.?

I have been to the well being clinic for depression and having CBT. I have also had to contact the Samaritans nearly everyday as I felt so worthless and a real burden to my family and society. I haven't thought about ending it all but have had daily thoughts about how can I do it and what's the best method. This shows I am gutless and can only be selfish considering to spoil my family's life and my devoted husband.

My own children who are aged 36.35 both my sons have children and partners. My youngest son if very caring but gets very short tempered with me often which makes me very anxious, I have now told him and he said he will try harder and does not mean to be like it but he is so used to me being so active and quick to do things it makes him is way.

My other son said I don't do enough to help myself at all and the huge weight gain I have had is my own fault and he has no sympathy for me. This upset me as I already feel bad about myself with out him reminding me how fat and awful I look. He does not come very often to to see me and when he does he panics with me holding the baby because I have this right side paralysis.

My husband can't fault him he is wonderful but has now asked for extra support with the morning showers and he is tired. This is okay but means I have to get up at 7 everyday and the night before have my clothes ready and make sure we don't wake him which is hard we have to very young excitable dogs which bark when people come.

I love my dogs so much but can't stand the noise of the barking and the constant getting up and down to let them out. I have felt really bad to say lately as I feel they are to much for me. But they are our babies and I wouldn't part with them but would love a rest for a week from them.

I have been to have a new splint fitted to try and help me walk a little better with my right leg, but it just drags along behind me despite everyone telling me it will help in the end? My rut hand has a splint to but this has not showed any improvement in the last 7 months I was told at the clinic today.

I really don't feel sorry for myself and don't want anyone in the group to feel I a, asking for sympathy because I know we all have so much to deal with. But having fibromaglia and CFS we all know having anything else along side this is not easy

thank you to anyone that might have taken the time to read such a long post it is the only place I really feel I can be honest about my feeling and no won't be judged.

Love to you all Dianne

13 Replies

  • Hi there!

    The purpose of this kind of forum is to get support so you won't be seen as selfish for asking about your own problems, just ask!

    Feeling so low can be a terrible strain, and as someone who has worked in the field of mental health down the years I know that probably the lesat effective treatment known to humankind is 'pull yourself together'.

    It seems though that you do need some really strong & focused suppot, and CBT is a good start. The Samaritans are really just a listening service more than a supportive one, so it might be that the best port of call for you is to look locally for a good support group. Most areas have something and they will help you to feel more positive about yourself, which in turn is a cornerstone of rebuilding good physical health.

    I'm not sure where in the country you live, but a quick online search will throw something up I'm sure.

    Good luck and stay strong :)

  • Thank you for replying I am so pleased people don't think I am a shallow person. I have tried finding. A local group but can't the fibro group is now closed. I live in Wellingborough Northamptonshire.

  • Sorry to hear about your problems dianne I can identify with 90% of what you are going through and I have learned that sometimes you have to be selfish for yourself so that you can achieve what is good for you. Others will come round in time it is a slow process but it will be worth it when they begin to understand what you are going through and will give you their support. Although in my case I had to get them to stop as they were smothering me with care. At present they seem to be excepting that I don't need them all the time but when I am at my lowest. It has taken a while for them to accept that but now we have a mtual understanding that if I need them I will let them know. I hope that happens for you to

  • Thank you so much for taking the time to reply xxxx

  • Your welcome I've been there and know what your going through

  • hi there waterbottle many i say a big welcome back, and can i just say this, there is an old saying look after number one first, when that's done then you can move on to other, how can you help anybody if your not 100% yourself, and whoever has said that your selfish want's to grow up, this site is for people with illness, not a forum for me first stuff everybody else, we are all here to help those that are weaker than others may be, and has friends if anybody doesn't show kindness to follow friends on here then they should be kick of. i been very poorly since i was rush into hospital any many on here that are suffering have shown not only kindness but been lovely people and been by my side from day one. and help to pick me up, so stuff what has been said its nice to have you back on here take care Alan

  • Sending soft gentle Hugs.

  • Hi Water bottle sorry to hear you are having such a tough time. It is a well known fact that when life is really tough we comfort ourselves. So please do not worry about your weight gain, as when you start to be strong again you will find you will not need the crutch of comfort eating.

    You have got good advice from the rest of the group, so all I will add is be kind to yourself,,you will get there sending supportive hugs ♥♥♥

  • Yes I will take on all your ideas and thank you for replying this group is so supportive.

    How are you feeling today ?


  • Hi. I live in Northampton and not far from Wellingborough. I found the Wellbeing Service is a good place to start and details can be obtained from your local GP surgery. Your own surgery should have a counsellor and if you speak to your doctor he can add your name to the waiting list. Also your local library is a great place as well and offer quite a lot of services, self help books to read and great support. There is a lot of help out there but you have to search for it and I know it is hard but I think a lot of us on this forum have been there - I know I have!

  • Hi, thank you for that info I am attending the well being clinic have been for the last few weeks it is helping a little. Would you like to meet up sometime would be nice to have a new friend who also understands how we feel and maybe share a coffee and do something out of the house. My husband can drive me over to meet you but he would have to bring me in the chair if we are going to be outside the cafe etc. Or your welcome to come to me and meet my two dogs and have a coffee here.

    Dianne xxxx

  • What a wonderful group this is. I woke up this morning feel low and came on this forum and started to see we are all the same and we must try to help ourselves more which I am going to try harder from today xxxxx

  • Good for you Water bottle, we all have our really tough times, I once said to my doctor that I was rubbish he said no I was special, so just remember us puffers are special ♥♥♥

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