Does asthma get in the way of relationships?

I've been with my fiancé for 2 years now and i've had asthma since before I knew him. We were fine at the beginning, but recently, he is becoming more resistant and saying that my asthma always seems to be a problem because I get a bit wheezy in smokey places so apparently it's always a problem when we go to the pub. But if I take my preventor inhalor about half an hour before we go out, it tends to stop this from happening at all, which I have done recently, and he is still saying that it affects our relationship. Has anyone else ever experienced anything like this?

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  • Tissy, sorry to hear you're having problems.

    Relationships and asthma are always tricky ground. I am very lucky in the fact that my bf although he does get fed up with it at times is fantastic with my asthma. Asthma is a pain in the a*** and i like everyone else wish i didn't have it. I can't actually go to smoky places at all anymore. 2 things i wanted to say. 1 is that the smoking ban is only 3 months away HURRAY! 2 is that you're fiance if he cares about you enough will not have a problem with it underneath. Men moan but if he loves you he will stick with you through thick and thin.

    One other thing to say if taking your reliever before you go helps do it everytime if it prevents it.

    Keep smiling.

  • poor you

    my husband used to be like this and just before we got married I was very hurt and confused when he told me he wasn't sure he could cope with my asthma. It seemed like such a slap in the face. However, he was (is!) a very healthy person from a very healthy family and just had no experience of asthma or any other chronic health problem. He used to wake me at night to tell me I was wheezing and get me to use my inhaler! It was quite a long time before he could deal with my wheeziness, he was always worrying that I was on the verge of an attack. So maybe it's just anxiety on your fiance's part? You're used to your asthma, but try to see it from his point of view

    Perhaps you could print out some of the leaflets on the site and go through them with him, show him your protocol and reassure him you are in control of your asthma and, if you have an attack, you know what to do and nothing terrible will happen to you. With my husband, it was partly anxiety that he would have to take over and deal with an attack, which he didn't feel equal to! But we've been happily married 35 years now so these problems can be resolved

  • sorry to hear about your problems with your boyfriend :(. it took mike a long time to adjust to the idea, but it helped him get around it by telling him what it actually is like, plus we find less smokey places to hang out.

    just wait till july, the smoking ban will be welcomed by asthmatics everywhere i should think

  • From the opposite side of the fence (I'm ""healthy"" but my wife has asthma and eczema), I would very much like to slap anyone who accuses asthma (or any other medical condition, for that matter) of ""affecting a relationship"". Like you have a choice in the matter!

    I do hope you're not being persuaded to go to places that are overly smoky just to appease your other half, with less regard for your own health than you would normally take...?

    The smoking ban will be a joy for all non-smokers, regardless of whether they have a medical condition. I can't wait for July.

    Since my wife's asthma worsened she has been less inclined to go with me to any place that is likely to be smoky (I'm a musician and thus regularly frequent clubs with a lovely healthy haze...), and rightly so. I would never dream of dragging her along to those places, because I care about her health and well-being.

  • SMOKING BAN

    I AM FORTUNATE ENOUGH TO BE LIVING IN SCOTLAND WHERE THE BAN IS ALREADY ENFORCED. BEFORE THE BAN I FOUND IT DIFFICULT TO SPEND A NIGHT OUT WITH MY PARTNER OR MY FRIENDS WITHOUT GETTING WHEEZY AND HAVING TO CONTINUALLY USE MY RELIVER AND GO OUTSIDE FOR AIR. THE BAN MAKES A HUGE DIFFERENCE TO GOING TO PLACES AS NOW THERE IS NO NEED TO WORRY ABOUT BEING A NUISANCE I FEEL. HOPE YOU ALL FEEL THE SAME WHEN THE BAN COMES INTO FORCE IN ENGLAND.

    HUGS TO ALL AND HOPE ALL R WELL. :) X

  • Ow, my ""ears""...

  • LOL, Cathbear!

    Lisamarie, either let go of the shift key or turn caps lock off, thanks muchly!

    ;)

  • sorry

  • just thought i would let you all know that i spoke to my fiancé and he told me the only reason that he was like that is because he didnt know how to deal with it if i had an attack and that the thought scared him! i have since taken him with me to my appointment and given him some information and explained to him everything that he needs to know. thanks for your support x

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