I must confess this before my guilt kills me. I am an ex-smoker now for almost 15 years now. I smoked when I was pregnant with my 19 year old son and smoked until he was 4-1/2. I honestly cannot believe that I did that to him. But at the time I didnâ€™t really think too much about it. Everyone smoked! I finally got tired of lying to my sonâ€™s doctor about smoking and decided to quit. (only after quitting did I realize that everyone can smell smoke on you BUT you). I quit for a year when I got pregnant with my 17 year old daughter (mainly because of morning sickness) but soon started after she was born. Luckily she does not have asthma, only allergies. When she was 2 and my oldest son was 4-1/2 I just thought this is crazy, I am smoking a cigarette while my asthmatic son is sitting with a nebulizer strapped to his face. Nobody believed that I could quit. But I did (almost without any problems, except for those that had to live with me while I suffered withdrawal).I have never regretted for one moment my decision to quit. But every time I see my older son sick I get this nagging feeling that I am to blame. My younger son, aged 9, also has asthma, although not as severe, and I have never smoked around him and been careful to keep him away from smoke, but I still feel guilty that maybe my years of smoking has caused some of his problems while I was pregnant with him even though I didnâ€™t smoke anymore.
There, I said it. I smoked around my asthmatic son. While it doesnâ€™t make the situation any better, it does relieve a bit of the guilt to say it.
Thanks for listening to my ramblings!