Need some advice !

Hi All,

I have a dilemma and not sure how to tackle it !

Emily is almost 13 and has her own room. She is highly allergic to house dust mite so we need to keep her room as clean as we can. However......she has now got to the age where I am nagging her daily about her room. It isn't terrible yet but, I have noticed that things are starting to slide. I have 2 teenage boys so, know what to expect !

With them I did the 'if you dont keep it tidy it will stay like it' thing and even shut the door on their rooms in an attempt to make them more independent. Have you seen the washing powder advert with the mum in a gas mask ? That was my boys !

What do I do with Em ? She is totally aware of her asthma and what triggers her attacks....we have talked at length. I can't leave her room like I did with her brother's but equally I don't want to 'spoil' her and tidy it daily in a state of panic. Would be a rubbish mum if her dusty bedroom set her off though.

Any ideas would be gratefully received from other mum's or maybe another teenager whose mum has been through the same thing.

Best Wishes

Cathy xxxx

13 Replies

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  • Hi ... Being there with my son.

    What I did was draw up a kind of contract with my son. He would have to do x , y and z on a daily and/or weekly basis and I would not invade His Privacy and Space.

    We drew up a chart together which was ticked / crossed as tasks were done. I Kept to my side of the bargain as did he.

    Your daughter will... if you go on these lines want to negotiate with you certain other things that she may want or need. (compromising seemed to work for us) and before we knew it even my husband was joining in! (additional bonus!))

    I found I did not have to ""nag"" as my son felt treated like an adult (very important to a teen!) and even now... as an 23 year old remembers with fondness the fact that MUM never nagged and always respected his needs and privacy !.. But saying all that... he always knew that ""I, MUM"" had the final say!

    I for one could not have asked for a better result than having him healthy and TIDY even up to now !

    Hope this helps... I am positive you will get lots more probably better advice.. but anyway... that is mine!

    Good luck

    Hugs from the Orkney Isles

    Susy

    xx

  • Its not that different to living in a house with 5 teens and having a huge HDM problem, we are gradually replacing all the floors as carpets, soft furnishings, cuddly toys, bedding, mattresses etc are the worst culprits if she has soft toys them bung them into a poly bag and bung in deep freeze for 48 hours. It is not the dust that is the problem it is -forgive me here- the poo of the HDM.

    Everyone has had a go a my lot to damp dust/hoover etc on numerous occasions they got a right ear wigging from my sister recently, despite them all having visited me when I am very poorly they are teenagers and they just don't get it. we are now doing a once a week they must dust and hoover their rooms or I pull the plug on their Internet connection. No ifs no buts they have to do it or ""she who controls the server"" blocks them.

    I do feel sorry for them if they want to grow new fungus in unwashed coffee cups, be able to open up the trenches in the dust on their window sills then they should be able to, the reality is that it is not good for me and they know that. So I don't nag I don't shout I just remind them on a Thursday that Friday is dust and hoover day and if not they can look forward to a weekend of no connection (cos I refuse to re-connect it until monday morning even if they do the dust bust 1st Saturday morning) we are gradually getting there. It maybe you need a stick with which to beat them in my kids case the Internet connection, could be pocket money or whatever. Just make the rule clear, fair, remind them when the deadline is coming and stick to any penalty you impose.

  • I hope to God my mum does not end up on here, or any of the KA member's mums...

  • Thank you so much !!

    If nothing else you have made me feel normal. Bex and Susy... you are superstars, will take both your advice on board and see what works with Em. Seeing these posts might even do the trick !!

    Having a clean home is great but a healthy one is better.

    Thanks again

    Cathy xxx

  • Oh nooo my mum reads the posts here...if i have no internet over the weekend Bex, I'm blaming you!

  • :)

    sorry to all you untidy people out there, but Mum always knows best :)

    Bex

  • *hides*

  • well from me's mum..... all i can say is i've given up trying to shout & scream ""Tidy your room"" but at moment Emma's tidying it cos she's got visitors staying in a few weeks , so bribery might work or get a spray water bottle and tell her you spraying water around to stop the dust flying around and oh sorry was that your best top etc that just got damp .lol

  • Ally, I think U may mean 11 days. ;)

    *Isn't counting*

  • OH mother you are soooooo embarrasing *cringes*

    But haha im not wearing my best top im still in my pjamas so that plans gonna fail

    :-P

  • *STILL* in pyjamas...? Does that mean you've been wearing them all day? hehe

  • Well yes and no...now im in clean pyjamas cos i had a bath...but yeah before that i was in pyjamas...

  • Hehe! I love pyjama days... Doesn't happen very often now though :(

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