My Son can't held the fact that I'm ill, he struggles every time he comes to see me....
How do you cope with upset children and damaged family relationships through years of illness and eventually death at such a young age?
I'm only 36 at the moment and my Son is 15, he's embarrassed of my illness and Scooter and says that I'm boring and don't do nothing but go online and see friends....?
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I am so sorry to hear what you are going through.
Your son is only 15, are you sure that he is embarrassed and not scared and angry? You know what teens are like, they find it hard to express themselves and boys especially find it difficult to deal with emotions (I have two). Have you asked him what he would like you to do? Perhaps going to the cinema together or something else that is not too taxing might be an idea.
I don't know what illness you have got but I wish you luck for the future. Auntymary xx
Yes we did the cinema when he was here, we drove down to Town on my Mobility Scooter and watched a film, I thought it went really well but it was all thrown in my face when he got on his coach home. I've asked him what I can do to help change the situation and what is wrong... I asked for it all and it was hard to take on the chin as I'm stuck for an acceptable resolution atm. He doesn't like seeing me ill and doesn't like me in wheelchair or scooter, it took me a long time before I got into one and have accepted it now but he only sees me in the holidays mostly, not enough time to get use to it. He says he don't think about it when he's not around me so that he should just stay away from now on. Very heartbreaking and an angry young man inside.
I don't no what's going to happen....
Hi Heavo. It sounds like your son is scared he is going to lose you and he cant deal with the emotions this brings up for him. To his (teenage) mind hes probably thinking that if he doesnt get too close to you he wont get hurt. So he is doing the only thing he can think which is to stay away. I really hope he doesnt but I dont think It will last for long. He obviously loves you and I think when he sorts his head out he will be back. Just keep the options open with him.
I agree with gillyj I think the teens are very difficult for most kids. Parents arent 'cool' and they are often embarrassed by them. All parents are boring for them. But they usually grow out of it. And thats without a parent being in a wheelchair! Hes worried about what people will think.
Or how about leaving some reading material around him? The BLF information pack would do fine. He might even pick it up and read it!
Hope this helps Heavo. Let us know what happens. All the best Bev xxx
Ah, this is so sad for you. My son became so unloving after us being so close and that wasn't because of any illness at the time - he hated me guessing what the problem was and proceeded to justify himself which made both of us feel worse - I still don't know what went wrong - then as suddenly as it went wrong, it all went right ....that was after I had stopped trying to make it right . and when I just felt non-conditional love expecting nothing from him. I have heard of other mother/son relationships like this too .... maybe they need a right of passage like the walkabout in Oz provides for 14/15 year olds. At the end of the day, it does not matter a jot why it has come to this - what matters is that your relationship heals. Perhaps let him know you just love him and are happy to see him whenever he has time to visit, and ask him what he would like to do when with you .... kids especially like the feeling of being in choice as much as possible ...and with your illness he must feel without choice in what is important to him and powerless too - so anger and blame will be getting in the way of his love and empathy...maybe let him know the power he really always has is to make you smile - and that helps you feel better 
No one can guarantee tomorrow and that includes healthy people - at least with us, our loved ones have a chance for quality time together. I remember someone whose husband died suddenly, with no warning, and she was happy that she had kissed him as he had left for work that morning. Hope you and your son have some happy times again.
Thanks Julie, have people here now can't be rude... see you on here again soon)
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