Feeling sad.

[cathylauren]

I have severe copd and I am finding it hard to stop feeling so sad about everything.I know I need to get on and start managing my condition . Turned down for esa since April so no financial help I have had to go back on job seekers with no hope of getting a job . I think my family find it hard to understand whats happening and I only talk the basics with my daughter as I know it upsets her. I have a lot of rib pain which also makes me feel worse so need to get that sorted. I know I need to perk up but dont know where to start , how did you all manage at the start when you found out you had copd . Cathy x

[Hidden]

Cathy, first, I would advise that you appeal the ESA decision. Collect evidence from your GP, consultant, etc and let them really know that you are unable to work. Secondly, feeling down is something we all go through but you need to also be aware that depression can come sneaking in and this is best managed by your medical team.

The beginning can be the worst time; all of the articles I read were depressing as they were medical texts which concentrated on the negatives (or so it seems now). The good things are there too of course, but can be difficult to see at first. You are still here. You have a diagnosis so can now be given the correct treatment. You have found this site and can get support. You can also ring the BLF helpline. Things will brighten up - I promise. Good luck.

[Hidden]

Hi Cathy, auntmary is right the beginning is the worst time, speak to your nurse about getting in to Pulmonary Rehab, where you can meet lots of people in a similar situation and also do some excercises and get lots of information on this condition. Also find out if you have a local Breathe Easy group this is an excellent way to gain information. Most of all tell the doctor or nurse how you are feeling because they can't help if they don't know.

take care

*polly

[Mmike110]

Hi Cathy, definatly come off jobseekers and either appeal or do a new claim for ESA. Infact I don't think I can add anything else that's not been said already. I'm new here but itsa great bunch of people, very helpful and supportive. If we can all help we will.

Keep looking forward and keep moving and motivated, I write a list at the end of the day of all te things I'd like to achieve the next....even if I get half that list done its a good thing. The worse thing is to sit watching tv feeling sorry for yourself ( not that I'm saying you are! ) Positive thoughts are really helpful as are hypnotherapy CD's from either the library for free or very cheap on eBay. They really help.

I wish you all the very best, Mike x

[valm]

Hopefully writing it down here helps , check out the advice Val

[Hidden]

What Stitch has said is so true Cathy, we mostly all go through that period when first diagnosed and if you have recently stopped smoking, things will be doubly difficult, it won't hurt to check with your doctor to help you cope through this period, this difficult period does pass but it takes time. Make sure you are eating good nutritional food, drink plenty of water to help your body release toxins accumulated from smoking if you have recently stopped and maybe put yourself on a good multi vit supplement for the time being.

Lots of good tips from everyone else here also, the PR the Breathe Easy Group and if you are still within the time frame do appeal against the ESA decision. The BLF helpline is also a very valuable resource, so don't hesitate to contact them, open normal working week days 10am to 6pm a freephone number 03000 030 555.

Chin up things will get better, its just that in the early days of diagnosis it is very difficult but that time will pass. Remember to come back here any time day or night.

Take good care

Zoee

[dinnyrayner]

Hi Cathy , You have already had some good advise from other members that i would agree with , the only thing i would add is that it seems you have had a lot of changes in your life , giving up smoking , having COPD and are there any other changes ? did you have to pack up work too ? .Big changes in our lives can throw us off balance (it has happened to me a few times ) and make us feel very wobbly and sad . The cognitive therapy is great , it helps you define the problem areas , but there also needs to be a solution or way round it too xx.I would say talking to someone would help a great deal , also writing down how you feel and what makes you sad , if possible xx. I would definately appeal the ESA decision , get letters from your doc and go to Citizens Advice for help filling the form in properly , put down what you are like at your worst not the days you are ok as there are probably fewer of them , keep in touch Cathy , you are far from being alone xxxx Dinny xxxx

[Carol_ALUK Partner British Lung Foundation]

Hi Cathy

If we can help in any way here at the helpline, please give us a call, I can advise you on ESA claims, we also have a support team who can offer emotional support,

Kind regards

Carol

[Hidden]

we can't do this on our own ... need this blog, and to be as honest as we can with loved ones - they are concerned anyway. and speak to everyone - medics, BLF, her on the blog too, Breatheeasy group, and maybe do some meditation/ yoga/ acupuncture - all very calming and relieve sadness and low spirits. Bananas give you happy chemicals, and maybe another of your favourites too - chocolate, pamper yourself every day with something that gives you pleasure - TV programme, funny book, whatever makes you smile not frown. Smiling fools your brain into thinking you are happy and it helps health too. Breathing more slowly can help as well - calming. What music makes you feel better .. we have to get creative at times like this to help ourselves feel better ... and of course some medication can help get you through this time too. Take care of you and share your worries and concerns. x Julie

[cathylauren in reply to Hidden]

Thank you everybody your comments are so appreciated It's all new to me and very frightening . I will fight on and get things sorted , so nice to have the support of people in the same position as myself you all sound so positive it gives me some sort of hope . Cathy x x

[Hidden in reply to cathylauren]

you really will feel brighter soon .... we all been there x

[tanyamarie]

Hello, the best advice I can give is to please try and talk to your family about how you are feeling. You need all the support you can get and your family should be there for you but trouble is we don't always know how bad things are unless you tell us. I help look after my dad and from a relative point, I can say how hard it is wanting to help but not knowing how too.

Please please talk to your family, especially your daughter. I am sure she would be more upset knowing how you are feeling and keeping it private than confiding in her. Trust her. Think if roles were reversed..........

Take care x