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Please, please help me.....Pulmonary Hypertension

puddy68 profile image
61 Replies

Hi Everyone. I think I may have posted something similar recently, but my anxiety is the worst it's ever been. I'm so sorry to post again. And I feel so guilty because I realise so many of you are much worse off than me, yet have such a positive mindset. I have PH, I still work full time as a teacher...my only symptoms are shortness of breath when I have to climb hills or stairs. Yet when I read that this is a progressive disease and will get worse, my anxiety becomes so overwhelming that I'm shaking and crying. I don't want to die and leave my family. How I'm going to get to work tomorrow and get up in front of 25 students and teach is just beyond me. And then I feel so guilty again because I know I am so fortunate to have my job. I also have cirrhosis of the liver but I am dealing with that, because even though there is no cure, it can be managed and you can have a relatively normal lifespan with a healthy lifestyle and medication if needed. I'm so anxious I'm actually begging.........can you live a relatively normal lifespan with Pulmonary Hypertension, with a healthy lifestyle and the necessary medication? I'm so. so sorry to post this again, but I don't know what else to do. Thank you so much.

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61 Replies
Patk1 profile image
Patk1

Hi there.so sorry to hear yr anxiety is so bad.i don't know much about PH but I've many other lung & airway probs,which I manage.your obviously very pragmatic && brave to live with liver cirrhosis and have such a positive attitude.im sure U will adopt that with yr PH.Personally,I see a new diagnosis as a positive because u can learn about it,be treated with correct meds & that can lessen symptoms, u can make lifestyle changes that can help.

Pls get help with Yr anxiety.if necessary,take a sick break frm work.on weekdays there's an ALUK helpline,I'm sure they can help you

0300 222 5800

puddy68 profile image
puddy68 in reply toPatk1

Thank you so much, Patk1. I am in the process of getting help with my anxiety....I've seen my GP re medication and counselling. Thank you so much once again.

Patk1 profile image
Patk1 in reply topuddy68

That's good. Do ring the helpline tomorrow.i believe the nurses are excellent&very well informed .

Ru familiar with breathing techniques to help ease anxiety? Take a look at " controlled breathing - pursed lips" on aluk website.its gd in helping to ease anxiety and also to use whn yr struggling,it'll help with hills,stairs walking.x

puddy68 profile image
puddy68 in reply toPatk1

Thank you again, Patk1 - I will definitely look into the breathing techniques. God Bless.

Alberta56 profile image
Alberta56

I don't know much about PH (correction- anything), but so many people on this site with various illnesses have been worried sick by reading somewhere, usually on Dr. Google, that they are doomed to increasing debility and an early grave. Pulmonary illnesses cause gradual deterioration, how gradual depending on a lot of factors including the lifestyle of the person with the illness. Eat healthily, exercise as much as possible and learn about breathing techniques. Pat has given you some very good advice.

If you're still teaching, that's good. Shows you're still pretty fit. I was amazed to find you only have 25 kids in a class. I'm an ex-teacher and my classes tended to creep up to 32. I should have emigrated long ago.

Best wishes, Chris

puddy68 profile image
puddy68 in reply toAlberta56

Thank you so much, Alberta. Thank you for your [and Pat's!] sound advice. And 32 students in a class....Oh. My. Gosh. I take my hat off to you. [!]

Alberta56 profile image
Alberta56 in reply topuddy68

I shouldn't take too much notice of life expectancy. People on this site have lived well beyond theirs. And new drugs are coming on the market all the time. The ELF, European Lung Foundation, has some sensible things to say about PH. ( One of the specialists on a recent web event was Australian- they're not just for Europe.) xxx

puddy68 profile image
puddy68 in reply toAlberta56

Thank you again, Alberta56. Thank you so much for your positive advice and feedback, it means the world to me.

helenlw7 profile image
helenlw7 in reply toAlberta56

I had 32 in my classes too!

Alberta56 profile image
Alberta56 in reply tohelenlw7

Weren't we brilliant.😂😂😂🤪🤪

helenlw7 profile image
helenlw7 in reply toAlberta56

😀😀😀😀😀😀

peege profile image
peege

Hi there, great replies from Pat and Chris. I cant add anything to PH discussion either so I'm sorry about that.I'm not sure if you can access the helpline number from outside UK but do try (09.15 to 17.00 British Summertime) however, they have a WhatsApp number too, you can copy and paste your above post to that 00479999 377 775 number which of course is free. They also have a counseller - or at least they used to. If you delve into the 'Help' above hopefully you will all the AsthmalungUK archives on other lung diseases, it's so informative. This would be my suggestion, learn as much as you can about PH.

Unfortunately there's a lot of doom and gloom on Google other other countries have health insurance systems therefore they're trying to get you into their medical claws (in my opinion...my nephew is a financial director of a private hospital in America) so stick to Australian websites or do have a look at UK only websites .

I trust our NHS website (National Health Service), there's so much unbiased information sensible and straightforward inf on it.

Let me know if you cannot access NHS website and I'll find some info and copy it to you.

Thinking of you

Oh and I second the above advice on breathing techniques. I use Pursed Lip Breathing walking up inclines/exercising and Deep Diaphragm Breathing for calming, stressed, lower pulse rate and also to raise oxygen levels if they drop a bit.

You might ask the gp to check your adrenals &/or cortisol levels, might explain the sky high anxiety 🤔

puddy68 profile image
puddy68 in reply topeege

Thank you so much, Peege. And thank you for your offer to help me find some information, because I'm really struggling with that at the moment, as I'm trying to avoid Google. Thnak you for your kindness.....I really appreciate it.

peege profile image
peege in reply topuddy68

Try this NHS link to Pulmonary Hypertension , hopefully you can access it, if not I'll copy and send it to you

nhs.uk/conditions/pulmonary...

puddy68 profile image
puddy68 in reply topeege

Thanks so much once again, Peege.

Donald_1931 profile image
Donald_1931

I can't understand why you are getting yourself in such a state when you have written "I also have cirrhosis of the liver but I am dealing with that, because even though there is no cure, it can be managed and you can have a relatively normal lifespan with a healthy lifestyle and medication if needed". Surely that applies to your breathing difficulties also? I was around your age, if not younger, when I started having trouble and here I am 92, having collected a number of other ailments gasping along the way. You are lucky enough to have a marvelous job shaping young lives to keep your mind fully occupied. So just take the meds do the exercises and enjoy your life. simple. Please.

puddy68 profile image
puddy68 in reply toDonald_1931

Thank you for your reply, Donald_1931. What you have said makes a lot of sense. Sometimes when I'm in the grips of my anxiety disorder it can be hard to see the forest for the trees. Thank you for for your common sense - I really needed to hear it. God Bless.

Will57 profile image
Will57

to be brutally honest with your history of drinking and extreme anxiety I don't think you should be still teaching. You are on here with the same questions every day. I'm sure there will be many people disagreedisagreeing with my thoughr

Alberta56 profile image
Alberta56 in reply toWill57

If the lady has overcome one big problem, she should be able to get over this one. If every teacher who has that 'whatever am I going to teach class X tomorrow' feeling should not be teaching, there would not be many of us left.😂😂😂

puddy68 profile image
puddy68 in reply toAlberta56

Thank you so much for your understanding and support, Alberta56. I really need support like yours right now, not criticism of my repetitive questions which are a major symptom of my anxiety disorder. God Bless You.

Donald_1931 profile image
Donald_1931 in reply toWill57

I can’t agree with that, but I do think she should pay more attention to her students welfare and less worrying about her own. The progression that she is worrying about can be almost stopped by following the advice freely available.

puddy68 profile image
puddy68 in reply toDonald_1931

Dear Donald_1931. I have been teaching for over 30 years and my students' welfare has always remained my number one priority. The fact that I get to school every day, despite my crippling anxiety, and not just teach, but have a role that requires much pastoral care is testament to my love of teaching, and the welfare of my students. Please think before posting comments to people you don't know, as your comment to me was quite hurtful.

Alberta56 profile image
Alberta56 in reply topuddy68

Donald could not mean to be hurtful. He's a lovely man. Perhaps only teachers can know that sinking 'Monday morning' feeling. (And on Tuesday- Friday sometimes. )

puddy68 profile image
puddy68 in reply toAlberta56

Thanks, Alberta56. I did feel hurt, but I'm even more sorry that I hurt Don. I feel terrible.

Donald_1931 profile image
Donald_1931 in reply topuddy68

I was merely disagreeing with Will57 who thought you should not still be teaching because of your drink and anxiety problems. As such my message was addressed to him not you. Leaving your job is the very last thing to consider. I might add that I found your response very hurtful. As a ninety two year own living on his own, practically housebound with multiple ailments and few friends. It’s not nice being told that I should think more before I post when thinking is about the only pleasure I have left to me. Don & Smudge (sobbing quietly together). xx

Patk1 profile image
Patk1 in reply toDonald_1931

Ru OK Don x

Donald_1931 profile image
Donald_1931 in reply toPatk1

👍😘

Patk1 profile image
Patk1 in reply toDonald_1931

😘xxx

Alberta56 profile image
Alberta56 in reply toDonald_1931

Oh dear. 😭😭😭😿😿😿Please don't be sad Don. Disagreements on this site are worrying. We are normally an oasis of kindness and tolerance in a naughty world. You are one of our rocks, if that's the right word. 🤞🏼🤞🏼🤞🏼 xxx

puddy68 profile image
puddy68 in reply toDonald_1931

Dear Donald. I'm so sorry if I hurt you. That was not my intention, I was simply stating how I felt. My sincere apologies again. God bless.

Donald_1931 profile image
Donald_1931 in reply topuddy68

I wasn’t really upset, that was just an example of my weird sense of humour. You seem to take everything so seriously it makes me wonder whether that isn’t the root of your problem. To me the thoughts of me and my cat sobbing together over such a minor thing was funny. The members of this group have over the years believed that laughter is the best medicine to help them deal with their progressive disease. As we oldies are dropping off the perch one by one perhaps the group is changing in it’s thoughts and is becoming more technical.

puddy68 profile image
puddy68 in reply toWill57

Thank you for kind and thoughtful response. It has really made my day.

JHutton1994 profile image
JHutton1994 in reply toWill57

'there will be many people disagreedisagreeing with my thoughts' yes, because we're not qualified to make that assessment based on a few posts on an online forum. Getting diagnosed with things that have life expectancies attached is frightening. Might try having some compassion in future.

puddy68 profile image
puddy68 in reply toJHutton1994

Thank you so much, JHutton. I'm trying my hardest, I'm at school today doing my very best, and I log on to this forum and read Will57's post. I don't drink anymore, and I'm trying to get my anxiety under control, under medical supervision. I read Will57's post when I got to school, went to the toilet and had a good cry, then dusted myself down and went to lesson one to teach. Thank you so much, JHutton, for your supportive words. Just wanted to let you know they're getting me through the day today. God Bless You.

Swizzy profile image
Swizzy in reply topuddy68

You are very brave to carry on as you are despite your crippling anxiety. I do think that it would be a good thing to get more information about living with PH (because this is what we all do with these conditions) from an expert. Hopefully this could put this into perspective for you and help to reduce the anxiety associated with it. Although you are coping with a lot I am not sure that giving up work would help your anxiety because it is the regular routines and the people around us that keep us going. I do know a bit about anxiety because I struggle endlessly with it and have ptsd as a result of a cardiac surgeon who nearly killed me two years ago and whose actions have resulted in a deep decline in my health. Nobody who hasn’t been there can understand how dreadful it is. X

puddy68 profile image
puddy68 in reply toSwizzy

Oh Swizzy, I am so sorry to hear of your story. What a terrible thing to happen to you. I'm so sorry for the decline in your health and your resulting anxiety. I totally agree that giving up work would not be at all good for me, as I need to keep my mind busy. I also need to find out more information about PH as you suggested, as this will definitely ease my anxiety - I am just being very careful about the sites I look at. My prayers for you and your health. God Bless.

Will57 profile image
Will57 in reply toJHutton1994

Compassion.

Compassion

You don't have to be a psychologist to realise this person needs professional help. She is finding her comfort in people saying how much they feel sorry and and endless sympathy comments. She urgently needs to seek professional help for her mental health and people should help in telling her that. One month ago i lost a very dear friend who had these issues and wouldn't seek professional support and now leaves behind nearest and dearest

puddy68 profile image
puddy68 in reply toWill57

Dear Will57. I am the very first person to realize that I need help with my anxiety - thank you for pointing this out. However, I reach out to this forum, not for endless sympathy, but for help and advice from people who have been through the same, or similar experiences. I find this very helpful as I don't dare go near Google.

I'm so sorry that you recently lost your friend.....my prayers go out to you and your friend's family and friends. God Bless.

ElsaC profile image
ElsaC

HiSorry to hear about your anxiety around your health problems. I have COPD and asthma which can make me anxious. I've found mindfulness based stress reduction (MBSR) very helpful in managing my outlook when I realised that worry and stress was making everything worse. I did my class online. Hope this helps.

puddy68 profile image
puddy68 in reply toElsaC

Hi ElsaC - thank you so much for your reply. I'm so sorry to hear about your conditions, and your anxiety. I will look into MBSR - it sounds very helpful. Thank you again so much.

Will57 profile image
Will57

no where does it state that you gave up drinking all you have said is you tried but when anxiety took over you reached for the cigarettes and wine. In your numerous posts on the same subject I responded telling you that I also had PH and the proceedure I had ( cardio catherizatio) to diagnose it and why it was performed and also regretfully know that there is no cure for silent and very grave illness. Also apart from my very high risk PH I also suffer from severe COPD/AF/HBP/ blood thinner because of previous Pulmonary Embolism and take oxygen. I am basically house bound for 95% of each week and if I get the chance then I have my mobility scooter (also have stairlift at home) and never once have I asked anyone one this or any other site for sympathy and people to feel sorry for me. I've forgotten the amount of times I've been rushed into A&E but l always believed and still do that the glass is half full. Life is good

Alberta56 profile image
Alberta56 in reply toWill57

You're a toughie Will and no mistake. I try to be a toughie too- you have to be when you've got a husband with dementia and a daughter who sometimes needs support, but I would occasionally like a shoulder to cry on. We're all different. Puddy is in a bad place at the moment. Give the lady time to pick herself up and hopefully join the toughie club. I wish you well- you set a standard for all would be toughies.👍🏼👍🏼👍🏼

puddy68 profile image
puddy68 in reply toAlberta56

Thank you, Alberta56.....yes, Will57 definitely is a toughie with all he's been through, and so are you. I can't wait for the time [and I know it will come one day] when I become a toughie too!

puddy68 profile image
puddy68 in reply toWill57

Dear Will57. I'm so sorry to hear about your health, and that you are house bound for 95% of the week. I pray for your healing and I pray that your positive attitude regarding the glass being half full continues for you. Just to clarify, in my numerous posts I actually did mention giving up drinking and smoking, however unfortunately I had a relapse over the space of a week. I don't post with the aim of people feeling sorry for me......I post repetitive questions [this is a part of my anxiety disorder], to reach out for help......when I'm feeling helpless, and don't know where to turn to. I am truly sorry if this has annoyed you, or anyone else. God Bless You.

Patk1 profile image
Patk1 in reply toWill57

You've certainly a lot to deal with Will57. Yr optimism is admirable xxxxx

PaulineHM profile image
PaulineHM

Hi there, yes it is possible to live an almost normal life withPH. My son has had it since he was 17, secondary to another condition.

He exercises regularly, eats well, holds a busy full time job, bringing up two small ones who are very active. So it is possible.

Do you have a respiratory therapist you could speak to ? They may be able to offer support and guidance.

Go well,

Pauline

puddy68 profile image
puddy68 in reply toPaulineHM

Thank you so much, Pauline. I'm so sorry to hear about your son, however it sounds as though he is coping very well. What a resilient young man. I'm waiting to see my PH specialist [I haven't met him/her yet as I'm waiting on an appointment for a second opinion. Thank you so much again. God Bless.

PaulineHM profile image
PaulineHM in reply topuddy68

Hi, thanks for your kind comments. I hope you get your specialist appointment soon.

This might be of help to you with anxiety.. it’s available every Tuesday.. fabulous amazing teacher.

youtube.com/live/TOIxB9UwCq...

Go well.

Pauline

puddy68 profile image
puddy68 in reply toPaulineHM

Thank you so much once again, Pauline. I really appreciate your replies.

MoyB profile image
MoyB

Anxiety can be our own worst enemy, but it's hard to get under control, isn't it? I hope you are having a better day today.

I feel sure you already have this link: phauk.org/ which is for the Pulmonary Hypertension Association UK, but I thought I'd post it anyway as a possible option for further information and support.

I'm going through an anxious time myself at the moment and was up half the night worrying and trying to clear my head, so I really do understand how difficult things can be when you can't predict the future - but, of course, no one can actually do that! If only we could make our brains accept that in the middle of the night!!!

You sound like a dedicated teacher who has made a positive difference to many lives. Try not to let your anxiety prevent you from making a difference to many more!

We need to live each day as well as we are able. Worrying about the future can stop us doing that, but I always think that information is power. I like to understand what is going on so that I can be in control as far as possible and I'm guessing you may be the same, which is why I posted the above link. I hope it helps.

Best wishes to you,

xx Moy

puddy68 profile image
puddy68 in reply toMoyB

Thank you for your lovely reply, Moy - to say I appreciate it is an understatement. I agree that information is power, and I too like to understand what is going on. Thank you also for the link, which I will definitely have a look at. God Bless.

Shabana1974 profile image
Shabana1974

Hi did you know once you start eating and drinking the right things the Liver is a wonderful organ and slowly repairs it's self. When people go for liver transplant a parent can give their child half of their live because the liver will regrow itself back to original size. I understand your anxiety. And everything seems scary and over powering (Because hubby had Liver Cancer twice that's why I learned so much. Hubby didn't drink or smoke he picked up a nasty virus as a child. So the only way to rid him of the virus was to remove the liver where it lived.). I am now past the overthinking it's not easy to get there. But try and think positive. For me I am thankful to God for whatever good or bad,but I know not everyone is religious. But try pick up on the positive first each day.

Best of luck

Shabana

puddy68 profile image
puddy68 in reply toShabana1974

Hi Shabana - thank you so much for your reply, and I'm so sorry to hear about what your husband had to go through. I am a Christian, and I feel very guilty as I know I should not worry/be anxious, as I pray to Him daily. I pray to Him, then try to take the "control" back, which results in my anxious. I know that I need to try harder.

Shabana1974 profile image
Shabana1974 in reply topuddy68

Don't feel guilty, it takes time to take the power back. Just keep steadfast. I am a Muslim, as I reverted 33 years ago. And we have 1 simple one Alhumdillah. Which translates Thanks to God..

As well as praying. Maybe throughout the day just repeat Thanks to God honestly thats helped me no end I use I Arabic word. But you can repeat in English.

Superzob profile image
Superzob

I’m afraid I know nothing about PH, but I was diagnosed with anxiety 50 years ago and still take beta-blockers to alleviate the problem (though the dose is so low I wonder whether it’s just a placebo effect!). Unfortunately, there is no logic to anxiety, health or otherwise, as it doesn’t affect the outcome; it’s simply the body’s misapplication of the “flight or fight” response and, as you’ve no doubt gleaned from the responses, some people are better at dealing with this than others. This is unsurprising as we all react differently to the same physical conditions, so why not a natural phenomenon like anxiety, too?

I’ve been going through a bad patch recently and went on the anxiety forum; one response suggested keeping a note of my negative feelings about something, then noting how it actually panned out. I realise that wouldn’t work for anxiety over a long-term chronic condition (of which I have 6), but a lot of anxiety is cumulative and reducing the impact of little troubling things (over which I currently worry a lot) can reduce the overall anxiety burden and, hopefully, result in a more positive outlook. This is not something that will change overnight, but I’m hoping that taking these small steps will ultimately put me in a better place - hope it works for you, too.

puddy68 profile image
puddy68 in reply toSuperzob

Hi Superzob. I will definitely take your advice onboard. I really appreciate the time you took to reply to me - thank you so much. I'm so sorry about your anxiety, and I hope your improves, too. God Bless.

Jaysha profile image
Jaysha

I completely understand. I was having terrible panic attacks at night. My mum always had a saying there is an answer for everything so I thought what is triggering them. My pillows I lie on so I bought some bounce back pillows and now use 3 to sleep on brilliant. During the day if I feel panicky I go out of the room into another one or sit outside until I feel calmer and do my breathing exercises which helps. I find distraction works for me to snap me out of it. There is nothing worse than the fear that attacks you for no reason whatsoever and you want to just run. I hope this has helped a little. Someone said blow into a bag! I said how can I when I can't breathe!! Some people are totally clueless. Take care.

puddy68 profile image
puddy68 in reply toJaysha

Thanks so much, Jaysha. I can totally relate to what you're saying. I can really relate to the distraction as helping, too. Thank you

Thinkhealthy profile image
Thinkhealthy

hi - sounds like you’re going through a tough time. I don’t know much about PH , but I do know that there is so much help available now for severe anxiety and as others have said in reply , please do try to get proper help with how to manage it. A close family member realized things were very bad and having found a good psychologist- who helped him understand what was going on in his head - he’s been disciplined about practicing good mental exercises, acknowledging triggers and working on healthier ways to address them . It’s an enormous difference. I hope you can get the right help xxxx

puddy68 profile image
puddy68 in reply toThinkhealthy

Thank you so much, Thinkhealthy. My GP is organising a counsellor for me - I'm really hoping that this will help. Thanks so much, again.

janedivney profile image
janedivney

Maybe it would be best to give priority to addressing your health anxiety, before you attempt to stop drinking etc. If you do that at a time when your anxiety is out of control, you’re setting yourself up to fail. Then you beat yourself up over failing, which lowers your self-esteem, which increases your anxiety… and so it goes on. Just a thought x

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