A new acquaintance invited us for a meal/drinks. We find ourselves in their garden surrounded by 8 people who chain smoke all evening. 4 hours of passive smoking have really caused me a problem today. I coughed all night long and my windpipe/throat and nose feel extremely sore. Does anyone know if any long term damage would have occurred?
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Janetabcd
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I don't know about the long term results of one night of passive smoking. I only know that I would have left and told them in a matter of fact why.
Thank you for your reply. Yes you are right. I thought about it but too embarrassed to speak up...stupid of me really. It wont happen ever again. And feel I can't invite them back because of their smoking habit.
No it's not stupid of you but selfish and stupid of them. In July 2007 my life changed when the smoking ban came in. I have had my share of suffering in silence and being sneered at for not wanting people to smoke around me. No more, I say what I think and I don't care what they think.
I used to sit and suffer about things but after watching "Murder she wrote" many years ago, the main character Jessica Fletcher taught me we can say anything so long as it's polite. The sitting politely makes us angry at ourselves or at worse suffer consequences. So to copy Jessica, she would have said in her polite but confident voice, " I didn't ask if there would be smokers, and as my lung condition is serious, I'm terribly sorry I'll need to leave. I hope you understand. Thank you for inviting me though, I really appreciate it"
(The same for your return invite - just tell them politely you'd love to see them, even if only can be for an hour for coffee if being smoke free for longer is hard for them)
This changed my life (as I was someone who was too worried about other people's feelings and never liked to say no).
Thank you! That really helps. I'm not usually a shrinking violet but at the time I didnt want to upset anyone. And also the language barrier I think it's easier to offend people if they dont understand.
But that advice is really helpful. Thank you so much xx
I can’t say about long term damage, but I can no longer tolerate 2nd hand smoke (or shisha vapour, often in outside bars too). I pay the price shortly after exposure and for the next couple of days with inflamed airways, shortness of breath and limited walking.
I’ve learned to remove myself from these situations even if I look anti-social as I’m not willing to pay the price.
I agree. I suffer from smoking effects, and carry a card saying this, given to me in pulmonary rehabilitation,I have not been in a situation in or out of doors yet as shielding still, and not looking forward to it.
Poor you. I can remember before the smoking ban in pubs came in, i used to hate going into to smoke filled pubs as it always effected me for days. I gave up smoking 38 years ago when my asthma returned and i thought i was going to die. I gave up the next day easily and havent smoked since. I was lucky. But i will never go where people are smoking and am not afraid to say why. Im even worse now that i have IPF, i have smelt bonfires that have been half a mile away 😀etc. Nose and lungs very sensitive nowadays. I think no permanent damage but keep them at a safe distance say....half a mile or so. Take care
Never mind, hope you feel better soon. Try ice lollies ir ic cream, very soothing
Good you were outside.
Only a real problem if you did that all the time, but if just a one off not likely to have caused permanent lung damage.
Any poor air quality makes me cough, I would have come away from the situation myself, not sure I would have tolerated it for 30 minutes never mind 4 hours.
Its one of the ways COPD / lung damage impacts on quality of life. we can't mix as well or freely with those who may be bug ridden or those who pollute our air space.
I am sure you will recover from the exposure, so long as all kept safe distance and you didn't pic up any virus or other bugs.
I am sorry for your horrible experience. I do not condone smoking at all and avoid smoke of any kind at all costs, if people want to smoke in their garden though that's up to them as long as I am not there or anywhere close by😅. I noticed you said "new acquaintance" . Did they know of your lung issues? Not to be harsh but if not then they possibly never even thought to ask. And why on earth would you stay for four hours? 😐I think if you actually like these people (and I think you do because you wouldn't have gone to see them if not, or stayed for that long), I would explain your condition and continue to be friends on the proviso that when you do meet up it would have to be under no smoking conditions. I have a friend that smokes and I think that's her business , and I don't mind as she never smokes near me. Plus she's a lovely lady. So I want to keep up the friendship. My long winded point being, I think everyone has their weakness, mine being cheese. I know it's not quite the same but I won't shun my friend for being a smoker and she respects that I don't want it around me. It's workable. But if you aren't keen on them, easy, end of story. Take care. 😊👋
Most people are courteous enough if they know what you have. I was over at my brothers one night and he was smoking in the house. I ended up having to spend the night because I became so ill I couldn’t drive home. His wife kept asking him to stop but he wouldn’t. I haven’t been back. They don’t smoke in the house anymore. Not sure why he smokes at all because he has lung problems too now.
You could invite them but ask that they don’t smoke when they are with you. If they weren’t aware of your health issues before they might happily go without smoking for a couple of hours now they do.
Hi, yes I could invite them but I get the feeling they wouldn't be interested if they couldn't smoke as they were all chain smoking. I've never seen anything like it!
I live in southern Spain, my lung condition has greatly improved while I have been living here (17 years). The people at the bbq were Spanish and French....and I should have realised because these nationalities are usually big smokers.
Yes it’s tricky - we live near Álora inland Malaga Province and have one or two committed smokers as neighbours but to be honest most don’t. We are lucky !! Hope you find some non smokers . Take care x
Hope you feel better soon. Last barbeque I was invited to, I had to leave as soon as they started to light the bbq pan as they were using firelighters and the paraffin smell was starting an exacerbation.
I used to sit and suffer about things but after watching "Murder she wrote" many years ago, the main character Jessica Fletcher taught me we can say anything so long as it's polite. The sitting politely makes us angry at ourselves or at worse suffer consequences. So to copy Jessica, she would have said in her polite but confident voice, " I didn't ask if there would be smokers, and as my lung condition is serious, I'm terribly sorry I'll need to leave. I hope you understand. Thank you for inviting me though, I really appreciate it"
(The same for your return invite - just tell them politely you'd love to see them, even if only can be for an hour for coffee if being smoke free for longer is hard for them)
This changed my life (as I was someone who was too worried about other people's feelings and never liked to say no).
yes I agree. for years I suffered in silence or left after a short time. Pubs were awful . But I never explained exactly why . Now I live in a terraced house with living rooms on first floor. the house next door was sold 5 years ago and is now rented . since then we have had new tenant every 6 months and nearly every time there are smokers. no garden so they always sit outside right under the windows. the warm smoke rises up to window level moves along and enters my windows You can see it. !. p/ I have explained my problem but smokers are addicts.
I would have moved away from the circle for sure if you were worried about it, but from my experience I'm sure it'll just be short term effects, not long term.
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