Bronchictacis and elderly mother

[Fisherboy]

My husband is 70 and has bronchiectaecis. No spleen and is self isolatin. I by default am self isolating also. I have an elderly mother 92 who has early vascular dementia but still lives in her own home. I look after her one day a week, my brother and younger , single sister do their best to care for her too. Should I continue to care for mum on my day and risk taking infection back to my husband. I am in such a dilemma and mum is so vulnerable as is my husband.

[jmsutt73]

If ample bedroom space is available for isolation, would it be possible to bring your mother to your home during this virus crisis?

[Fisherboy in reply to jmsutt73]

Thank you for taking the time to reply, unfortunately we don’t have the room to have mum living with us.

[Hidden]

I would leave your mother to your brother and sister, they should understand. It will only be an xtra half day each to cover your day.

[Fisherboy in reply to Hidden]

Thanks for replying. I have decided to take mum up a cooked meal, knock and leave it outside and when she answers stay 6 feet away and chat to her while wearing a mask. I will ring her as well each day and hope this is enough.

[Hidden in reply to Fisherboy]

best to do what you feel comfortable with

[Hidden]

If your mum isn’t going out, she’s probably at very low risk of picking up the virus & passing it on. My mother is also 92 & lives alone, with help from me & her neighbours. I’ve got bronchiectasis & an immune deficiency too. Just be very careful when you visit & when you return home. Time it so you’re going there a couple of days after others.

[Fisherboy in reply to Hidden]

Thank you for your reply, you are in a difficult situation also. I would worry re neighbours going in, but needs must sometimes. Please be careful and stay as safe as you can.

[powderpuff]

As hard as it may seem I don't see you have a choice but to put both you & your husband first. Vascular Dementia will make that decision more difficult for you, but at least your Mum will still have 2 familiar faces who she is used too still able to visit.

My husband is in the same position with his 94 year old Mum who has multiple health issues. He has decided that it's just too risky, so has handed over to my son who will do what he can.

Take care!

[Fisherboy in reply to powderpuff]

Thank you for your reply. It is so difficult to make decisions about our elderly loved ones during this awful time. I have decided to take a meal up to mum and chat to her from a distance and up the number of phone calls. Hopefully my siblings manage, but my brother is 70 so will have to decide what he will do.

Stay strong and safe

[Badbessie]

With your brother and sister looking after your mother then the chance of infection to both your mother and yourself is quite high. Leave it too your brother and sister but even then due to two different people going in there is still a high risk sadly to your mother.

[Fisherboy in reply to Badbessie]

I do agree with you about the chance of infection to my mother but she needs help and won’t have carers, although that would still be a risk to her. There is no perfect answer, but I have decided to take her a meal and chat from a distance and telephone often, I can’t think of any other way. It is all out of our hands really isn’t it. Stay safe and thanks for taking the time to reply.

[jmsutt73 in reply to Fisherboy]

Assuming that you are in the UK, are there assisted living facilities there for the elderly but capable seniors? J

[DaisyEric]

I think leaving a meal is an ideal compromise you will 'see' your Mum but not risk any germs coming home with you. Best of luck!