My father of 86 years has been diagnosed with duodenal cancer estimated only 6 months. Any advice would be appreciated

[merlin1234567]

He has kidney disease stage 3 and heart weakness

[sassy59]

So sorry to hear about your father’s diagnosis. What support has he been offered? I just hope you’re well supported too and your dad will have quality of life for however long he lives. Thinking of you. Xxxx

[merlin1234567 in reply to sassy59]

Thanks for your reply. The hospital people at this point have been helpful and kind. Within a couple of days they had sorted Attendance Allowance and waiting for the DS1500 form that should rush through Blue Badge. I am staying with him 5 days a week and giving regular meals and fluids he seems good. It is what symptoms will be and coping with them. We are registered also with the Macmillen Nurses if need help.

[sassy59 in reply to merlin1234567]

That’s good and it sounds as if you have support and lots in place to help. The MacMillan nurses will be there for your fathers needs and yours too as and when required.

Keeping you in my thoughts. Xxx

[merlin1234567 in reply to sassy59]

xxx

[skischool]

Sorry to hear about your dad's diagnosis merlin and just popping on a link that i hope may be of some use but it sounds like the hospital are geared up with most of the advice you may require.

cancerresearchuk.org/about-...

Ski's and Scruff's x

[merlin1234567 in reply to skischool]

Thanks for taking time to message x

[RoadRunner44]

Hello Merlin, It's good you found time to share your feelings with us here. It is so difficult when a parent you love dearly has to endure such health problems towards the end of his life. It is wonderful, however, that you have reached out for advice and support to ensure you do the best you can for your dad. It appears the important things, other than his treatment, is in place. Try and look after yourself and eat well so that you can continue to support your father in the caring way you are doing already.

Yes, we all have to go through these unpleasant times sooner or later, but take comfort from the fact you are doing all you can to support him in his hour of need. Try and make the most of the time he has left, and share the memories you have made together. My thoughts are with you.

[merlin1234567 in reply to RoadRunner44]

Thank you for your message. Caring is a mental strain which creeps up on you. My partner is terminal with idiopathic Pulmonary Fibrosis and neighbour who is near end with dementia and bone cancer. Was certainly under pressure and met old friend from 30 years ago that changed how I was feeling. Talking out the family circle worked for me. Just as well as now have me dad to care for. Thanks for listening x

[RoadRunner44 in reply to merlin1234567]

I am so sorry to hear about your partner who also has health problems.

You mention you chatted to an old friend of over 30 years Merlin. There is a very true saying... A problem shared is a problem halved. Try and talk to a trusted friend or family member as often as you can. It definitely helps, It could be over the phone or even an email. Is there anyone you know who could sit with your dad so that you can go out for walk or a little shopping? Under the circumstances social services may be able to help with your difficulties. After all, if you are poorly who would look after your dad and partner? Do continue to share your feelings with us. We all understand and want to support you during this very difficult period of your life. Regards, Chrys

[merlin1234567 in reply to RoadRunner44]

Thanks Chrys. Look after yourself too. Linda x

[Damon1864 Volunteer]

So. Very sorry to hear hear this, just love and support your dad and make his life as comfortable as possible. But please never give up hope, I never did when I lost my brother Peter through the same cancer. It hurts but it's worth all the hurt I felt knowing he was happy and I could still make home smile. I hope this helps, please let us know how your dad is and remember we are always here for you to I. Have a good day and take care of yourself 😊 Bernadette xx

[merlin1234567 in reply to Damon1864]

Thanks Bernadette. I just hope pains etc are not bad for him. Obviously in contact with Macmillan's. His acceptance makes it a little easier so we can chat about happy times. He is 86 looking about 65 lol but had happy life so day to day now. X Linda

[Izb1]

So sorry to hear about your dad Merlin, ask the macmillan nurses any questions you may have Im sure they will put your mind at rest. Just be there for your dad and talk to him. I found it helped to talk to my mum when she was terminal, told her constantly how much I loved her and spoke about days gone by. It must be hard for you with your partner being poorly as well. Get as much help as possible, you need it x

[merlin1234567]

Thank you. Dad and me are having conversations on the matter. He accepts it and knows if operation was done time left would not good. He is 86 and had happy life so go day to day. X