Is it just me or does anyone else think that there is a ratio of approximately 5:1 in any interaction with doctors and nurses regarding COPD?
To clarify; every time I speak to one of them I have to remember that I have to let the nurse/doctor speak for about 5 times the amount of time I do in any interaction. And I have to remember just to bite my tongue and let the font of wisdom run out of steam before reiterating what I was asking. For example ‘Yes, Mums breathing is a lot worse at the moment and I know it’s always worse first thing but honestly ITS WORSE’ (as I said 5 minutes ago before you started talking).
I don’t mind this inequality in discourse anymore, it used to drive me nuts, it’s just I always forget that’s how it is until the first q and a. Then in my head I think ‘oh, I forgot how long they go on for they will stop in a minute and I can try to reassert the fact I am not brain dead and have been doing this for 4 years and ask the original question again.’
And I really appreciate all the help we receive and the consistently pleasant nurses especially that help Mum, I just do wonder if some could listen a little more. Maybe bring the ratio down a little to 3:1 or something?
Hope the day is as good as possible to all.
Written by
Phil40
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11 Replies
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I don’t let them get away with it. My con is actually a very good listener. She doesn’t have any choice 😖
Experience has taught me that if I let them run out of steam bestowing wisdom and nodding and making appropriate ‘mmm’ noises they become more conducive to listening and eventually we get there.
I think that a bit of manipulative ego stroking by (seemingly) letting the words of wisdom soak in (whilst thinking ‘I know that I know that’ ) seems to propagate a very helpful relationship.
At the beginning I used to get frustrated and angry. It has been a funny old journey.
I have come to the conclusion that I don’t suffer from this because I have been on this roundabout for over 66 years and my reputation goes before me 😂 they are always very nice to me and write the usual complimentary letters. Think they notice the broomstick?
That is a really good idea, always have someone with you. We only hear so much ourselves so that’s immediately increased with support. Especially around health and emotive stuff like this.
I have been to appointments with my son before; he cut his hand open with a chain saw. Not good but a brilliant surgeon at Salisbury hospital put him back together fortunately. (I love that man.) Anyway, after the appointments I would ask him what he had heard and it was like he had been in a different appointment and the only thing he would hear was anything negative!
Thank you, however I am not sure about how fine he is in a lot of other ways. With me anyway. Not spoken or seen him for ages and seriously do not know why.
But right now I cannot be bothered to worry about his strangeness, I have decided that I have only so much to give and right now the priority is Mum so I have taken a step back from all of my alleged adult children’s dramas and nonsense. And I am sad to say that on balance, life is easier.
He was always a bit odd tbh. Takes after me too much probably.
Yes I have a sister like that. I would go to vets appointments with her and her dog and whilst we hear roughly the same thing, as time went on her version would get more and more negative. For example I heard 'she might have a touch of arthritis'. My sister would remember it as 'she has gallloping arthritis' which justified her not taking her back to the vets when her back legs went for 2 days and she couldn't walk. When I repeated what the vet had actually said she would go into one and insist I had heard it wrong!
She does the same with everything. I remember a long discussion with her and my father years ago in which she was stating that in the McCann case she was definite the parents were guilty of her disappearance and went on about it at great length. Years later when they were exonerated she denied absolutely saying or thinking this. When I repeated the conversation she flew into a rage. Very surreal. x
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