New day hmmmm jury is out...

[docmel]

I feel no better or worse. I guess these are good things in life. I never really was a good patient or a very patient person. While I read all the words of encouragement yesterday I failed to be any the more happy today. I know its a state of mind / being a choice simply choose to be happy. I have never been good at those things I stumbled through life by burying myself in work from early morning to bedtime. So I guess my coping skills are kind of not there in the respects of how I used to deal with depression/stress/anxiety. Yes I’m on an anti-depressant and because of that and a couple of other medications I have to avoid direct sunlight the best thing for depression. My anxiety I’m not sure where it comes from or what’s causing it. I think some from just literally living pay check to pay check wondering how I will come up with money for medication or copays. Yes I still manage the finances as I am told I am very good at it. I am not very good at putting myself first never have been since I was little took care of my little brother and sister from when I was in second grade when my mom would be so depressed she wouldn’t get up and make breakfast for us. As I grew up I still took care of others first.

Work is my way of coping now I got to find another way....

[sassy59]

I’m just pleased you are telling us this docmel. It may well help. I hope you find a different way of coping too and will always wish you well.

Keep talking. Xxxx

[hypercat54]

I think that's the same for many of us docmel. When I was young I was physically very fit but have suffered from depression all my life. Fortunately most of the time it was mild but it didn't half play havoc with my life though and is probably the reason why I am on my own today with no partner or children.

Like you I buried myself in my work and my social life and I was always busy so I didn't have time to think too much. Now I have finished work for good and have far too much time on my hands. I need to feel useful so as I am fortunate enough to be able to I do volunteer in a charity shop and my over 50's centre which gets me out and about.

I dread old age and infirmity and the day when I can't get out and about coz I would have to cope alone. I can't imagine being in your shoes dear Mel and have to accept such limitations. I don't have any answers for you but do wish you all the best. x

[Caspiana]

Hello docmel .

I know what you mean about burying yourself in work. I used to do that constantly to keep my mind from becoming too bogged down by depression. But inevitably depression would invite anxiety to the party at my expense, them being the best of friends and all. 😑 Things have improved since I made significant lifestyle changes and finding that working myself to the point of exhaustion was not helping.

I try and think of these emotions as visitors. They come and go. Some visits are longer and harder than others. Talking really helps, whether it's with someone you know or someone who is willing to listen even if you don't know them. At times, it's easier to be completely frank with a stranger.

I struggle with my oxygen, but I really push myself to get out of the house. Yesterday, I had a pedicure and had a good conversation with my pedicurist. I definitely felt better afterwards, even though what we talked about was pretty mundane and insignificant.

I really hope you can feel a bit better soon. Take your time, be kind to yourself. 🌹I am thinking of you.

Warm wishes,

Cas xx 🌸🌻

[Dedalus]

Just by writing these posts means you're still trying to beat the depression. Cas is right about treating these feelings like visitors - some overstay their welcome so try to kick them out!! Hope you're feeling better soon x

[Izb1]

Hi docmel, sorry to hear you are feeling so low. Do you have any hobbies/interests that can help make your day more enjoyable and do you have any local clubs that you could join. Seeing different people and just talking all helps. Exercise is also a great help. I stopped work 4 years ago and must admit I love being at home, there just isnt enough hours in the day for all the things I want to do and no more stress, although since stopping work I seem to have developed numerous health problems which is a daily battle, but do feel blessed for the life I have. I do hope you find something to lift you up. Irene x