I paid for a consultation with a respritory specialist today and discovered that my COPD is now at severe level. I'm told it can be managed to give me a better quality of life but I'm feeling very down. I can barely walk without getting breathless now and yet only a few months ago I was able to manage to get out and about on my scooter to do some shopping. I'm doing all the things that I'm advised to do to control my breathing etc. and have been watching this forum for several weeks. How does a person cope with it all? I'm feeling hopeless.
I'm a 75 year old female,
Written by
patty-ann
To view profiles and participate in discussions please or .
Patty all you can do is your best. I find the most important thing is to keep positive. All so. Iam afraid it really is if you don't use it you lose it. I think if you are like me then after this winter. Where a lot Weaker. Hopefully we. Will get stronger. It's a awful illness . Do you have support. You can come back from when your weak. You must eat well. And join breathing classes. Maybe this is not what you want to hear. Bless. You. Take care. Paul
Thank you for replying so promptly Paul. I do have a very supportive partner and he helps me as much as he can but I know he worries when I can't breathe. I don't know what I'd do without him. There is very little help in my locality for COPD, I've been waiting for almost a year for a rehab course. Feelng positive is easier said than done.
Is there a breathe easy group or a singing for breathing group near you? The singing will help your breathing and you'll find that meeting others in the same or similar situation helps. I find that it makes me feel better both physically and mentally.
The nearest Breathe Easy group is 16 miles away. My partner and I sing in the car when he takes me for a drive but I can't find any organised sort of help here.
I think my depression is my problem, I just don't see the point of struggling on to extend the quantity when there's no quality to my life.
Hi Patty, please stay positive it really does help. I know it's easy to say that, but I also know how you are feeling at the moment. Keep fighting, exercise and eat healthier. Make sure you have people who will support you. We on here will give you support also,so try not to worry. Keep posting to let us know how you are. 😊Xx Bernadette
My partner is the only support I have at present. My offspring don't know the severity of my condition and they don't live close by.... I don't know how much to tell them.
Hello patty-ann, I'm sorry to hear that you are struggling to cope with your illness. It's understandable and with time you will find your own way's of dealing with all the ups and downs we all live with on this forum. I have very severe Emphaseama and like you the easiest of tasks has me breathless. What I do when I am struggling to breath is talk to myself, I talk myself out of the panic before it gets worse. Now that might sound strange but it works for me. I simply say "calmly dose it, you'll be fine and so on. My husband says these things to me, so I'm mimicking him. And then it calms me down enough to do my breathing technique. patty, you will find your own way that works for you my friend. I'm in my 60's . Please keep Intouch with us, we are here for you. 🌹
I do manage to calm myself down, I have tablets from the doctor but I haven't taken any yet. They are my last resort if I feel I'm starting to panic. I usually use breathing techniques until I get control again.
Hello patty-ann, it is about the coping not easy when you are older. You have to just do what you are able don't think about what you cannot do think of the positives that you can do. Could you pay for someone to take you out or would that be an impossible task for you now.? As suggested singing and breatheasy groups can be very supportive but are not available in all areas. I used to be very confident at first but now I find it hard like yourself to be positive as ability reduces. Take each day as it comes and do your best is how I cope. Take care and live each day to your capacity not what others expect.
I'm doing my best all the time but it just doesn't seem good enough any more. My decline has come so quickly I'm not adjusted to it yet. Only a few weeks ago I was able to get out in the town on the scooter and now I'm barely able to walk to the garage to get it out.
Maybe this might be a temporary bad spell, but I would try for day care often they pick you up and you get to go out with help & supervision in case you are taken ill. Meet other people there too, maybe different conversations. You need some help to come to terms with the sudden deterrioration . Don't give up I am sure you will find a new way to cope with the next phase of your life. Best wishes
How hard for you-do you like music? It can be very soothing and distracting-perhsps an audio with a calm voice showing you how to breath through the panic?
The thing to remember when you feel panicky is that fear will make you fear even more so try to relax as much as possible-hardest thing when you are scared i know.
Do you have any hobbies you can do when sitting? Like jigsaws on a board-come back to them as and when-decoupage-painting-to name a few, maybe ask someone to take you to an art class?
Finally-I used to work in a day Hospice with patients with all sorts of diseases and COPD - did you know that you can refer yourself or doctor can to a Sue Ryder day hospice? Find the phone number on google.
They provide once a week day care with a multi team of specialist nurses, physio, doctor, pyshcologist, art and crafts, etc and its all FREE! Also they can help with medications and referals.
You meet lots of nice people and they will support and care for all of you.
People wrongly think you go to a Hospice and stay there but its day care once a week.
Its good fun too as they orgaines the meals and games and activities and lots of things!
I worked there for a ling time and can recommend their services.
I dont know if theres one in your area- but please give it some thought it will help you tremendously.
I had lots of hobbies, painting, knitting etc. I still knit and crochet for charity. I have a knitting machine and loads of yarns. Still have paints but got cataracts now so don't see well enough. I play games on the lap top, watch TV, would love to do a bit of gardening but can't. I'm doing exercises to try to strengthen my lungs several times a day. I eat healthy foods, and at present can still manage to beat my partner at scrabble but at the back of my mind I'm always thinking 'the end is nigh', 'your days are numbered' , 'why bother', 'all is lost'. How do I get past hese thoughts?
I sympathise with you, its so hard struggling to do the simplest things. I have Bronchiectasis, I am 84. Not felt well for weeks now, keep hoping tomorrow will be better. Sometimes it is for a little while. I pushed myself one day and then I cough up blood, which always scares me. So then I take it easy and do my knitting, read my book, watch some tv, do a crossword, all in between the jobs I have to do, just the bare necessities.
I remind myself of how bad I have felt in the past and then felt better, it must be hard for our husbands and friends to understand how different we can feel from one day to the next. Itsnot what you can't do, it's what you can do, and the weather is improving to help us. Love Iris x
It's not bravery Patty, I think its resignation, "what can't be cured must be endured" as the saying goes, and it seems there is not a lot of help out there for us. There are always folk worse off, we all know that, but it's natural to feel fed up when we can't do what we used to be able to do. You will find a way to cope I am sure. Sharing our fears and worries on here is a good start.
Sorry you feel down. Get GP to put you in touch with RESP team, do as much as you can with gentle exercise , the singing and breath easy groups are a very good idea as suggested . More knowledge is a good thing .Look at the suggested BLF sites for ideas and reinvigoration. Never give up. Listen to the birds enjoy the sunshine.
GP is a on starter! Getting to see a GP takes weeks. Never heard of a RESP team in this area. Yes, I listen to the birds (seagulls squarking) and enjoy the sunshine too, I live at the coast and on a good day used to be able to sit on my scooter watching the sea but I get breathless just trying to get to the garage to get on the scooter when my partner gets it out for me. I'm telling myself to pull myself together now after all the replies and support I'm getting from here.
I don't use oxygen, I was told I didn't need it. I'm currently medicating myself on doxycycline and 2 little tablets of steroid just to check any infection that might be lurking in my nasty looking sputom.
hi patty ann am sory you feel down butthen just think about it if you wake up in a morning you gota other day to look forwrad too like you i have Severe COPD and also severe eimscem if that how you spelt it but am on oxygen when out walking it help me get round and yes i can walk a lot more now i am in a rehab class and that also helpping but the other day someone said to me who know when your going to go can any say they know anyone can go at anytime so live to you means and have fun
Patti ann hi my name Vron and I have had C O P D for 25years . and I know exactly how you must be feeling. Please don't despair you will soon learn to live with it try to keep smiling I know its hard but it does help if you can,
there are so many people who have this roton thing. and they will all love to help you, Stay on this site there are so many good people here all my love and prayers for you Vron
I've had COPD for over ten years and been watching this site for about 4 years. Until very recently I was considered a mild case and I managed very well. I worked until I was 70 years old and only gave up 5 years ago. I don't understand why I've deteriorated so quickly, it a matter of weeks I've been going down hill, I thought it was just Winter effecting me but now Spring is here and I'm no better
You may still be recovering from a bad infection or pneumonia, I felt really ill and breathless for about 2 months after infection and then I started to feel better, now I feel quite good. I hope this is the same for you. Lilian xxxxx
Take each day as it comes- theres brilliant practical advice on here too isnt there! Its natural to have low days-do you have someone you can talk to when things get you down?
My partner is here to help but he doesn't understand the panic that comes with gasping for breath. He tends not to empathise and I think he thinks he's helping by getting angry because he doesn't know what to do to help.
Well at least count your blessings. I'm only 57 , female, and had a terminal lung cancer diagnosis. I have had an awful chemo session, and can hardly get from one room to another. I'm struggling on though as best I can. Life is really tough. Good luck.
Hi. Patty Ann It's only human to fill weak. And when like us you cannot breath. Right. Then you fill like we do. However we must except this and hang in there. With me I do my dam hardest to not let depression seap in because. It's very hard to shake of so do what ever it takes. Me I'll do any thing to prevent so I think all I can do. It is tough but. I know depression is if I allowed it would of been the end of me a long time ago. So please patty. You. Hold your head high. This is a test. But you can become a better person though this illness these online groups are great help. Try to start breath easy. Classes. It will get you out the house and meet others plus they teach understanding about. Coping with breathlessness Bless you my darling Paul. J. Hackney.
Content on HealthUnlocked does not replace the relationship between you and doctors or other healthcare professionals nor the advice you receive from them.
Never delay seeking advice or dialling emergency services because of something that you have read on HealthUnlocked.
Denial over so what now?
Shielding 
What to do now
What would you do??
