Guilt

[MrsGeee]

I feel so guilty because my husband has to do so much for me. He says it's ok, but I feel helpless at times, does anyone else feel guilt due to their lung condition ?

[sassy59]

I know my husband Pete does as he is very breathless and not able to do much. He has heart problems too.

I am really happy to care for him but do feel helpless sometimes. I wish things were different but they’re not and l know he would do the same for me.

You take care and I’m sure you are much loved. Xxxxx

[newlands]

I feel guilty my daughter does so much for me and she herself is not well ,I do pay for a carer to come and give me breakfast I also pay for a cleaner it’s the bits In between she does a lot . She says I should let her come and do breakfast but I get DLA and that’s what it’s for hopefully when warmer weather comes I will be able to do my own breakfast if I am not as breathless

Take care

Dorothy

[Badbessie]

I think you are definitely not on your own here. Fortunately even will my lung condition I can still do so much. Sadly due to various medical problems my wife cannot at times. She feels guilty for needing help knowing that I have a condition myself. We consider ourselves a team we always have. We break down jobs within the house and prioritize them. If something does not get done then it does not get done. She describes her built as grieving in a way for the person she was and she as problems accepting the situation now. Luckily my was placed onto a pain management programme which addresses the emotional side of her problems and this is giving her coping strategies. Perhaps there is someone in the community who your GP could refer you to to help the situation. I am sure others will suggest people who may be able to help.

[Hidden]

Hello MrsGeee

Yes you are not on your own. I do too when I have to call on my daughter to take me to a medical appointment as I don’t drive. I usually call a taxi if it isn’t too far away.

Tomorrow I have to go to the eye specialist on my own. I didn’t want to bother her again. It’s the way back after the eye drops I am not looking forward too so I will have to take a taxi.

Well you probably did your fair share of helping the family in the past, we all did so that’s life loving and being loved back. We are lucky to have a family we feel guilty for.

Wishing you well xx

Fran

[Usgang]

Hi, yes I feel guilty too, my partner does so much for me I would be lost without him and I break down and cry at times cause I feel so useless but he keeps telling me that's what you do for your loved ones xx

[greatauntali]

Oh yes, I feel guilty because in a very short space of time, I have gone from being a very active, independent person to a shapeless wreck who cannot even speak at times. Simple things like having a meal out, are no longer an option. Partly because I get embarrassed when I start coughing and also because it takes so much effort to get ready to go out that I am exhausted before we start.

Any plans we had for retirement have gone and I even feel guilty for still being here because I feel that he has put his life on hold and we are not getting any younger in the meantime.

I know he feels helpless and frustrated because he doesn't know how to help and I am programmed not to ask for help.

[bulpit]

Hard isnt it not doing the things you have always done without a second thought. It's hard to accept that you have to rely on someone else. Wonderful to have a loving caring husband. He will know how you feel,tell him every day how much you love him and treasure each other. Regards and very best wishes, Bulpit