The number of times I have been told the last few days you have done everything possible for your Dad, you were a good daughter, grief is a process..it should be reassuring.. but when I got to his room, I saw the room had been cleaned, and they were a few personal items laid on the bed..I had this invasive sense of loss..
Family is arriving today, I am dreading it, I have to pull myself together..
The day will happen and you’ll get through, Fran. Stay strong 🧘♂️and calm. Don’t let a practical items become too signifant now. You’ll have time afterwards to reflect further. Bea will be there with you, and your friends and family are coming to support you, as well as to remember your Dad....who, by the way, will be with you in spirit all the way, and thinking ‘Thank you, Fran’. Your meditation, I’m more than sure, will be a great help too, as you move forward.
Lots of love, Fran 💝💕 We’ll all be thinking of you, today and tomorrow. Big hug, Penny xx
Thank you Penny, you always know what to say..It is just that they will want details and I don’t want to talk about it, I have decided to say I’d rather remember happier memories of Dad.
I’m just having a lie down, after preparing yet another meal and sorting the clearing up. I’m exhausted after four days non stop. Lovely to have everyone here but it takes more energy than I seem to have! I hope you’re getting through today too, even if exhausting. You need not be dragged into chapter and verse about your Dad’s final days. Don’t be pushed into saying more than you can cope with. You perhaps need something in mind to answer with, such as ‘He’s at peace now. The details will keep for another day, I’m sure you won’t mind. It’s a difficult time just now.’ Or similar. Good luck, Fran! You’re your father’s daughter. Keep some routes of conversation ‘no go’ for as long as it pleases you to do so. There’ll be other days to talk more freely. Love and strength from Wales to Switzerland 🕊💕😘
Thanks, Fran....but not really. You’ve been so helpful and lovely to us all yourself, I’m just trying to reflect that back a little while you’re in a difficult place yourself . I hope all goes to plan tomorrow, and you feel happy with the way your Dad’s life is honoured. We’ll be thinking of you, your family and friends 💖Love and big hugs, Penny xxx
Everybody was very kind today, some started looking around the apartment for things they would like but it was to be expected..I said it would have to wait until Dad was buried. Some people have no shame..
Good heavens! Certainly no shame, nor tact or decency! Perhaps their intentions were honourable though so at this moment, we will try not to judge! I hope the big day for your Dad goes well, and he gets the noble goodbye that he has earned. 🕊💐💕 With love, Penny xx
i am still in that room with the loss of Cecilia,there are some personal items i can not touch without tears,there are some items i hug for relief from the pain,but ever so slightly there are items i pick up and i am bathed in joy and happy memories, Fran grieving is a slow process,sometimes it can be shared and sometimes it's a lonely road but it's a process we all have to go through at some stage of our lives.One day at a time my love and together with Bea the love for your Dad and Grandad will guide you both along that road...skis and scruff xx
Hi, good luck today Fran, just do your best and remember it's ok to feel the ups and downs of grief. You're human and so are they so they'll understand. Lots of love and hugs to you, I'm thinking of you ❤💙💚💛
Dear Fran, thank you for sharing the meditation clips. There is no getting around that loss hurts, and each of us deal with it differently. We do know that time will heal, even if it leaves us changed for always. The photo of your fathers belongings was very poingient even for those of us who have never met. Your friends out here will wish you strength and courage for days to come. Gino X
Hi I thought the same thing when my mum died. I remember thinking her room will be cleaned and she will be gone from there as though she had never existed. But she did.
The same with your dad. You are proof he lived and your memories will stay with you forever. You are probably feeling too bad right now to fully take in the lovely responses from others but they will kick in soon and you will feel reassured. Grief is a funny thing isn't it. Take care sweetie. Bev xx
Always think of the happy times with your beloved dad. I still do that for My Mum & Younger Brothers. Christmas day I celebrated Roberts 18 years when he passed,only in his 30's...I laugh at his Baby Curls & antics of him as I Babysat him when I was 12. The memories never fade Fran and it still makes me happy to have Loved & remember my wonderful family. Take care, Love to you Bea, & your Family. Carolina XXX
I try Carolina but the images of pain I saw on Thursday and Dad’s death on Friday morning are more vivid presently. I have found some nice anecdotes to tell im my speech later on however..
Hold on to your happy memories of your dad Fran as them and meditation will help you through this sad piece of life I am sure. On Christmas day we were recalling my father making the cakes and puddings in years gone by, he has been gone for thirty years this month but the memories live on just as your dads will. Take care xx
Thanks Katie I recalled how he was called to school because I had given up on school work once upon a time and my form tutor said to Dad, your daughter is not even good enough to work at the Post Office and Dad answered all work is noble Madam..
Lol. When we wanted my father to speak we would say 'Say something'. He would answer 'Something' x
Dear Fran I had the same experience with my mam and it was hard to bear, but I also felt a great feeling of relief that all her sufferings had gone and she was at peace, so dear Fran hold on to the happy times you shared there will always be things that will remind you of your Dad take care . Majt xx
• in reply to
Hi Matj
Yes I have all sorts of anecdotes that come to mind now:
There was the time when he had received a bottle of wine from his birth year 1929 from his colleagues and I was 18, didn’t know better, I saw it there and opened it, It was corked, couldn’t even drink it and left it.. I had a good hiding!!!😉
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Easing pain
