I know that Midge often looked at me
When I was wearing my hat.
And wondered why wore on my head
Such a tasty morsel as that.
And so it was that my straw hat
Had a hole getting bigger and bigger
Until it finally reached the stage
Where people began to snigger.
So Scarborough is the place to go,
To get a hat with style.
A line of shops down Foreshore Street
That must stretch for a mile.
And there it was looking just the job
I said you must be mine.
A bit expensive I thought
At four pounds ninety-nine! (Well I am in Yorkshire.)