My wife who: is a damn sight smarter... - Lung Conditions C...

Lung Conditions Community Forum

56,329 membersβ€’66,959 posts

My wife who

gustavski profile image
gustavski
β€’76 Replies

is a damn sight smarter than I am pointed out to me that I very likely upset some people in this community.

Although I have COPD I am in quite good health. I also realise that there are people on here who are probably in a bad way and I would not like to think that I contribute to them feeling down because of the provocative things I sometimes write.

In view of this I will not be sending any more posts.

This is a excellent site for people with breathing problems and I wish you all good health and happiness.

So long it was good to know you.

gus

Written by
gustavski profile image
gustavski
To view profiles and participate in discussions please or .
76 Replies
β€’
Symes profile image
Symes

Gus, don't go. Your posts brighten the day of many of us here!

Katinka46 profile image
Katinka46

This forum is for anyone with lung diseases. The severity is irrelevant. Stay with, we enjoy your posts.

K x

xoaxon profile image
xoaxon

Sometimes what I need most on an off day is a smile at some smart a--ed comment someone, maybe even you might make. If any of us is going to make progress we must first learn to smile at ourselves. Perhaps we all need to take ourselves a little less seriously; even you when your wife maybe hurts your feelings a bit with some of her wisdom.

knitter profile image
knitter

I enjoy your posts gus....they give me something else to think of apart from my breathing.

I used to book speakers for a women's group and even dreamt about the job last night as I used to get adverse comments from some members about my choice of subject.

One thing I learnt is that you can't please all the people all the time....that's life.

Caspiana profile image
Caspiana

Gus? What are you doing? You leaving is most upsetting. Don't go. xx

Get a grip, we need people like you I enjoyed trolley wars lol

tamair45_herb profile image
tamair45_herb

Don't be like that Gus. I have a habit of unintentionally saying things that might upset people too. The fact that you joined here is testament to your obvious interest in the subject. I too have COPD with heaps of other maladies but at my age you would expect that . I also get the shits with myself and tend to give them to other people so you're not alone old sausage.

Please stay and say hello to your I'm sure, loving wife.

katieoxo60 profile image
katieoxo60

Well Gus, you surprise me to say you are leaving, we are all different and express ourselves differently. Its your choice of course but you will be missed and don't feel you have to leave because of the way you express yourself. But what ever good luck for the future if you do leave.Nice to have met you.

Sadiedog12 profile image
Sadiedog12

Stay Gus.. I find your comments funny πŸ˜ƒ And I agree that the severity of your condition should not be an issue in this forum.

Lyd12 profile image
Lyd12

I don't think I would have stayed with this forum, if all it was about was illness. Just as in life, we choose our friends, and perhaps respond to some more than others. But we have a good choice on here, thank goodness we are not all the same, that would be boring. Iris x

mmzetor profile image
mmzetor

stay gus it doesn't matter what stage copd you have . we all have one thing in common the lung disease , your opinions might not be the same as others but it don't mean yours are wrong ,

Lyd12 profile image
Lyd12

By the way, I hope I haven't offended anyone with today's poem!

I am hoping one of the artists on here might be able to illustrate it for us!

piping profile image
piping

Gus there are many people on here at different stages...think we can all gain from and appreciate someone not necessarily at a worse stage. Me. .I am at stage 4 and enjoy your posts 😊

Sheilab123 profile image
Sheilab123

Gus you realise a woman (your wife) is right, a man of that integrity just cannot leave!! Severity doesn't come into it. Xx

mmzetor profile image
mmzetorβ€’ in reply toSheilab123

I thought what a silly thing to admit too . I never admit dawn could be right and its only a could be ,

Magpuss profile image
Magpussβ€’ in reply tommzetor

I think we might have guessed that mmπŸ˜€πŸ˜€

Magpuss profile image
Magpussβ€’ in reply toSheilab123

Quite right Sheilab! We all need a little more to talk about than lung 'complaints' - especially when there's so much more we could complain about. πŸ˜…πŸ˜…

Bevvy profile image
Bevvy

See no reason for you to go?! If I am feeling low I can always avoid your post.... but on the whole I enjoy them. We have many different characters on here and you are just one of them. It is a choice which posts to read.

Hope you stay but all the best to you if we don't convince you to.

Tee1008 profile image
Tee1008

We need the variety, Gus...

I haven't been upset by your posts.

Tatters profile image
Tatters

At least you have had the 'guts' so say sorry, not many people ever say that. I have coped pretty well up to now with COPD and other problems, but some days I get down so you have to think of people that are on an 'off day'. I can't see a reason for you to leave, you now know what you did wrong and hopefully it wont happen again, if it did I would be one of the first to object. Have a good day, Tatters.

velvet55 profile image
velvet55

Hello Gus

The people on here who are " really ill " are some of the strongest, bravest , funniest people l have every had the privilege to know, and it would take more than your posts to upset them.

β€’ in reply tovelvet55

velvet55 Yes, most certainly. They are bigger than that, every one.

hufferpuffer profile image
hufferpuffer

Please don't go Gus you ole salt !πŸ˜€ I thnk you are good fun and just what we need, the severity of your copd is irrelevant, we're all in the same boat!😁 xxx

CELAT06 profile image
CELAT06

No no no, Gus, I love your posts, provocative, why not ? Gives us something to think about. I'm sure most on here will feel the same . Wait for the reaction and you will see. Take care. Christine. X

sibkev profile image
sibkev

sometimes lighting peaples day is just what is needed so stay post and make me smile

guytane profile image
guytane

I have had it over 4 years mild with no change its not all doom and gloom theirs lots things you can do to beat it you tube lots great ideas on it breathing exercises etc

Damon1864 profile image
Damon1864Volunteer

please font go, we like reading your posts. The site wouldn't be the same without you. Please reconsider guys😊 xxx

sassy59 profile image
sassy59

Look gus can l be honest with you? You're crazy and make us laugh sometimes and think too so what's wrong with that.

I have an odd sense of humour sometimes and your posts often fit with that so why not keep posting!

I am a carer so need cheering up at times. Just stay. XxπŸ‘πŸ»πŸ˜‰πŸ˜€

have I missed something. .your posts are welcome. ..and as far as am concerned look forward to them...

someone has already said that we need a difference in posts that gets people talking. ..and i think your posts do that....you can't get them all to please all....

if you stay then be prepared for a bit of stick every now and then....πŸ˜†

how good your condition is...is fine with me also...

Andy.

Nanny1086 profile image
Nanny1086

It really isn't about who is the sickest ! On here ,it's more about connecting with people who have the same condition in various stages ,who can offer advise ,share their experiences or just make a comment or share a story or photograph that will brighten up someone's day ,so ,,,,,please stay

DesertDonna52 profile image
DesertDonna52

Gus, please don't go. I am a big one for saying derogatory things. Just apologize and move on. Please don't leave!

Tilly2402 profile image
Tilly2402

Gus don't leave. You make people smile.

Dmactds profile image
Dmactds

Gus..., as you can see from the other posts..., all 29 of them at last count, your "wifey" couldn't be more wrong..., as "wifeys" often are...; stay/go do whatever suits you but know that in this group, you'll be missed and that there is no general "call" for your departure.

Hi gus, u dont have to leave, everybody is entitled to an opinion urs included, sense of humours will differ, , but that's what makes u all different. Initially it's only the lung condition itself that brings us to forums like this, that is the one thing we have in common, once we've joined personalities will come out in regards to posts. If u have offended someone then so be it, there will be 101 that u haven't, aslong as its not personal or aimed at an individual then it is always open to debate, u can't please everyone. People can either skip ur posts, read and not reply, comment their opinion in agreement or not, each to their own. Just accept and move on, but plz don't feel the need to leave πŸ˜œπŸ˜‹πŸ™„πŸ˜³πŸ˜Š xx Sonia xx

mrsmummy profile image
mrsmummy

Hi gustavski . Joining and fitting in with an established forum is not always easy but it is always sad when a member chooses to leave, unless they were here just to 'flame' and cause trouble (which happens occasionally but thankfully not often) and I am sure you do not fit into this category.

Members have their opinions on various subjects and will often share them. We will never have a situation where every member agrees so sometimes a different and opposing opinion will be presented. If you do not agree with it you are perfectly entitled to say so. The tricky bit is in how it is said. So, here is some advice for all members.

The Guidelines remind us that "the aim of this community is to provide a supportive, informative and friendly" place and that "participation in the site should be with respect, honesty and in the spirit of supporting and learning from your fellow users." We are also reminded "that the site is not a forum to 'name and shame' or to create negative feedback on individuals. There will be a β€œzero tolerance” approach to posts containing negative references to individuals." To maintain the community atmosphere this means we ignore what we don't like or we explain our different view without attacking the person holding the opposing view and if we think we are the one under attack we use the report button rather than retaliating.

Let's keep it nice. :)

jjnanna profile image
jjnanna

Oh don't be a silly billy I don't come on here very often but when I do I see people with all sorts of illnesses that I have never heard of and hopefully will never get .... I have 1 lung, copd, collitis osteo-arthritis, tinitus ... erm I think that is all ...oh and heart failure.... Well up until Feb I was working with my sister in her cleaning company so even with this my tolerance to everything was probably higher than some others but I am just a 'carry on person' Only being told about the heart failure scupppering my chances of a new hip has made me give up working ....oh and the oxygen lead that I have to have 15/20 hours a day. But if I can come on now and again and have a laugh with somebody then that is great for me and them so don't go you contribute a lot and some of us need that xxxxxxx

PastMeBest profile image
PastMeBest

Hi Gus, I'm not very well at the moment and it is taking a lot for me to come on here and answer your post.

From the number of replies you have received I am assuming that plenty of people will be asking you to stay on the forum but I haven't read any of their replies as I don't want to be influenced by anything they say.

I am sure that the variety of posts that you write have been enjoyed by most of the people who read them. As you say yourself, some of the things you write about are a bit provocative but from reading your posts I also know that no offence is meant. Possibly the way it is worded can make it come across in a different way than you mean it to. One of your posts that I answered last week was taken off but I know that nothing offensive was meant by it. I am sure it was explained to you why it was removed. I have had one of my posts edited which I found upsetting at the time but it is done to keep harmony on the forum and I have learned from it.

You say that your wife is smarter than yourself so why don't you let her read your posts before actually posting them to see what she thinks. She may see things in a different light and suggest a slight change so that what you write comes across as you mean it to.

There is no reason for you to leave the forum if you give a little extra thought not to what you write but how you write it. Guidance from your wife may make that difference.

I have enjoyed reading your posts. They generate a lot of interest and if you left I for one would miss reading them.

If you feel the need to talk then you have my permission to PM me.

Have a good think before deciding what to do.

Regards. John

PS: If they can put up with me on here they can put up with anyone. πŸ˜³πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

Caspiana profile image
Caspianaβ€’ in reply toPastMeBest

Well said John!! πŸ’œ

hufferpuffer profile image
hufferpufferβ€’ in reply toPastMeBest

Sorry to hear you're not at your best John, sending get well hugs n x's πŸ˜‰πŸ€’πŸ™ƒπŸ˜·πŸ€•πŸ˜’πŸ™†πŸ‘πŸ’‹πŸ’‹

knitter profile image
knitterβ€’ in reply toPastMeBest

To Past me Best....get well soon wishes .

Have you managed to read Vashtis Saturday post.....there was mention of sheep.

Take care

Matrix profile image
Matrix

Do you really have to leave , I have seen you around on here , but it's always seemed OK to me . If you feel you may have hurt / offended anyone then you can adjust the way you write . I don't think you have to go , stay and work through it , I know you will feel better in the end and you need this site as much. as anyone . πŸ˜‡

Nottobad profile image
Nottobad

Hi gus I see nothing wrong with your posts. If some one dosnt agree with what you say they don't need to answer it. There is no reason why you should leave. Please don't go.

Christine-sa profile image
Christine-sa

Hi Gus - I wouldn't normally advocate ignoring what one's spouse says... but in this case, Please Do!! We would miss your merry posts!

doubledock profile image
doubledock

Gus if we were all the same the world would be a boring place.As you can see that you are wanted on this sight and you have made some people laugh and by the looks off things you have made some friends.

Please think about staying,what ever your health conditions are.

Kind regards

Sharon πŸ„πŸ–πŸšœ

Take care x

jimmy1c profile image
jimmy1c

gustavski I for one enjoy reading ur posts and u certainly get people going. The early music post being a good example

Jimmy

Lilac22407 profile image
Lilac22407

I am new here and live your post. Please stay. My doc say I am mild for emphazema but I feel moderate. Lung capacity at 75%. . We are all different and at different stages. We are all needed to help on another. Please reconsider Gus.

Brooke60 profile image
Brooke60

Please stay. I am a expert at upsetting folk. This forum is great. xx

scorpiolass profile image
scorpiolass

Have I missed something Gus? I haven't been upset by your posts. I have enjoyed many of them.

We all have or care for someone who has lung problems. Apart from that similarity we are all different. Someone said, you are you & I am me & that is ok. I hope you will reconsider & stay please. Love Margaret x

grannyk3 profile image
grannyk3

Hi Gus, I appreciate your wife's thoughtfulness for our feelings. 😊 I am one of those with severe emphysema and I can honestly say that I have never been offended by any of your posts. You have a knack for getting people talking and that's what forums are for. Obviously you can see that you're a valued member here, hopefully you'll stay on.

grannyk3 🌹

Tugun profile image
Tugun

Hi Gus,

Because of the great comments, I went back and read a few of your posts. They were fun and we all need a little fun in our day!

Twoose profile image
Twoose

Sometimes I think that all mails should be prefaced with some sort of warning. Just because we are on this forum it does not mean that we are all the same we are not. Some of us like cricket some do not, (I don't understand them and feel a little sorry for them but that leaves more room for me so it's ok) some have emphysema some do not. We are all different and that is ok.

Not all of the people on this forum actually send/write posts, but that does not mean that they do not learn something from them or enjoy them. If you really want to leave then sorry to see you go, but don't leave just because some people are different and may not be as open minded as others.

It is good to hear from someone who is not

In as bad health as some of the others

onamission profile image
onamission

Hi Gus it's not often I agree with Mr M but on this occasion I do please stay with us we all support each other we have a good laugh

Sherry44 profile image
Sherry44

Why should you go Gus? This site is for you and me and everyone else who is suffering from lung disease. The camaraderie is great, so please stay with us.

Dragonmum profile image
Dragonmum

Just stop making excuses for being too lazy to post!!!!! Get back here and make my day.

Nicholatracy profile image
Nicholatracy

Stay!

JP1954 profile image
JP1954

Well all has been said Gus. Shame if you decide to go. You remind me a lot of my husband who also is mild at the moment, hopefully will stay that way please God. But he also is a dab hand of casting the line and see what he can reel in. I love that kind of banter others may not. We are all different, thank the Lord. Keep letting rip with your comments, especially now that the darker nights are drawing in . By the way are you dressing for Halloween or going as yourself!

JP. Only joking

Magpuss profile image
Magpuss

So long? Where are you going - why are you going? 55 replies to your post caught my eye - haven't read all of them yet but so far, they all seem to be asking the same question. Yes you're somewhat provocative at times but you're entitled to your opinions, and (I think) we're entitled to challenge them - or better still (tongue in cheek here) to try and change them😁😁 You shouldn't go, it makes a change to be challenged by non health or family related matters and it exercises the grey matter! Think again young man!

punkyb profile image
punkyb

Tell your wife many of us are in the same state as you. ;) We need each other.

helingmic profile image
helingmic

Dear gus, I n health and in sickness, you are here to stay. You encourage us. Moreover you might tell us wht you do to keep so healthy. There's no shame in feeling good.

Mic

SquirrelsHolt profile image
SquirrelsHolt

Gus as I'm typing this reply I see you've had 59 replies(and loads and loads of people "liking" these replies), so don't leave. Read what people have written before you call it a day,please.

rduffy profile image
rduffy

Gus, I'm relatively new to this forum and I'm in a similar situation to yours. I have COPD but I'm still relatively healthy. I've been hesitant to post things for precisely the reason your wife pointed out--since I'm not nearly as ill as many of the folks on this forum I'm afraid that my comments and complaints will come off as offensive, or fall into the "what does he have to complain about" category. But as many other folks have pointed out, we're all in different places on the same spectrum. Therefore nobody's experiences or comments are more valid or invalid than anyone else's. There's a lot of my current life experience I'd like to share: my growing dependence on supplemental oxygen, coping with decreasing lung function, dealing with the emotional ramifications of an increasing inability to do things I used to do, how I deal with people at work, on the street, in my everyday encounters, strategies for coughing up phlegm every day without scaring young children and animals. There's a lot to having COPD and a lot we can offer each other in the way of perspective, encouragement, compassion, advice and good humor. So even though I'm not a regular reader of your posts, please give your exit a second thought. You can see you have a lot of followers here and a lot of people who will miss sharing your thoughts and comments if you go. If you step on someone's toes once in awhile--guess what? So do we all. We just apologize and move on. Hope you'll do the same and keep writing.

gustavski profile image
gustavskiβ€’ in reply torduffy

Thanks for that rduffy. I know what oxygen is and that some people use it to ease their breathing. But what is supplemental oxygen?

The reason I ask is because I am wondering what is in store for me further down the line.

gus

rduffy profile image
rduffyβ€’ in reply togustavski

Hi Gus,

I don't know if you're going to have the same experience I'm having, but for me supplemental oxygen is a small portable O2 concentrator that the doc gave me to use while exercising. I've been exercising regularly for over ten years now (generally 30-40 min at the gym 3-4 times a week) but in the last year or so when I exercised my blood oxygen levels were dropping like my Giants in the National League West. (If you haven't noticed, I'm from the States, so for me there's nothing in life that can't be expressed with a baseball metaphor.) Anyway, it's like a 7-8 pound battery powered boombox in a handy little backpack and I dial it up to 3 liters a minute and that manages to keep my blood sats up around 90% more or less while I'm on the exercise bike. (It was dropping down into the low 80's, even the high 70's on a particularly good day.)

I also use the box at home when I'm particularly short of breath, like after I've had a good bout of coughing and airway clearance or when the air is particularly hot and smoky (I live in California). I've even started bringing it with me when I go out and about and expect to do a fair amount of walking, like I did today. It works pretty well. My biggest issue is the social aspect of getting used to having people see me with the cannula up my nose. It's OK with family and close friends, but it bugs the hell out of me to be wearing it when I run into people I don't know that well or haven't seen in awhile. Not that I'm ashamed of it. There's no shame in having to wear this. This is an accommodation that I need, through no fault of my own. It just is. But what I object to is having to share my private health information with everyone. I'm just not used to leading with "Hi, I'm Bob, I've got bronchiectasis. How are you?" I know, I know, if my lung function continues to slide like my damn Giants then I may well get to where I have to wear a cannula 24/7, and I'm not going to become a recluse when and if that happens. I recognize sometimes our health condition gets to the point where we have to wear it like a sign on our foreheads for all the world to see. But I'm just not there yet. I may have to be dragged to that point kicking and screaming. We'll see.

So that's a brief rundown of my experience with supplemental O2 to date. Almost but not quite as effective as two fingers of single malt at the end of the day. But I can't get the insurance to pay for the Scotch.

gustavski profile image
gustavskiβ€’ in reply torduffy

Hi Rd.

No I didn't know you lived in the States. My brother does too.

He has been there well over 50 years now and is American as mothers apple pie. He as settled down in PA.

But tell me what is Californian doing supporting the NY Giants?

gus

rduffy profile image
rduffyβ€’ in reply togustavski

New York Giants?!? No my friend, the San Francisco Giants. My Giants left New York in 1958. You must be referring to that American football team that plays in New Jersey. I'm one of those uncommon Yanks who doesn't really care all that much for football. I'll watch a game now and then and I follow the season but I don't sacrifice my Sundays to watching six hours of pickup truck and light beer commercials--I mean football broadcasts. No, for me baseball is the true American pastime. Yes, it can be mystifying and frustratingly slow but it's the only professional sport to my knowledge to have inspired a literature, and there's nothing like having your favorite team slowly rip your heart out over an entire summer to make you forget your COPD. At least it works that way for me! 8-)

gustavski profile image
gustavskiβ€’ in reply torduffy

G'day r

Well to be quite frank with you I know very little about what the Americans call football and we here in the land of the cucumber sandwiches call soccer. It seems to me to be a form of Rugby plus knee pads, shoulder pads, helmets and crotch protectors. I believe it is called the Grid Iron.

Baseball.. now there is a sport I think I could get fond of. It seems to me to be a glamorous version of rounders that I played as a child. That seems to have gone out of fashion. We all played in the street then. No chance of doing that now with Britain having the highest density of cars for the roads in Europe.

I think I started to like baseball when Joe DiMaggio married MM.

Anyway.........play ball

gus

Bettz profile image
Bettz

Gus we need things to think about other than our health - please don't go - When I read jokes on here I often share them with a friend. Just like we share humor, we also share bad news. We need both.

mason profile image
mason

please stay with us gus you make our days bearable you are a lovely man .

gustavski profile image
gustavskiβ€’ in reply tomason

Hey mason.

you are so right.... only kidding.

Don't tell my wife though I think she may disagree.

gus

mason profile image
mason

hi gus you had us going there please tell your lovely wife that you brighten our days and we would be lost without you ,

gustavski profile image
gustavskiβ€’ in reply tomason

come on is this some kind of joke!!

gus

mason profile image
masonβ€’ in reply togustavski

no.

gustavski profile image
gustavskiβ€’ in reply tomason

I'm glad you can't see me blushing

gus

mason profile image
mason

hi gus we all have diferant illnesses to cope with and we are here for each other tell you wife she is a lovely lady but you dont upset us we want you to stay take care ,

eastridingbigden profile image
eastridingbigden

hey Gus can you please just go, all these friends begging asking you to stay is bringing tears to my eyes and I just can't take anymore you know what I mean ? but you can stay if you realy want too

gustavski profile image
gustavskiβ€’ in reply toeastridingbigden

Well I didn't ask anyone to ask me to come back.

Quite frankly it was rather embarrassing.

But surely you should make your appeal to them not me.

I neither wrote them nor solicited them.

gus

Not what you're looking for?

You may also like...

My amazing wife and our collie

My wife and I have this beautiful but crazy Collie and we have been working hard to train her to...
Phil40 profile image
β€’

my dear wife diane

sorry to have to inform you all but diane passed away on friday 1st may in the morning in the...
tigerhouse profile image
β€’

My Wife the home wrecker!

I mean in the literal sense. Of late I am hearing this " Oh this has fell off" or "Its not...
Offcut profile image
β€’

Request for research participants: Adapting self-help to meet the needs of people who also have physical health problems

Hi Everybody We have agreed to put details of the following study on the Community - if you...
β€’

Update on my wife.

Hey folks. I hope everyone is well. I have not had too much time to come on and write, so...
Alwaysreading_46 profile image
β€’

Moderation team

See all
AsthmaandLung profile image
AsthmaandLungAdministrator
moderator_AandLUK profile image
moderator_AandLUKAdministrator
Claire_ALUK profile image
Claire_ALUKAdministrator

Content on HealthUnlocked does not replace the relationship between you and doctors or other healthcare professionals nor the advice you receive from them.

Never delay seeking advice or dialling emergency services because of something that you have read on HealthUnlocked.