Weekend Wit :) Hope you all have a go... - Lung Conditions C...

Lung Conditions Community Forum

56,325 members66,956 posts

Weekend Wit :) Hope you all have a good one :)

Plumbob profile image
7 Replies

The Second Apple

A woman ran a red traffic light and crashed into a man's car. Both of their

cars are demolished, but amazingly neither of them was hurt.

After they crawled out of their cars, the woman said; "Wow, just look at our

cars! There's nothing left, but fortunately we are unhurt.

This must be a sign from God that we should meet and be friends and live

together in peace for the rest of our days."

The man replied, "I agree with you completely. This must be a sign from

God!"

The woman continued, "And look at this, here's another miracle. My car is

completely demolished, but my bottle of 75 year old scotch didn't break.

Surely God meant for us to drink this vintage delicacy and celebrate our

good fortune."

Then she handed the bottle to the man.

The man nods his head in agreement, opened it, drank half the bottle and

then handed it back to the woman.

The woman took the bottle, immediately put the cap back on, and handed it

back to the man.

The man asks, "Aren't you having any?"

She replies, "Nah, I think I'll just wait for the police."

Adam ate the apple too!

Men will never learn!

Food for Thought

1. I changed my car horn to gunshot sounds. People move out of the way much faster now.

2. You can tell a lot about a woman's mood just by her hands. If they are holding a gun, she's probably very unhappy.

3. You know that tingly little feeling you get when you really like someone you've just met? That's common sense leaving your body.

4. I don't like making plans for the day. Because then the word "premeditated" gets thrown around in the courtroom.

5. I didn't make it to the gym today. That makes 1,500 days in a row.

6. I decided to change calling the bathroom the John and renamed it the Jim. I feel so much better saying I went to the Jim this morning.

7. Dear people who check behind shower curtains for murderers: If you find one, what's your plan?

8. Everyone has a right to be stupid. Politicians just abuse the privilege.

Plumbob

Written by
Plumbob profile image
Plumbob
To view profiles and participate in discussions please or .
7 Replies

heh heh.....some really good ones in here - thankyou Plumbob.

😂😂😂 I'm so proud of my self Bob, I go to the Jim a few times a day at least, whoop get me 😳😋😜😂 xx Sonia xx

casper99 profile image
casper99

Hahaha, loved the car horn one Plumbob, that would be hilarious - as long as it didn't happen to me, haha xx

undine profile image
undine

love them thank you xxx

onamission profile image
onamission

Hi Plumbob great to see you how are you doing ?

Plumbob profile image
Plumbob in reply toonamission

Hi Onamisssion I'm doing the best I can defying medical science and still smiling :) :D I have just celebrated another birthday (which the docs thought doubtful I would see 18 months ago). My daughter and grandson came up from wales to join in the celebrations. Hope you are doing ok ? x

onamission profile image
onamission

Congratulations Plumbob and you don't look a day over 21, these Doctors don't always get it right so carry on live life to the full family celebrations are always special.

Not what you're looking for?

You may also like...

Oh what a beautiful morning.

Yes it really is blue sky, no wind that's a relief, and the sun is shining brightly, what more can...
holly17 profile image

Weekend Wit - Weight loss plan -Enjoy Hope the cooler weather easing your breathing ?

There is an overweight guy who is watching TV. A commercial comes on for a guaranteed weight loss...
Plumbob profile image

Weekend Wit-Hope you all have a good weekend without to much discomfort

Two women had gone out for a girls night out, and had been overenthusiastic on the cocktails....
Plumbob profile image

Weekend Wit - Enjoy

A family is at the dinner table. The son asks the father, “Dad, how many kinds of boobs are there?”...
Plumbob profile image

Weekend Wit - Cooperisms part 2

Hope you all have a good weekend :) Part Two You see I'm against hunting, in fact I'm a hunt...
Plumbob profile image

Moderation team

See all
AsthmaandLung profile image
AsthmaandLungAdministrator
moderator_AandLUK profile image
moderator_AandLUKAdministrator
Claire_ALUK profile image
Claire_ALUKAdministrator

Content on HealthUnlocked does not replace the relationship between you and doctors or other healthcare professionals nor the advice you receive from them.

Never delay seeking advice or dialling emergency services because of something that you have read on HealthUnlocked.