Something we were taught right at the very beginning of nurse training was that any problems we might be experiencing outside of the wards we left behind when we went on duty.
Didn't matter if you'd crashed your car or the dog had died...when at work you put on a smiley face and never ever let outside problems intrude.
I've been thinking about that today...my Consultant is usually rather 'distant' though she does occasionally show a glimpse of humour...not often...but it's there. She's efficient though and I usually feel comfortable in her presence.
When I saw her on Tuesday she was ratty and bad-tempered...from the way she introduced a medical student who was sitting in...to the decidedly hurried way she listened to my chest and told me I was wheezing...like it was my fault and I'd done it on purpose just to annoy.
I had the list made out...for my benefit really, so as I wouldn't forget to ask her what I felt to be important questions...she left me with no time to pursue changing inhalers for instance...
Be clear that I wouldn't want her job...I'd not want to see an endless procession of people who can't breathe properly...it'd drive me demented. But she is paid well...she is entitled to the perks which come with being a Consultant...
Perhaps she was having a difficult day...maybe she had an important dinner to attend and couldn't for the life of her think what to wear...perhaps the medical students milling about all over the place irritated her...could be she was cross with Lemon Face.
The fact is that I wait six months to see her for about ten minutes...it is she who enables me to have oxygen for instance or to change the inhalers I use for others which are more effective...it is on her word that I can avail of other services offered within the hospital...time spent with the pulmonary nurse or ensuring another scan for osteoporosis for instance.
If, when I'm ushered into her inner sanctum, I feel that I'm wasting her precious time on a Tuesday afternoon when she could be doing something more interesting instead, then maybe she needs to rethink...to take a deep breath and remember we...her patients...are sad and lost and vulnerable.
We're sitting there watching the clock tick round and wondering what she'll say...is she going to blithely announce we've reached the end stage of COPD...is she going to hand us a prescription for something to make us breathe easier for a time...
My Doctor laughs and says Consultants are only one step removed from God himself and tells me to imagine her sitting on the loo with her knickers round her ankles...that makes me giggle and then I have a coughing fit...
I wish those Consultants had been taught the way we were all those years ago...leave your own personal problems at home.
That's always been a motto of mine, Vashti, and something I try to remind my kids of every now and then. jan x
I so agree - I hate the medical profession with the exception of a GP who enabled me to keep my daughter, the one who was so good with my clinical depression and the present GP who is brilliant (hope that carries on when I see him next week). In hospital last year I sent a letter of thanks to hospital. They would not notice but I only thanked the nurses. The consultants/registrars Yuk. Oh one heart chap was lovely to me and a consultant pondering over a 95 year old. Actually, was lovely tome when I was rude enough to suggest her awful symptoms were the same I experience with acid reflux. I thought I would be told to mind my own business! Could not believe it he actually said he was thinking on the same lines. My mouth just dropped so still good ones out there. Vashti - I love yr posts. Kaye.
Vashti how true, when I worked on the wards the docs/consultants could be so rude, I know there busy and pressured but they are trained and well paid to do the job, as I was in mine ( trained not well paid lol ) and would never think to speak to patients and other members of staff like they did, I even told one doctor he needed to go back to bed side manner school as there is no way he passed, in all fairness he did crack a smile. What they need to remember is they chose to do their job, we never asked to be ill, they get paid well for their title, I get slapped with the disabled label and paid pittance, now really who should be pleasant and polite out the two of us xx Sonia xx
I just remind myself that I pay their wages and keep my bum on the seat, asking the questions until I have had my money's worth. xx
This seems to be a common trait of some Cosultants.
The one I saw last time kept shushing me and did not give me the opportunity to ask any questions, so I left scratching my head.
But the one before her at the start of the year.. well, I lost the rag with him talking to me as if I was 3 years old and more or less saying " it`s your own fault for smoking "
I wound up telling him he was in the wrong profession, he should be a demolition man "
And by the way mr smarty pants, You don`t need to be a smoker to get Bronchiectasis
I think some of them keep there brains in their pants,,,
I think the long clinics probably do their heads in. Remember they have to see every single person there and that some patients could be DIFFICULT. Not us of course, with our carefully prepared lists of questions, long tales of woe cos we're not responding to their drugs or treatments , and our silent or vocal pleas to 'please do something'. Even when we know there's not a lot else they can do. Yes, to be honest, I can understand why they might be a bit grumpy in the clinic scenario but that's no consolation to us when we arrive for our precious 10 minutes. I try to be mindful of this and slide the questions in between the yes and no responses and giving the list of current medications. My last few consultations went pretty well and I think part of that was trying to be positive for at least a minute or two, before trotting out the list of complaints. At my April consultation I replied 'significantly better' to the 'how are you' question and the response was amazing. Beams and smiles from someone who is frequently grumpy So now I always start by saying I'm doing well even when I'm clearly not. It makes both of us feel better before getting down to the nitty gritty of how I'm really doing And to be fair, at my hospital they spend way more then 10 minutes with the patients.
Hopefully your consultant was just having a bad day Vasthti and will be more herself next time. Meanwhile, if your GP is good and prepared to chat and joke, that's a big bonus.
For the first time billiejean I find myself disagreeing with you. I don't think there is ever any excuse for such a lack of professionalism. They should never bring their personal problems to the clinic, or inflict their moods on us. At the clinic it's their patients who matter and nothing else. God knows they're paid enough to leave such matters at home. I remember one grumpy woman complaining to me about her stepchildren and her husband's ex - I mean, really! Grossly unprofessional. Also, I know you're being a bit tongue in cheek, but I am always completely honest with my doctors, otherwise I think it can confuse things. They might only really latch on to the first bit of what I say & not hear the next comment properly. I always greet them with a cheery smile though Robin
Life would be very boring if we all agreed with each other all of the time Robin You're right though, I am being a bit tongue in cheek. But I think it's only common sense to realise how exhausting clinics can be for the doctors running them. Of course they should always be in a good mood, 100% receptive to all of us and infinitely patient. But they are human and as flawed as the rest of us, so they don't always achieve this. Again, I was being a little bit tongue in cheek about how we, as patients, can help. But underneath the flippancy, there's a ring of truth. How your consultation goes, can at least in part, be influenced by how you play your part. A little courtesy and a positive attitude will always help. And for extra brownie points, a tiny little ego massaging goes a very long way. Before you tell them all the things that haven't worked, you could mention something that does. As in ' that new inhaler you prescribed for me was really helpful but unfortunately the .........
didn't work so well'. After that you can be brutally honest but starting on a positive note, does help set a tone of mutual cooperation rather then, 'here I am again, nothing you prescribed worked and I'm now much worse then when I saw you last time.' The cheery smile helps too
I know exactly what you mean Vashti. I feel that I'm getting under their feet or something. I have discovered more information here over the last year than from this site than from years worth of buffoons oops I mean consultants. X
You also forgot to say Vashti, that it's us, their patients, that enable her to have (I'm sure) a very comfortable lifestyle that most of us can only imagine! XX
I had to refuse to see mine. Professor Consultant a a large SW London teaching hospital which shall remain nameless (except it's now on TVs 24 hours in A&E).
1st visit a student quivering in fear in the corner, all cons comments & questions were directed to him. No eye contact with me except to look at my breasts on the way in. My daughter was beside me as a second pair of ears, normally very confident was reduced to tears at the way he treated me. I gave him one more chance, he failed so from then I refused to see him again. One of his registrars was brilliant though & sorted me out. Clearly she was not following his example so there is hope for the future. Peege x
i've learned over the years to use the 'sandwich' approach. say something very nice, say what you really want to say, then finish with something else nice. this approach has been very helpful to me.
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So now I always start by saying I'm doing well even when I'm clearly not. It makes both of us feel better before getting down to the nitty gritty of how I'm really doing 
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Pneumonia as cauae of my mums death
