It's Himself's birthday tomorrow...he'll be seventy-eight. Not that you'd know...I think he's still as fit and as active as he was when he was fifty.
We had a so-called surprise party on his fiftieth...it was awful. Honestly...truly dreadful. I'd arranged for a couple of Magicians to come you see...and a bouncy castle for the children...and all his children and my children came...and their children...we had our people then. There was T and G and K and our foster children as well...
Must have been about fifty people all told. I'd done enough food to feed them all twice over...the house was bedecked with balloons and there was plenty of booze...
The weather was brilliant...warm and sunny...
And the adult children squabbled...and their children clung to their parents legs and regarded the bouncy castle with pure horror...Himself's shouty son drank himself into some sort of oblivion...his wife threatened to go home on her own...my daughter, still in the throes of anorexia and bulimia kept dashing to the loo to throw up...all the babies worked themselves into a lather and were scarlet in the face from screaming...
Then the magicians arrived.
They were downright dreadful...the woman was very short and rather fat...she was dressed in a sort of costume which did her no favours whatsoever...her husband was tall and skinny and when he shook my hand his breath almost knocked me backwards...perfectly rank...as though he'd been chewing things long dead.
G, who was an amiable sort of bloke, was looking forward to having his face painted ...but both he and she said they weren't going to paint the adults faces...just the children's...G was much like a child and I thought it unkind for them to say that...especially after I'd explained the family dynamics to them beforehand...
Then T took all her clothes off...she was prone to doing that and we were used to it...Teresa was following her round holding out T's knickers trying to persuade her to at least put those back on...there were toddlers falling over and screeching and various daughter-in-laws were looking daggers at each other...
I finally managed to get the entire family together to watch the fire-eating...muttering just under my breath that they'd better bloody well behave for at least a few minutes...
The fire-eating was so incredibly abysmal...it was so awful that we all began to laugh...at first quietly behind our hands until we couldn't cope any longer and let rip with guffaws...
The two magicians stopped.
The chap came over and told me they'd never been so insulted in all the time they'd been entertaining...they'd never had to deal with a teenager who ran about naked...nor with people who were slow in their learning...G. dug me in the ribs at that point and said cheerfully...'I'm slow aren't I?' and he quickly followed that up with telling me T had her vest and knickers on now...
The magicians packed up their horrid costumes and their face paints...the fire eating things and the silly bell they rang every now and then...they drove away in their VW van in a huff.
The daughters-in-laws were still bitching at each other...the shouty son was in a drunken stupor on the settee...Himself's eldest son was still making a play for my daughter...T was still charging up and down the hall in her vest and knickers and the 'phone kept ringing...
Himself and I retreated to the kitchen...we shut the door firmly behind us and drank loads of wine...
Good grief Vashti your family sound incredible and you did manage to have a laugh plus lots of wine. I really hope that Himself has a great 78th birthday - it has to be better than his 50th.
Not keen on surprise parties myself. Last had one on my 60th which was ok but our grandson cried when everyone shouted "surprise", my sister had a terrible cold, mother-in-law didn't know half the people there (dementia) and I just wanted to go upstairs for a lie down. Families eh!
A surreal 50th .....Happy Birthday for Himself tomorrow
Oh dear vashti no wonder you don't like big family gatherings, that explains a lot. How awful when it was himselfs birthday and you had worked so hard and idiots spoiled it all (not talking about G or T here either).
I have never had a surprise party but on my 40th my work colleagues got me a strippogram - it was awful and so embarrassing. I hated every minute.
Hope himself and you enjoy his 78th birtiday love. x
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Oh CaL...how horrible One of by nightmares in life would be if any 'so called friends' arranged a kissogram - I'm no prude but that 'd be the pits for me! xx
Considering I have never had a party and I am 71,after your last one I don't think I will bother about missing them, at least you got to have a good few drinks,and I bet you sighed a great sigh of relief when every one had gone, much like wedding receptions never go to plan.
Many Happy Returns to Himself. I daresay he will be perfectly happy to have you all to himself. You could wrap a ribbon round yourself and present yourself to him.
Will he have a birthday cake? Jelly and ice cream?
I reckon you will have a great time, with a bottle of Jameson Irish Whiskey to share!
happy Birthday to Himself, and many happy returns of the day. My husband will be 86 in two months time and most of the time he is pretty well and has more energy than I do. Not sure if he really understands my bronchiectasis, I suppose we are all more concerned with ourselves. I notice that when he asks me how I am it is usually because he has a problem and wants to tell me about it! when I am particularly poorly he will wash up, make the tea etc. he does some ironing too, but his chief occupation is mowing the grass, I think he has become ocd about it! We struggle on and count our blessings. iris x
Lol that was a Birthday bash to remember! Happy Birthday tomorrow to Himself, may he have all that he wishes for himself!😁 🍺🍹🍷🍷🍷🍶🍻🍮🍰🍰🍰🍩🍦🍭🍫🍗🍀🌞 hugs n x's
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One of by nightmares in life would be if any 'so called friends' arranged a kissogram - I'm no prude but that 'd be the pits for me! xx
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