I was thinking over the weekend about COPD and my mild maybe moderate COPD. I was diagnosed last year before I had a hip replacement operation. I went for another opinion same result. I went through depression and could not breathe at night times - All in the head. I cried and was angry with myself and even started to hate myself for doing it to myself. I realized that my wife also have chronic Bronchitis diagnosed years ago. Then I said I was responsible for that as well and was now hopping crazy mad at myself and screamed to God that he must take me away on the operating table while they replacing my hip. He did not - the operation was a success. I even thought of leaving the highway with my bike at 270 KM/H - IT WILL BE OVER FAST.
I asked the good Lord to take it away because I've seen many miracles with my own eyes - He did not because I'm still the same walking the dog uphill but maybe a little bit better. I got angry with the Lord for not healing me as I've seen people healed with terminal cancer in one week. I screamed at Him why must I be one of the 20% smokers that got it? Why cant I be one of the 80%? And then slowly but surely started to accept that it was not in my hands.
Its now almost a year later and I learned a few things:
1) Do the best today that you can, tomorrow is promised to no one. Appreciate every day as if its your last.
2) His grace and love for me is enough
3) If I did not get it I might have died of a heart attack because I never exercised and I'm a big guy 140KG - 330lbs - I Exercise now and are loosing weight slowly but surely.
4) I would have not stopped smoking - I killed the last one when I got the phone call almost a year back which bring me back to the pending danger in 3.
5) I realized that I was selfish and egocentric and was only worried about the unholy trinity - me, my and myself. I can again cry and laugh with other people as I read here daily.
6) I care more about my children and grandchildren as I realize life is short.
7) I talk more to the Lord and he I'm hearing his voice again.
8) I learned to care about the people on this site. I laugh with them when things are better, and pray and cry with them when its bad.
9) I'm not a machine going from work to home and back anymore - I care and have feelings.
10) Maybe the most important thing I learned - We are and must accept the responsibility for our own actions because the good Lord gave us a free choice and will. What we do with that is our own choice but I also now understand what He meant when He said "What does it help if we win the whole world but got no love and caring"
Maybe - Just maybe it was a good thing - I'm alive!!!! and decided to live it as full as I possibly can - His grace is enough.
Best exercise with a lung condition 
Many thanks Lung conditions Forum
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