Back in April 2009 I was in remission from lung cancer and in order to get my life back into some semblance of normality I was about to have another battle to face, Emphysema!
As a child I had suffered from Asthma so I was more than aware of what it was like to be short of breath.
Foolish me, I had no idea of what I was going to have to go through.
I had already taken the first step in 1999 when I gave up smoking and to this day I am sure that it is the move that saved my life.
A few days ago I came out of hospital having had a very close call with my maker, a hospital visit where it appeared that every family member had been at my bedside watching over me.
Never at any one time in my life had I felt the warmth of so much love.
Many comments have followed me since then from Doctor’s and Nurse’s alike, ‘Miracle of modern science,’ or ‘You shouldn’t be here,’ and similar musings, but be it as it may, I am still here and more than ready to fight another day.
We can often lose hope for a while, but a kind gesture from a friend or loved one can give us the faith to look forward again.
The key to our life is in living it to the best of our ability if we hit a rough patch we have to get over it and carry on for the sake of our families.
Many years ago I wrote 'Fear knocked at the door, Faith opened it and there was no one there.'
It is on dull, grey mornings that the fear is mostly felt, then the sun comes out and the world looks good again.
It is hard to explain the frustration of being so short of breath, you can barely make it to the bathroom and back, the difficulties of drying after a shower, rummaging in a desk drawer for an envelope, or the dependency of a plastic tube that you wear in your nose and drag behind you everywhere you go.
It’s going to take a long time before I’m going to be my usual self, in fact I never will be, but I still have that hunger to see the first flowers of spring and feel the warmth of a summer sun.
So to all of you that think that your life has ended because of your illness have faith, if this Octogenarian has been able to kick start his life back together again just think what you younger ones can do.
Allan.
Written by
eightyplus
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Yer theres a lot more people that have got to live in countys wear death war hunger being killed every day and have nuffink rong with them thay crack on with it part life so we are ill but dont have there lifes so we lucky really so we just have take one day at time do best we can to live for as long as we can do a
What a lovely, warm message Allan. My heart goes out to you for all you've gone through - and also my admiration for the inspiration you give to others. May you see many beautiful flowers unfold for a long time to come ~ Lovelight xxx
"Oh Alan....What Beautiful hope and words you write..yes Life as still so much to offer us. and soon as you say, the first of the spring flowers are due with us any day soon.... like you also say Alan, So long as we have the hunger. then life can only get better.,thanking you for sharing this Beautiful thought with us.. have whats left of today, a relaxing and peaceful one...Megan."
And just when I needed them, I've been very down lately and feeling very sorry for myself. I too have a huge family that love me, I should be counting my blessing.
I love your wonderful way with words eightyplus, I was also wondering yesterday why we haven't seen you on here for a while and suspected you could be hospitalised.
Well done for defying the odds. xx
Oh Allan what a lovely post and I am so sorry you have been so poorly. What a terrible time you have been through and are going through. I really do hope you are feeling a bit better soon. Take care and lots of love and hugs. xx
A lovely post Allan and a inspirational one. It is so good to see you posting again. I know too well the inability to dry off after a shower, being tethered to oxygen...making it to the bathroom while gasping... You made me think. and weigh up my priorities and yes life can still be sweet. Thank you Allan. Sending all best wishes to you. Sara x
What a wonderful spirit you have and it is that spirit that will carry you through, i am filled with admiration for you and your amazing courage. God Bless You xx
Thank you all for your good wishes and must admit that I feel pretty good while I am at rest, but not so clever if I try moving around.
I read through the posts here and see many people suffering so much more than I am and honestly don't know where they find the courage to go on. They and my family are the ones that I look up to and give me the stamina to continue this never ending battle.
Perhaps we haven't the best of lives but we do have a life.
Me? Well I will settle for that life, after all the alternative would be rather cold and lonely. not somewhere that I would want to be.
Allan - you are an inspiration. Thank you for your post. Off to kick the husband!!!! Take good care of yourself, lots of love TAD xx
What a lovely uplifting post, thank you so much. Xx
Thank you for a really great post! I think that as long as you have faith, support, positive thinking or any other combination, it gives you the wherewithal to fight and win your battles.
I'm about to go for a shower with my oxygen as company. I sit on the edge of the bath wrapped in a towelling robe, and use a smaller towel to dry my arms and my feet. By the time I have done that the rest of me is dry!
Your post is inspirational, and I, like you, come on here and get more inspiration from people like you and all those worse off than myself.
Lolly. x
This was so lovely Allan...such beautiful thoughts and words xxxx
Thank you Allan, have been to the same place as you but have had five weeks at home with my wonderful family friends and carers looking after me. I have another infection now and will give it my best to get over it. I know I don't write much to everyone but I do read about you all think you are all amazing. Love and hugs to you all Fran(akaro45)xx
Take care Fran, having the love of family and friends is paramount for our well being.
Sorry you are unwell, just take it as easy as possible and use any strength that you can muster to beat this evil illness, rest well and awaken to a better morrow.
Thank you Allan for your inspiring words and it serves to remind me that I am not my illness, nor my body but myself is a soul/spirit on a journey and the body was but a vehicle I am borrowing along the way. Thank you for renewing my hope.
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