My dad suffers with COPD, end stage- very weak- loads of hospital admissions, used niv machine 4 times, what are the end signs?

[Cleee]

He is so weak, terrible mood and aggressive. He thinks everyone is against him and is so negative!!! What to expect at the very end stage? Consultant said he will not see the summer?

[Puffthemagicdragon]

I'm very sorry to hear about your dad. This illness is so individual it's hard to pinpoint signs. I've been diagnosed Stage 4 since I first got diagnosed three years ago and things haven't really changed much. I had a very bad episode recently but that's the only one since the diagnosis. I get around reasonably ok. May I ask how old he is ?

[Suzy6]

Sorry I can't help Cleee I'm severe. I try not to think that far ahead. You have my prayers and thoughts. Take care. Can you contact a Hospice they might have experience of this and possibly offer some help.

[katieoxo60]

Firstly Cleee may I say it is sad to hear of your news about your father. Take care of yourself as you will need all the strength you can get for the coming months. I would suggest you contact macmillan nursing who give all kinds of help in such cases including moral support for families and may be able to suggest who to contact in your area. Here we have a local hospice who give back up support and respite care, plus control of symptoms advice. Aggression can be a response to a bad prognosis but is quite normal not too good for those close to the sick person however, My thoughts go with you and hope you get some help for him straight away now you have the consultants opinion, every best wishx

[Hidden]

Oh dear I am very sorry to hear about your Dad. Perhaps a call to the BLF helpline (click on the red balloon) - the nurses might be able to give you some practical advise. Take care, TAD xx

[peege]

I'm very very sorry to hear your news. Having been through similar myself I understand how hard it can be caring for someone difficult & how heartbreaking.

A good idea from Katie to contact the Macmillan Nurses. They will help coordinate his care at each stage along with contacting & liaising with the local hospice or nursing home.

I wish you all the best. Peeg

[Cleee]

Thank you all so much for your caring words. St David's are involved and he will be receiving community health care soon, it has just been confirmed. I asked a consultant and on his life expectancy, although she said she didn't have a crystal ball, she didn't think he would be here for the summer months. He is becoming worse, eating and even going to the toilet can lead him into an attack of breathlessness and he has a nebuliser. I just don't know when it's going to happen I'm afraid to leave him incase anything happens, worried at every phone call. What are the signs? How will I know when he's going to die? Thanks

[Hidden in reply to Cleee]

no 1 has a crystal ball,its how longs a piece of string,take each day as it comes, just be there for your dad,caring, loving, and patience,just being there your dad will no, my thoughts and good wishes for your dad and you and the rest of the family, each day is a gift, treasure them ,keep coming on for support as you will get it, wishing you all I can and more,love twicexxx

[Sister321]

Hi may I offer you my support. Try to make a plan of your dad's wishes and what you both want. Do you want to nurse your dad at home through support from your palliative care team. Ie district nurses or McMillan nurses. Ask them for advice and support. Perhaps your dad is agitated and it shows as aggressive behaviour, there is medication that will relieve his agitation and will also help his breathlessness.

No one knows when end of life will come but things to look out for.

He will go off his food , he may not even want to have oral fluids, he may stop taking his medication. He will sleep a lot . As long as he is comfortable and you are able to cope.

The care team should treat symptoms as they arise ie nausea panic attacks breathlessness, constipation, agitation or aggression. You are doing a great job but don't forget to ask for all the help that you and your dad need. The care team should be able to give you all the help and advice that you need.don't be afraid to ask you both deserve all the help that you need. My thoughts are with you .

Sister321

[Lotsofquestions]

We were only told that dad was end stage a few weeks before be died. He deteriorated really quickly. Hospital staff could not believe how quickly his mobility went. He too had moments of aggression but I would say it was more frustration, he just couldn't handle being dependent on us. In his final weeks he struggled to even move from bed to bathroom without severe breathlessness. He became increasingly sleepy and generally lost interest in everything. Try to be positive and enjoy what time you have with him. Spend as much time as you can with him but also make sure the medical staff are doing everything they can for him. Keep asking questions. I was still fighting for him right up to the end and he slipped away so peacefully at the end. Thinking of you x