We are losing a lot of good members, What's going on?
Tony 
Why is everybody leaving, am I missin... - Lung Conditions C...
Why is everybody leaving, am I missing something?. 'psorias' has just become the latest on the leavers list.
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dall05
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45 Replies
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No idea. I'm getting used to the new layout. Maybe some can't ?
I think too much bickering between certain people went on and things just got silly xx
I don't know either but it is a great shame. The new site has taken a bit of getting used to and some things are a bit frustrating e.g. I would agree with KOTCs comment about the fact that not being able to see a list of all members is a bit of a nuisance, but there are quite a few new people joining and everyone I have encountered is just trying to help everyone else and support each other where possible. Let's hope they will give it another try very soon. 
A few of them mentioned being restricted for a while - and not liking it. Maybe they will return when things have settled down a little.
Hi Tony, I don't think it's the new set up if I can work it out it cant be that hard, it's all to do with people who are not happy with posts which probably had nothing to do with them in the first place, And the annoying thing is they are still here and we have lost a lot of good friends they should come back and do what they do best and that is to help and support the new people who come onto this page unsure how to handle certain diagnoses or just to ask a question, Matt
in reply to mattcass
I totally agree with this, mattcass. It is such a shame about the number of good people that have left.
yes there are nice people leaving sadly missed but i cannot see why, has i have not noticed anything wrong here on this site has up to yet anyway
I hope you are right stitch as some lovely people have left. I find it very upsetting that poorly people are no longer here supporting and being supported. We are all reduced by a reduction in quality. Alison
I am sorry to see anyone leave, I have sent PM welcome messages to 60 newbies but would still like to contact other members, if I could find a list of names.
KOTC
Your daily tonic
in reply to KingoftheCocktails
You can PM me anytime, King!!!! smiley
I suppose they must be leaving because they don't like it any more ..... for one reason or another. It's their choice, I cannot imagine the moderators would allow anyone to be bullied or harassed into leaving...... especially after the dreadful things about the young girl on ask.fm. I imagine all reputable chat/forum sites/communities are having to tighten up....its quite a responsibility for the moderators I imagine...pity there are still sites where this does not happen, it shouldn't be allowed
in reply to
I would imagine that recent events have been a wake up call to a number of forum administrators, Ripley. They probably have to have a zero tolerance attitude to any form of bullying or harassment to protect themselves against any suggestion they had allowed it to happen. If you suffer from anxiety or depression it wouldn't take much to really distress you.
The problem with sites where people can hide by using false names (and this is one) is that unfortunately people can behave in an unpleasant way without anyone really having any way of exposing them. Moderators can do a good job but they can also exacerbate problems by reacting re actively rather than pro actively.
in reply to jandan
Hi Jandan,
One of the problems with people using multiple names is how do we know who to trust? How do we know that a conversation hasn't got a number of contributions from the same person under different guises. How do we know that what someone says about another member is true and not just personal spite. How do we know people don't leave and come back under a different name? Unless we know them personally we don't.
The only thing I know I can do is to trust my instincts, sometimes I may make a mistake but so what? I wouldn't PM someone to advise them to avoid another member because they're a troublemaker because I don't agree with what they said. We all have to make up our own minds by what they say on here and how they say it.
It must be a tough job being a moderator, but if people can agree to disagree then I'm sure it'll be a lot easier for them.
jandan in reply to
Not sure whether you agree with me or not as your reply refers to multiple names which I hadn't mentioned just Avatar names/Real names . Also I don't know anything about PM's because they are just that Personal Messages so I don't understand that part of your post - sorry.
in reply to jandan
Hi Again, I was agreeing with you.
However, I think the only one's who really need to know our true identities is the HU/BLF.
I live in a relatively small community and in the past I have shared things on this site that I wouldn't necessarily want everyone in the world to know .. not just about me, but my family too.
(The PM reference was personal, because I was sent one. I was just trying to emphasise a point - even if I did do it rather clumsily).
jandan in reply to
Thanks for clarifying I am afraid I am a bit sensitive just lately about certain things. I don't necessarily mean all of our real names but just the first names I have said before I get so confused especially when some Avatar names are so cryptic you don't even know whether you are talking to a man or a woman. 
yes, it's a shame... miss the information and experience of several of those who left the site. ah well, we have lots of great members here still so let's all make the most of it. x
peege in reply to
Yes,agree with you Julie, lets make the most of it - & hope that the lovely ones will come back one day after a break. xx
It is a bit strange members are leaving when the site seems to have settled and is now pretty much rid of teething problems. It makes me sad when people leave who have so much to offer.
Fairyfootsteps leaving upset me because she knew so much about bronchiectasis and was very generous with her support to others. She was the only non cf bronch I know who went on the Bronchitol trial and is still prescribed it. She left before the site changed and it was purely because of the constant pointless bickering at that time, even though she was not involved in any of it. Luckily we are still in touch.
Hopefully things will settle down both with the site and its lovely members.
love cx
in reply to cofdrop-UK
Hi Cofdrop
it is mystery, I haven't read a single unkind comment for a very long time, I think the moderators have stamped it out, so why people should be leaving recently cannot be because of bickering etc. I guess they have just decided to move on or their circumstances have changed
Beth
newlands in reply to
People can say unkind thing s too people and then delete the post just as quick
in reply to newlands
True I'd not thought of that, but if they did it a lot, I reckon the moderators would do something, if lots of people complained, and on sites like this administrators can, I think, access deleted comments, just as deleting stuff on your pc does not mean its not actually there somewhere...not something I know a lot about mind.
in reply to
Maybe that's what's happened in some cases?
in reply to
who knows....
in the end we just have to move I suppose, I imagine they can always rejoin if they change their minds
ah, I remember FF very well. She/he was so supportive when I joined 6 months ago. I still have the PM's!
Please pass on my best wishes to her/him & that she/he is missed xx
I agree with everything else you say cofdrop. xxx peg
That is very sweet of you peeg and I most certainly will pass on your good wishes. Hopefully she might even return one day which would be lovely. love cx
Please pass my best wishes on too, cofdrop. Thanks. x
Will do hun cx
Hi there, I only joined the BLF site a couple of months ago and I must say I was not impressed with all the bickering that was going on, I actually stated that I did not know if I would come back again. However I settled down and thought about it and realised that I was missing out. Its great to talk to people with the same problems as yourself, its great chatting and finding out about others. I have been back quite a few times now and after being prescribed new tablets by my Respiratory consultant, which are German and had no instructions, I came on and posted a question about them. That was 2 or 3 days ago and I am still getting replies. I have been overwhelmed by people giving me advice and their reactions, I couldn't believe it. People here are so helpful and that is what the site is all about isn't it? I certainly will be coming back even though it's not everyday.
Cheryl
you're absolutely right Cheryl. So glad you hung on.
Also, dozens of people would have read your post and all the answers it received with great interest. Many of us are still learning all the best xx
I hope that everyone will read these posts, so much sense and friendliness is available. It is a shame that a lot of people have left, but hopefully, this site will settle down and enjoy the helpful companionship that used to exist. I cant see the point of people coming back under new names. Come back as themselves, they would be welcome. xx
Sometimes it does matter whether it is a male or female and it has nothing to do with stereotyping it has to do with discretion
Too true Janet, I'm sure I've mistakenly sent kisses to a few Men to my embarrassment.
Tony
Not sure about your response Stitch. You're not supposed to discrimate by gender. But there again you could be in trouble for sexual harassment by kissing anyone. This PC world of ours can be very confusing.
xx
A lot of people became disillusioned when the moderators backed those who were posting inflammatory blogs and remarks and stirring it up. The ones who weren't were the ones who were punished. I am still in touch with quite a few of the leavers and this is what they say time and time again. They have lost faith in the mods and the site. After one of my posts was 'highjacked' I now think very carefully before I post anything. Certainly I will never post again about my mother dying or changing to ESA from JSA or anything else that could encourage any more aggro. Even though the support I got from most of you was fantastic, I won't take the chance on it any more. If I need support now I pm instead.
Bev x
Ps And I always sign my blogs with my name and a x. I will continue to do that.
dall05 in reply to
Yes I can see that would be very frustrating when you are punished unfairly. Hopefully the mods are building up a picture of the repeat trouble makers and will sort it out soon. I like to think that I am a fairly good judge of character and there are a few who seem to jump at the chance of an argument. I try and avoid them if possible.
Tony x
sassy59 in reply to
Well done Bev.You and a few others (Jandan, Stitch, Libby7827,Libbygood, Berwick, Toci and KOTC) make me want to stay on this great site and I will continue to do so because I love being part of it all. Lots of love, Carole xxxxx
Why not Stitch? If it's sent to someone with whom the sender is friendly, it needn't represent a threat, merely a sign of affection, and the world could surely do with more of that. I wouldn't dream of doing it with you as I don't know you and would not want to risk provoking an agressive reaction as I prefer an atmosphere of calmness not confrontation.
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