Bringing a very old funny up for an a... - Lung Conditions C...

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Bringing a very old funny up for an airing.

wowsa profile image
14 Replies

On the first day, he sadly packed his belongings into boxes, crates and suitcases.

On the second day, he had the movers come and collect his things.

On the third day, he sat down for the last time at their beautiful dining-room table,

by candle-light; he put on some soft background music, and feasted on a pound of shrimp,

a jar of caviar, and a bottle of spring-water.

When he'd finished, he went into each and every room and deposited a few

half-eaten shrimps dipped in caviar into the hollow center of the curtain rods.

He then cleaned up the kitchen and left.

On the fourth day, the wife came back with her new boyfriend, and at first all was bliss.

Then, slowly, the house began to smell.

They tried everything; cleaning, mopping, and airing-out the place.

Vents were checked for dead rodents, and carpets were steam cleaned.

Air fresheners were hung everywhere. Exterminators were brought in to set off gas canisters, during which time the two had to move out for a few days, and in the end they even paid to replace the expensive wool carpeting.. Nothing worked! People stopped coming over to visit.

Repairmen refused to work in the house. The maid quit.

Finally, they couldn't take the stench any longer, and decided they had to move, but a month later - even though they'd cut their price in half - they couldn't find a buyer for such a stinky house.

Word got out, and eventually even the local realtors refused to return their calls.

Finally, unable to wait any longer for a purchaser, they had to borrow a huge sum of money from the bank to purchase a new place.

Then the ex called the woman and asked how things were going.. She told him the saga of the rotting house. He listened politely and said that he missed his old home terribly and would be willing to reduce his divorce settlement in exchange for having the house.

Knowing he could have no idea how bad the smell really was, she agreed on a price that was only 1/10th of what the house had been worth ... but only if he would sign the papers that very day.

He agreed, and within two hours her lawyers delivered the completed paperwork.

A week later the woman and her boyfriend stood smiling as they watched the moving company pack everything to take to their new home ......

and to spite the ex-husband, they even took the curtain rods!

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wowsa profile image
wowsa
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14 Replies
scrobbitty profile image
scrobbitty

I love this one and what a wonderful lesson can be learnt. Buy prawns. :) xx

phillips1 profile image
phillips1

That is a real cracker. I didn't smell anything fishy until right at the end. Great stuff Wowsa.

Bobby xx

Ah, the old revenge trick ... love it :)

Sandra x x x

in reply to

Hi Hun how you feeling ? Better i hope :) xx

in reply to

Yes, I am today. Hopefully the chest infection is on its road out at long last. :) x x

Morning wowsa and scrobs been there with an ex only it was mackarel behind the skirting boards. I believe it got farther smelly, i didint want the house though, had move on by then ;)

Very good story thanks xxx Julie

Is4bell4 profile image
Is4bell4

Ha ha . . . have heard this one, but the taking the curtains and rod made me choke

on my tea. Brilliant.

xx Ros xx

Is4bell4 profile image
Is4bell4

Some while ago,

Robert Killroy Silk had a prog on in the morning (years ago) the subject was revenge.

Not sure if you remember Sarah Moon . . but she pored white paint over his BMW ,

and loaded a milk van with all the vintage wine and delivered it on the doorstep of neighbours.

door steps.

FEW women can have taken their revenge against a former husband quite as stylishly as Sarah Moon.

Like Liz Drouin, she was in a fit of rage because her husband had left her. The trigger was, she said, Sir Peter Graham-Moon's "lack of courtesy" in moving in with his new girlfriend before their divorce was finalised.

In 1992 Lady Moon took her scissors and cut the arms off 32 of his Savile Row suits before pouring white paint over his BMW.

The finest element in her retaliation, however, was to raid Sir Peter's wine cellar and leave bottles of fine wines on his neighbour's doorsteps.

"I'm normally quite in control of my emotions, in fact I am quite shocked by what I have done," she said at the time.

lol

hahha :D I enjoyed that - i hadn't heard it before

:) Anna x

Reminds me of the woman who scattered mustard & cress seeds over all the carpets then watered it in. When the husband came home with his girlfriend all the carpets were growing the plants and ruined. He! He! :)

wowsa profile image
wowsa in reply to

Never heard of this idea before but I thank you for it. You see, we have a new puppy and if I plant grass seed over the dining room carpet it will save us the fiasco of even going outside for his needs!!!

Husband and I enjoyed that - great joke with a twist!

undine profile image
undine

Great joke thanks - maybe an oldie but I'd never heard it before and yes good twist at the end thanks xx

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