Unsupportive family

Hi. My wife and my (adult) kids all seem to think asthma is no big deal and that there is nothing wrong with me.

It didn't help when they heard a recent chest xray was fine and no further action was needed.

I'm on max doses of Flutiform, have seebri and ventolin and I'm told severe/difficult to control asthma although I haven't as yet had my appt at the hospital. This is gp and asthma nurse opinion.

My wife uses cheap Chinese air freshener liquids, and constantly puts bleach in bathroom.

I seem to be very sensitive to dogs, cooking smells, deodar ants and just about any other chemical smells. My lot continue to use them as I don't seem to count.

I've tried to explain and shown various articles to them but they just don't get it.

I've had 2 blue light trips to er in last 12 mths and still...

Anyone else find it so difficult to get family to understand?

[Minushabens]

I've been lucky in that my wife has always understood my asthma & has made various life sacrifices around perfumes, candles & so forth. However my mother, in spite of having both a severely asthmatic husband & son (me!) never gave a hoot & would do as you describe.

I wonder if it's worth taking one of them to an appointment with you & asking the medic to explain how dangerous these things can be. If you are being blue-lighted then they need to understand this is life-threatening, & perhaps a wake-up call from a qualified person might help?

[strongmouse]

Sounds difficult. The problem with 'invisible' illnesses is that they can't be so easily seen. Having said that if you were blue lighted then it was an obvious a serious attack. Some people don't seem to take health issues seriously or to understand that preventing an attack is both helpful and possible. Is it possible that at home you have at least one room, maybe the bedroom, which is free from anything you react to? An air filter in that room might help?

It took me quite a while to convince my family that chemicals can affect my health adversely. When I first developed shortness of breath my husband would stride ahead not thinking of me slowly puffing behind! Now he is very careful for me and is hugely supportive. Maybe a step by step approach would help? Start with the one which is most important to you and ask that they don't use it when you are around. If you have a pet at home I found 'Petal Cleanse' from the Healthy House helped to neutralise the allergens of visiting pets. I also use a personal ioniser which does seem to help.

Society in general - and many doctors - don't seem to take it seriously so it isn't surprising if family find it hard to understand. Keep gently chipping away at it, but stay as healthy as you can.

[corinneyvonne]

I was sorry to hear your story. I know that this will be very difficult for you 🤗. My partner has been extremely supportive but his family just don’t get it and suspect don’t want to to or care to. I have stopped visiting them or asking them to our house and consequently I am much happier. Personally I would start throwing the things away that aggregate your condition like the air fresheners and bleach. They are irritants for me too and I won’t have them in the house. Also is there a Breathe Easy Group near you (they are listed on the BLF website) and if so take your wife with you to this? She will listen to others in your situation and hopefully realise how heartless and unsupportive she is being. I may also ring the Asthma UK helpline to talk to one of the nurses and do it when she can hear you. Be honest and open about how totally let down you feel by your family and you never know the penny might drop 🤞 People in general think that asthma is a inconvenient chest problem rather than a life changing condition. I know it is painful and difficult to keep beating the same drum but be strong, determined and most of all vocal and you never know they might start to hear you. My thoughts are with you 🙏😁

[ChrissieMons]

You could suggest that your children research asthma online, esp the asthmauk site. Point out that 3 people die every day from asthma and you’d prefer it if you were not one of them. Smells are a frequent trigger for me and for many. Maybe you need to get a bit angry about their attitude. Sometimes people are in denial about a problem from fear and sometimes just ignorance and sometimes both. Take your wife with you to your appointments as it may help her understand. I hope so.

[Destiny10]

Hi ezlife

Yes especially strong cleaning liquid smells and people using half a can of body deodrant,fragrances candles, etc, because it doesn't bother them, they think it won't bother you but it does.

[Bengalgurl]

My husband doesn't take my asthma seriously as well. He's mad I react to cleaning products in the midst of a flair up and angry at me because he wants his house to smell nice. I have no idea why to do. He says he knows other people with asthma and they don't react to smells so I should t as well. One of them he says smokes and is fine

. Hmmmm... Feeling very upset as it's beyond my control and I'm the first person who wants to feel heathy again. Not sure what I'll do..

[les4560]

hi there ,yes I know what you are saying I have a sister that thinks asthma is no big deal and use s all kinds of strong smelling candles, room freshners,and yes the worst one of all bleach, I just don't know what to tell her with out making her mad!

[bookworm]

Hiya my mum sometimes isn't supportive to my asthma, I'm not sure what to suggest, how about seeing if there any air freshners which aren't so chemical based, dettol disinfectant spray doesn't seem to affect me so much as some air freshners can. Take care, good luck