Well, i'm back to see my cons tomorrow. I wonder which personlaity i'm going to get? Mr Arrogant or Mr. Charming?
All joking aside, tomorrow is a big day for me, its D (decision)day re my work.
As some of you know i've had issues with my work due to taking so much time off and having issues while i'm at work (some of my colleagues have also been quite distressed seeing me having severe attacks and receiving emergency help from paramedics etc).
I was given the heads up by someone i know as a friend in my hr dept that they are looking to show that i'm not medically capable to do my job.
The sad part is that its true and i can't see it getting better any time soon.
I need the cons to sign me off on long term sick as i am lucky that i have an insurance element to my pension scheme which means if i'm signed off for more than 6 months, i will get 75% of my salary for as long as i'm signed off (even if its until i retire).
This is obviously preferable to getting sacked!!
Its all a bit daunting really as i've worked all my life but i know i can't carry on as i am.
Sorry for the ramble, just nervous about tomorrow and wanted to get out how i'm feeling.
Again, thanks for listening peeps.
xxx
17 Replies
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Got My Fingers Crossed For You For Tomorrow Angelica, Hope All Goes Smoothly And You Get Mr Charming At Least!!
xxx
oooh scary moment! I do know how you feel - my consultant is generally better but I have good appts and not so good appts and never know how it will be - I was really nervous before my last one as the previous one hadn't been so good (partly me though).
Also scary about work, though it must be a relief to know that you'll be covered salary-wise! Crossed fingers that you get the solution you want there re being signed off.
I do think though that you should come out and ask the cons what he can do for you to improve things, as presumably you'd prefer not to be on long-term sick if this was possible health-wise and if there is something that can be done. If he says he can't do anything, maybe now is the time to ask for a referral to a specialist centre to see what they can do? I don't think it's unreasonable to ask this if you're facing long-term sick leave, regardless of any salary arrangements you might have specifically.
Thanks Charlie!
I definitely will be doing that philomela, I have already discussed with work that by being signed off lts if I get the right meds in a year or two or five t, that I van go back to work and they have said yes.
It will always be my goal to get well and work, I'm a dooer, I get bored easily and need stimulation !
Well, I hope you do get Mr Charming tomorrow. Also hoping that the scary decision re work goes well. And in the long run that you're well enough to work again. I, like you, always have to be doing something. Hugs coming your way xx
Figured you would - and glad your work seem to be ok with that, it must be a relief.
Crossing fingers for you tomorrow that it all goes well and you get the referral if necessary, to someone who doesn't blow hot and cold and is consistently helpful!
Good luck with the appt - hope you get mr charming cons - and that the work situation works out for the best of your health ultimately
Good luck tomorrow Angelica and hopefully he is Mr Charming. I wish it was guaranteed that we all come away from medical appts feeling happy!!
lol JF, that would be nice! I stopped seeing one GP regularly because though she was very nice and did listen and was good, she made me feel very depressed whenever I saw her as she was always saying she didn't know if anything could be done. Granted that's probably a luxury as it was nice to actually have someone who believed it wasn't in my head (there just happens to be another one in the practice who's more upbeat and persistent about looking for solutions) but it really didn't help having someone who didn't seem to believe either she or the cons could help me!
I'm just happy to come away without feeling like I need surgery to remove my foot from my mouth, given the things I say when I'm nervous lol.
Let's hope you have Dr Jekyll tomorrow Angelica, and not Mr Hyde...
Saw my cons today and he was nice again, woop woop!
He thinks I may have VCD which confused me to begin with as he was talking about it being caused by anxiety and or depression (which I don't suffer from. I did have PTSD and post natal depression after my son was born so I'd have no issues with saying if I was depressed or suffering with anxiety).
I've researched a bit since I got home and I would say I fit the irritant VCD criteria to a T!
Im being referred to an ENT specialist for tests so see what shows up.
If it is VCD it would mean coming off all the horrible meds and just having my basic asthma meds meds.
Wow! That's amazing. I hope you get your ENT appointment soon and can chuck the pred away forever
yay! Glad you got Dr Jekyll lol.
Sounds positive then, really hope that works out. They thought I might have VCD too, thought they had ruled it out but the RBH decided not ruled out enough so they're planning to try and trigger an 'attack' by making me exercise with a scope down my throat to see what happens ('not as bad as it sounds', apparently.) They might do that with you though sounds like it could be more risky, but guess you'll find out - do you know if you'll have long to wait for ENT?
I read up on VCD as well and you might have seen this already, but the things I read said that while it MAY have a psychological cause, it may also be triggered by other things. It's apparently more common if you have asthma - after they raised it as a possibility with me my mum happened to be talking to a doctor and somehow they got onto me and my weird lungs or whatever, and when my mum said she'd never heard of VCD but they thought I might have it apparently this doctor immediately said 'does she have asthma?'
Anyway sorry for rambling, but crossing fingers you can come off all the pred!
Did you sort something out re work for the moment?
wahey, thats a good result, especially if you can get off most of the nasty meds!! I got tested 3 time for VCD, all of which came back negative, but had to endure the actually test three times, which I have to admit isn't very pleasant, not horrible, but not nice either!!
do you know when you going to get tested!?
What about the sickness side of things!?
xxx
Thanks all!
Weird to.get excited at the thought that it may be VCD but its better than the alternative
Because I haven't got a proper diagnosis at the moment he can't sign me off lts so I just have to carry on qnd try to keep going to work.
Its going to be weird as if I have an attack I'm going to be wondering if I really am or if its just my vocal cords throwing a wobbly!!!
I will ring my cons secretary next week to see when the ent stuff has been set up for, hopefully not too long.
I have VCD and firstly it isn't anything to be ashamed of though there is a link between VCD and anxiety VCD symptoms can't be started or stopped be yourself though they can be controlled using breathing exercises going fff and then sss or chewing. I find sipping water the best thing.
You do learn what vcd and what's not I can tell by the sound of my wheeze and the location of the tightness but this takes time.
I would speak to speech therapy and ENT and get a written plan of how to treat if VCD in the ED as its annoying when you go there and then they do nothing. Mine says high flow o2 or heliox plus IV midaz.
Thanks bird, that's really helpful.
Can I ask some questions? Pls feel free to not answer if I'm being too nosy!!!
So I take it from what you say you still end up in hospital sometimes? How do you feel after a VCD attack? Does it take you long to recover?
I'm sure I'll think of a million amd one more questions so sorry in advance!
Xx
I think i might of added you on fb so you can talk to me more private or ask anything!
I also have asthma so I still do end up in hospital but as I said Im very good at knowing what's what. In a VCD only attack I have coughing fits of a hoarse dry cough following with a wheeze that dosn't change pitch and feels like I am being strangled (Unlike in asthma the cough more chesty and tighteness more chest)
After an attack I often have a sore throat that lasts a few hours and really thirsty. It doesn't take long to recover once over the intail attack things settle really quickly but do find I need sleep.
Usually exercises are enough to cure it but you have to be open with having it to many people see it as a panic disorder which it isn't. Things i got told dont do spicey or fatty foods, limit coke and caffeine, drink lots, control any reflux and be of a healthy weight.
Vocal cord Dysfunction is when they spasm and produce either a stirdor or a wheeze sound. I suffer on breathing out but many suffer breathing in.
It feels like a band at the base of the neck top of the shoulders
VCD can happen at the same time as asthma.
VCD can only truly be diagnosed by the camera in the throat during an attack
It can effect blood gases
VCD cant be turned on or off by the person though exercises help these might not always work
Some acute treatments can be to use heliox, Intermittent positive pressure ventilation, Continuous positive airway pressure, and breathing exercise.
If there is an underlying condition to which vocal cord dysfunction is secondary, it is important to treat the primary condition. This alone can help control VCD
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Back to the doctors tomorrow?
tomorrow
