Discrimination

hi! just thought id tell you about some of my recent experiences, as its really annoying me. dont even know if discrimination is the right word?

a few things: a couple of weeks ago i was doing my usual walk round the stadium, opposite where i live, with my walking sticks. part of my respiratory rehabilitation programme. except that this was a wednesday afternoon, when all the kids/students have their training. and the was this bunch of kids who, every time i went past them, stood there pointing and practically rolling about and screaming with laughter.

also another time, was out in town, no crutches or anything, just walking slow and weird like i always do, a bit SOB etc. and this woman with her kid pointed at me and said to him: ""look, thats someone who has a difficult time walking, and you dont want to get like them...""

then today, coming down the few steps to the bus stop, with my two crutches. a kid said to me: ""hurry up then! get down those steps!"" i just smiled at him, trying to be nice, etc. and then he burst out laughing.

has anyone else had experiences such as these? how do you deal with it? do you answer, what would you say?

thanks for any input. stay well all.

Rose

[Asthma-girl]

That is horrible for you to experience some people can be so insensitive can't they.

[Hidden]

Hi Rose,

I spent a while on crutches earlier this year as an indirect result of my asthma - steroids - weak bones - fractures and I experienced some very similar things. I nievely thought that having a 'visible' disability would be okay as I'd experienced so much discrimination with a hidden disability, but I was very wrong.

I was chucked off a bus (on diversion so others weren't picking up...) because the driver refused to go whilst I was trying to stand (fair enough) and not one passenger would give up their seat for me - I had to hop for what seemed like forever to find another bus stop.

As to others laughing - I live in student halls and once the fire alarm went off - two floors up and not allowed to use the lift I was going down very slowly, another student thought it would be funny to run past, tell me to hurry up and knock my crutches. I was in tears by the time I made it down - he did get in major trouble with management, but it still wasn't a nice experience.

I'd hoped my experiences were one offs, but I've been much more accutely aware of how others treat others (if that makes sense) and although your experiences are awful, sadly I'm not shocked. I really wish I had the answers, but I don't. A lot of it does seem to happen with groups of people or where others think they can get a cheap laugh. I don't know what to say that will help, but I do very much know how you feel.

[Laughaminute]

I understand what you mean about bad experiences. My asthma has recently returned in a horrendous way after being fairly well controlled for years, although my gp thinks I may have copd as well, even though Ive NEVER smoked!!

I hate the reactions I get from total strangers and some friends too. I sometimes get soo breathless from doing the most basic things, and it really doesnt help to be told its just cause Im so fat thats why I cant breath! If only that where true lol!

I hate the fact people cant understand why Im off work when I dont look ill, ok I might look fine sat on a chair, but you should see me trying to do the school run with three kids on a cold morning!

Why should we feel we have to justify ourselves to these people who just dont understand our illness?

[Hidden]

Yes it is annoying to have the finger pointed and people making comments, but often these people are so damn ignorant that you would be wasting your time telling them any different. Gail Porter has lost her hair and be sectioned , Heather McCarntney is an amputee, plus loads of other famous people out there have be affected by health problems and disability and had their issues splashed around the media at some time or another, and yet despite these peoples difficulties they lead successful lives. So with those famous people in mind, like them you have to rise above it, don't let small minded people take away from you, the fact that despite disability you are out in public doing your best to maintain your fitness counts for hell of a lot. I spent years justifying myself for one reason or another, and no sooner had I sorted out one persons beliefs I had another person doing the same. I could spend half my life telling people why I am like I am, but I have better things to do, like living! Took me a long time to be able to do this, but I was told by a clinical asthma nurse at the Royal Brompton once, that the only person I have to justify my every day life to is ME. It is none of anyone else's business.

Good luck with the respiratory rehab, Katina

[angievere]

People like that are just bullies (at worst) and unkind (at 'best'). I'm afraid it is rife, even in schools. My son (14) has been bullied because of his asthma and I was bullied as a teenager and later on at work. Anyone who is a bit different gets it!

I dont know what the answer is - easy to say ignore it but I know it still hurts. Sometimes you can answer but for myself, I could never think of anything smart/witty to say at the time! Just console yourself with the thought that they are ignorant/unkind, and what goes round comes round.

[Hidden]

Like Angievere says they are pathetic specimens of humanity, but equally that doesn't help when you have to put up with the evidence of this (I used to have to put up with this at school, didn't really help then that I thought they were a bunch of losers and could never come up with a good comeback either).

I am reminded though of that scene in Notting Hill where they're in the restaurant and hear the drunk guys saying all actresses are prostitutes and Julia Roberts's character is a 'typical example' - love the way she deals with that but sadly not always possible!

[Hidden]

Don't let them get to you unfortunately thats how some persons are be sure they will find something else to laugh at until it happens to them/ or people they know. You keep up your exercises.

Gill

[Hidden]

There for by the grace of god its not them always some idiot young or old who dosent think before opening there mouth. Unfortunatly it prevelant in society any option you take the remarks can be upsetting try to ignore them if you stay home they have won. What don't kill us makes us stronger take care