Being on your own.: It is so... - Asthma Community ...

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Being on your own.

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It is so frightening when you live on your own and suffer from constant asthma attacks and with little sleep, legs swelling and exhaustion, most of the time it is terrifying. Can't sit, can't lie down, can't walk about and nobody to simply, be there. Even when lucky enough to fall asleep, waking up gagging for breath. I'm so grateful that I've found this site.

7 Replies

hi, and welcome. Asthma is so scary even to me and i have my family around. I know what thats like to feel like that. And i bet everyone on here will have been though the same. We are all here to support each other and give advise about things. I was glad when i found this site as well and everyone is very supportive and have helped me

Amanda

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angievere

Hi Joan, I've lived on my own and I agree, it's not nice when you are ill with asthma (or anything). Have you got any friends who can do your shopping/errands for you? I must admit I didnt like asking but had some really kind friends from church who helped me when I needed it.

I agree this site is a godsend. Even with a supportive husband I find asthma is still quite a lonely business - my son has it quite bad and I worry all the time about him. But through this site I realised I am not alone in how I feel and it is a comfort. Feel free to pm me anytime.

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Annista

Hi Joan. I live alone and I know exactly what you're going through because I was there for about 6 months towards the end of last year. I've sent you a PM with a few thoughts, which I hope will help you.

xx

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yaf_user681_30355

Hi Joan,

I love living on my own but it is hard when I am unwell. I am only occasionally scared when needing lots of ventolin through my spacer and trying to stay calm but know i can ring my sister if i am too scared. But my main challenge is managing all of the day to day stuff like housework, shopping and cooking. I have had constant shortness of breath for a year now (not all due to asthma) and just making a coffee can be such an effort at times.

This website has been such a support as I don't feel i can talk about my day to day challenges to friends all of the time (it does get boring after this long) and i feel people on this site know exactly how difficult every physical thing is to do and how much you have to pace yourself and be selective over what to do each day. Most of the time i just read other people's entries but, get so much from doing that.

Jac

I also live on my own. I love living alone and think I'd find it hard to live with someone else right now, but there are times when I wish there was someone else around to help when I'm really struggling. Even little things like getting a glass of water when I'm so SOB that I can't walk... my cat needs feeding regardless of how awful I feel.... I can't live in a dirty/messy flat so have to clean even when my lungs are playing up

I try not to panic when I have a severe asthma attack and need to call an ambulance. I only live in a small flat but getting to the phone, talking, then getting to the front door to unlock it is such a daunting chore when I'm really struggling... I've always managed to do everything I need before collapsing/unconcious, I think it's like a survival mechanism - I'll force myself to call for help before giving in.

On the other hand, I'd pity the poor person who was unlucky to end up in a relationship with me. I can't imagine anything worse than trying to sleep next to someone who coughs and wheezes all night long!

Joanii, that does sound scary and you've obviously been having a bad time - I think it can make you feel worse not having anyone to bounce things off or just be there.

I live with a housemate but we do most things separately and I really hate that feeling though of 'not hungry, knackered, but have to cook something', or do my share of cleaning etc which I feel I have to do. Oh for someone who cooks for me and doesn't mind staying in when I don't feel up to going out.

As for complaining on here - definitely valuable! I gave up trying to explain to my colleagues today why I was so annoyed that my multiple trips to the printer down the corridor turned out to have been unnecessary. I didn't think I could explain without sounding like a massive drama queen that it had actually left me feeling really tired and breathless just walking back and forth and if I hadn't had to do it I might have been able to go out tonight to choir. I know for some people that would be out of the question anyway and they have it a lot worse all the time but I was cross that such a small thing made so much difference and just couldn't explain that no, it wasn't 'good exercise' for me walking to the printer.

I am encrdibly lucky I have an amazing house mate who is supportive, kind and there for me. It is like sharing a house with my sister. It works both ways when things are tough we support each other. Yet we know each needs own space, other friends etc it works well. I am lucky.

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