home but unhappy

Sean finally came home yesterday after 3 long weeks. Unfortunatly the massive steriod doses have given him very bloated belly and face and he also developed a skin comaplint that has left him smothered in spots over face. Usually Sean is desperate to get back to school as soon as he discharged but now he wont go because of how he looks. His face is so moonlike he doesnt look like himself , he said to me this morning 'mum can u imagine whats it like to see such a fat spotty face in mirror everyday' . I really dont know what to do or say to make this easier for him, we both know that the steriods are essential but its so unfair that a usually very confident boy wants to hid away at home

Anyone else had similar situation?

J xx

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I can't help with the pred face problem, although I went to extreme lengths to warn people who only see me once a year a Party Confernnce that the size 12 string bean bouncing around was now a size 16-18 and deffo no boucning anywhere and I must admit as I am quite well known I dreaded people looking at me twice.

However, my youngest son had to deal with a massive appearence change and I think this might help. Josh has auto-immune problems and he has total hair loss, it all fell out over a couple of momths when he was 10. We spoke to school to who suggested if Josh felt confident enough it would be better than he explained to his classmates and the teaching staff would support and back him up dealing with difficult questions etc. Josh did tell his class and his teacher made it quite clear that Josh was member of their class and therefore of their community and what hurt him would hurt them so they were all to be on their guard and to report any teasing that might come from other classes. Josh asked that other class teachers explain his hairloss to their classes and that he knew when they were doing it as he expected to get a few more stares and play ground questions in the immediate hours afterwards. As a result there were only 2 very isolated incidences of minor teasing which where reported not by Josh but by one his class mates who overheard it. Josh is now in snr school and there have been a couple of times when kids have been cruel but Josh has 2 very good friends who stick up for him and the school have a very good anti-bullying campaign. Two of the boys who had been warned before were very dismayed to discover their sly little digs at ""baldy"" meant their parents would get a letter sent home and further teasing would result in a 2 day suspension.

One of the things that really helped Josh was having these 2 friends who just treated normal and who carried an air of ""nothing to see here move long"" when people stared at Josh. Maybe if Sean has a couple of friend like that they could be roped in to help.

Talk to the school, plan his return and above all make sure everyone realises he is still the same boy underneath. I asked Josh this morning if he had any advice too and he said always tell someone if people are being nasty and not to be afraid to walk away if people are not being nice.

I hope this helps, best of luck

Bex

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Thanks Bex, I have been to the school and teacher has spoken to class today. Apparently they doing an anti bullying theme so she led on from bullying speech to telling class about sean. She has told them he is coming back and looks a bit different to usual because of the drugs. She also told them Sean is still the same person he was so they are to make him feel welcomed back. Fortunatly he has some very good friends which will help. It's such a shame though, he is so self concious that he is very quiet instead of being life and soul of party that he usually is.

He is going back tommorow hopefully so ill keep u posted

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julie, im glad you are home. i dont really have any advice about seans confidence prob cos michael is still a little too young to be affected by that. so i dont have any advice although everything that has been said sounds sensible to me!!! i just thought id post to let you know that im happy that hes finally home and that ive been thinking of you two. good luck and i hope he enjoys himself when he does go back to school!

kirsten

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Julie, sounds like the school have been really good. Maybe once he gets back and his friends treat him like normal he will feel a little less self concious. Best of luck to him I really hope it all goes well. He is brave young lad and does not deserve to feel bad.

Bex

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Julie, who did Sean get on today? I was thinking of him.

Hugs

Bex

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Hi I am very pleased to say Sean's day went well. Only one kid asked what was wrong with his face, sean replied nothing,whats wrong with yours! He fell asleep for 20 mins in class but teacher left him rather than cause a fuss which is good. His sleep pattern is all over place so i did warn the school he could be very tired. He was really pleased to see all his mates, the first thing he said when he got in car was 'that was a good day we did lots of laughing' He is so drugged up and tired I really dont think he is getting much education being at school but by seeing his mates and seeing that they dont care what he looks like has done wonders for his mood. He is much more cheerful and chatty tonight which is fantastic!

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Julie

I am so glad that Sean was able to have a good day. It soudns like he could do with some cheering up, and I think being around his friends is jsut the thing. Let him know I am thinking of him, he is such a trooper.

Brynne