A little new to this.

Hi all. I'm hoping there's someone here who'd be willing to give me some advice.

I've recently started seeing someone who (at 25 yrs old) has moderate-severe persistent Asthma, and I want to know what I can do to help her keep it under control?

She had a sudden attack during the night a few days ago, and all I could do was try to keep her calm by talking to her. Is that really all I can do in that situation?

I can understand that she's used to dealing with it on her own, so she doesn't want to burden me with her problems (which is stupid if you ask me), but I feel so useless and I want to know how I can help.

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hi and welcome to the forum

firstly thankyou for wanting to support your partner in her asthma in having an attack. THANKYOU!

this website will give you a lot of info, advice and support regarding the condition, triggers and what to do to help her when she has an asttack.

also the asthmauk adviceline (number top left of page)

how long has she had asthma for?

the most inmportant thing to do in an attack is to remain calm - sounds like you already were doing that with her - so not do sound patronising but well done

also in an attack help her to take her reliever inhaler - normally blue, and call 999 as you probably know!

in relation to keeping her condition under control, this is probably better if you know what her triggers are, then you will know how to avoid them. hayfever, dust and smoke seem to be the biggest ones!

ensure you help monitor her peak flows twice a day or also when she is symptomatic as this will help identify when problems start to arise...

another tip, before any hospital or gp appointment, make sure you prepare a list of questions beforehand incase you or her minds go blank beforehand - i know mine surely does!! lol

if you ever need advice and support this forum is here and feel free to PM me at anytime

x x x

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Thanks, it's reassuring to know that I was at least doing the right thing in that situation. I really know (or knew, before I started reading the pages on this site) nothing about Asthma. I've got to say that the woman I love not being able to breath is the scariest thing I've ever encountered, so you saying well done is far from patronising.

As far as I know, she was diagnosed as a baby (her doctors thought she had Pneumonia, but the hospital staff recognised it as Asthma). I'm still getting a handle on her triggers, but she's had a cold recently which is definitely not helping.

Peak flows are something to ask her about, she's never mentioned them and I've never seen her take a measurement, thanks for the advice.

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your very welcome.

continue to do what your doing. things will get easier, especially with all the info you gather along the way.

does she have a gp and asthma nurse or she under a consultant as they can offer you both support as well.

yes, my flatmate and friends know only too well how scary it is when i am unable to breathe and not to scare you, but as i am very BRITTLE, my best friend has actually seen me stop breathing :S

colds, viruses etc... are especially triggers for us asthmatics indeed so they certainly challenge our control of our symptoms. the best thing them is to ensure you take your preventer medication as prescribed and take her blue inhaler before going out in the cold air, and when going outside perhaps put a scarf around her mouth and nose loosely (so that she not claustrophobic!!) so that the scarf warms the cold air she breathes in before it enters the airways and lungs.

also, multivitamins etc. can help boost immune system so it maybe worth asking gp bout them?

x x x

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Hi,

Maybe ask her what she does now to keep it under control, and whether she has a plan. If she doesn't, a good idea to get one (I don't but I probably should). If she does, make sure you're familiar with it - you don't want to be constantly asking if she's ok and has she taken her medication but you do want to know what to do when she has an attack.

Also ask her if there's anything unusual about her asthma ie does she not wheeze, is her best peak flow higher/lower than predicted (though she may not know this if she doesn't measure it), does it not drop much during an attack. Then you can maybe start building up a picture of when she's more or less ok and when she might not be, and if you have to call in outside help, you can tell them that eg she's a non-wheezer, PF doesn't reflect symptoms or whatever if this is the case - it's not always 'classic'. She may do that anyway, but it can be better/easier coming from someone else.

This should also help you to be the person who can give her an 'external' opinion on whether she should/shouldn't do something. Obviously you don't want to be telling her what she can and can't do but more telling her she's not fussing over nothing if she doesn't feel great, or that it's not ridiculous that she doesn't feel able to do something. If that makes sense - obviously that depends on her personality and how things work between you, but sometimes I would like to have someone tell me 'no, it's ok that you don't feel like going out tonight' or that going into work would be a bad idea (haven't had this much but just an example).

Hope this helps, sorry it's a bit long! Great to hear of someone being so supportive.

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This is great guys. I can't thank you enough.

Although the information on this site is all useful in understanding what kind of problems she faces, it is all tailored toward sufferers. There's nothing wrong with that, per se, but it's not always easy to say ""well, ok, I can do [x] to help out.""

You say I'm being supportive, but it seems like I'm the only one amongst her friends and her colleagues who even recognises that it's a problem. It's good to know that I don't just have to feel useless all the time, so I'm taking notes.

I think I'll show her your comments and ask her what she wants (as you say, I don't want to be the one telling her what she can and can't do).

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Hello!,

Please don't feel like this site is tailored towards those that have asthma as this site is for all of us, sufferers and parents/partners/carers. I am a parent to Louis who is nine and suffers terribly and I registered a few years ago (although I did wander away for a little while!!)

I have returned of late because I remembered what a great site this is for just sharing how we feel, getting advice and just learning about everyone else and believe me there is nothing more comforting than knowing I am not alone in how I feel, whether it be scared, panicky or indeed happy! - of course it goes without saying that the best feeling of all would be that everyone was well.

So welcome to the site and I hope you find it as helpful as I do.......

Serenity xx

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hey

i am glad u feel that we are helping you, and like the others have said on here, this site covers everyone, even healthcare professionals!! so everyone catered for. defo also show your partner our comments and have her also to have a look around the site as it will provide a lot of info and support for her and perhaps back - up what she already knows.

its worrying that you say it seems that only u are aware of her asthma out of her friends and colleagues ?

maybe its worth her talking to her closest mates to make them aware incase shes in a situation where she needs their help during in attack ?

any advice etc.. feel free to PM

x x