So upset at seeing my poor little man suffer and can't stop crying......

Hello all....I am afraid this is going to be a really wingey post.

I can't talk to my husband and tonight I'm really struggling. I picked Max up from he childminders and he was superb....he was lively, smiley, ate loads and bang..went to bed and the coughing started. He has had all his meds today, so I used he blue inhaler tosee if this would reduce the coughing...I just knew he was going to eventually be sick. Meanwhile, whilst my poor little man is hacking away my husband turned to me when I was getting upset and said I don't know why you are getting so upset and het up....he was like it this time last year and you know he'll get better when hte weather gets a bit warmer. I just cannot belive that my husband, the father of my child, said that. I really want to call him all he names under the son, and I know I shouldn't say it, but I really felt like slapping him. Max was then sick and so upset as usual and huband was his typical crappy self.

I know I am moaning and I feel like I'm being so selfish, but I'm sitting here feeling really sorry for myself...I really need some support and can't even rely on my husband to be there. I cried so hard ealier that my whole body aches and I have a massive headache (not stopping me from having a glass of wine though...I really need it!) My husband is really rubbish at dealing with anything to be honest, but I just wish Icould rely on him to support Max and I.

On a positive note, Max has an appt with the specialiston 2nd March and it can't come soon enough.

So sorry to moan....but the onyl peopl that truely understand are you guys and this website has been so fantastic.

Oh....I am keeping a diary now and it seem's that Max is worse when it is cold and damp....does anyone elsefind this with their little one?

Thanks in advance for all your support xxxx

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Don't worry about sounding like you are moaning. This is a very stressful time for you all. It does help to have a rant and a moan on here, most of us do it. Your husband is probably just trying to cope in his own way so try not to fall out with him. The last thing Max needs is his parents falling out.

The weather is a big factor and I am always bad at this time of year, damp weather, extreme temps and sudden changes always cause a flare up.

I know it doesn't help but all you can do is take one day at a time, spring is not too far away and hopefully your other half is correct and he will pick up.

Meanwhile feel free to rant away

Hope Max picks up soon

Mark

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sending a hug to you

Charlotte

I really feel for you, having a small child with asthma is extremely worrying. My son was 7 years old when he developed asthma (he's now 25 and fit and healthy), but I remember my husband at the time told me and everyone in his family I was making a big thing out of nothing and our son didn't really have asthma at all...not very helpful and I take on board Mark's comment that maybe your husband is coping with it in his own way. However, the problem with that is you are likely to feel you are having to cope on your own and that can feel really lonely and frustrating. Sending you a big hug make sure you get the support you need, this site is great for that and you are not alone. You sound like a lovely mum, just make sure you take care of yourself as well x

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Hi Charlotte

I really feel for you. It must be awful when Max is ill & you feel as if youre on your own.

Remember, this is the place to let off steam.

I hope Max is feeling better now.

The weather does seem to play its part re asthma. I always feel worse when its winter, or extremely hot.

Im sure your husband worries also, but because hes a bloke, he tries not to show it. I behave in a very similar way to your husband.

If a bloke says its ok dont worry, we actually really mean

Oh no, i hope its going to be alright, but i darent say that out loud.

Fortunately, my girls dont have asthma, its only me.

I hope this helps in some way.

Howie

[angievere]

Hi Charlotte, I know how you feel, I've been through it with my son. 2 yrs ago he was really ill and I felt so alone with it all. My husband is an absolute dear but he worked (works) long hours so isnt here to deal with any of it. Do you have any support at all eg mum. My mum nursed me through childhood asthma (and beyond!) so she's understands how I feel.

Hope Max is feeling a bit better today. And you too. Feel free to PM me anytime.

[Annista]

Hi Charlotte. I know how you feel seeing your little boy so ill and having nobody to turn to for support. My son nearly died at 14 months old after inhaling a piece of apple peel. It was removed surgically but for a week afterwards we didn't know if he'd survive. I was in pieces and all my husband could do was tell me not to be so stupid. The thing is, though, you aren't alone. I'm sure that your husband is as worried as you are but doesn't know how to deal with it or how to help you - maybe he doesn't even understand how much you need his help. It can be hard to talk about things that are so deeply emotional and the last thing you need to for it to become an issue between you. Could you write to him? Or how about copying some of the posts from this site for him to read?

Don't worry about moaning. We all need to be able to let go from time to time and at some point you'll see a post from someone in a similar situation and you'll be able to offer them some support and understanding.

Look after yourself as well as Max (sends hug)

xx

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my boys 2 and is exactly the same 1 min he could be fine next min hes coghing like no 2morrow he gets ina right state and same here i cry most times it happens my tough soldier than can barely breath says its ok mummy im ok breaks my heart he coughs so much he makes himself sick and tends to choke on it my partner cums out wiv as swn as hes sick he will be fine! i tends to get quite angry at that point cause i no he wnt be fine he will carrry on coughing and carry on being sick, its like he walks wiv his eyes shut, but on the ova hand they dnt see it how we do that things cud turn dangerous, we see our likkle lads suffering they just see there kid not well like as if its sumthing that just passes, yeah my boy mite be fine now and then but the thought ov him going thru it the next time is enough to send me crazy, i hope ur soldiers health picks up swn and i send loads ov huggs from this end hope things gets easier for u aswell x x x

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In my experience, men are 'fixers', they see something is wrong/broken and they mend it (i don't mean just physically broken, mentally broken too). If they come across something they can't or don't know how to fix, they find themselves out of their comfort zone and don't know what to do which results 9 times out of 10 in them doing or saying the wrong thing. Unfortunately thats why men seem not to care at times, they really do its just they don't know how to deal with it. I've been there thousands of times with my husband!!

Take care and hope your son gets sorted out soon xxx

Ps I don't mean this is a negative thing towards men, just evolutionary-wise men were hunter-gatherers and went out and did stuff, whereas women brought up the family supported the men etc etc.