Communication Coach needed

[andrewmclean]

Hi, i'm new here. I work for an Executive Agency within the Department of Transport, and im looking for a coach for a member of staff I work closely with who has Asperger's Syndrome. Having talked with my colleague they have expressed an interest in a coach to explore and work with them on their communication style and approach. We both agree that it would be great if the coach had a good understanding of disability issues, particularly Asperger's Syndrome.

I'm struggling finding a person/service that is able to help, but I was signposted to this community as a possibility.

happy to discuss in more detail.

thank you

Andrew Mclean

[Justdiagnosed]

As a representative of the Autism Society, I suggest you call the nearest state or local office near you. If they don't have available volunteers, they can give you valuable resources, suggestions, and might be a sounding board if there are encounters that might arise.

I'm 61 and have been working since I was 17. I wasn't diagnosed until 55, but I know the patterns I've lived with.

Before assigning a coach, talk to the Autism Society (or whatever you have where you are). The OFTEN most qualified coach is someone who is also on the Spectrum. What you are seeing (your perception of an employee's behavior or performance) can be considered an insult--assigning one at work can create a claim with the American Disabilities Act.

Disabilities are not meant to be "discussed with employers," they are meant to ALLOW ACCESS to assistance when requested. If you are not asked, you can't address it AT ALL. If your employee or his caseworker comes to you and asks for accommodations, such as a coach, you are OBLIGATED to provide it, where possible.

Read up on the American's with Disabilities Legislation before you address ANYTHING with ANYONE, including discussing the case with a coach before you have been asked. This is a very tricky slope you are about to jump off of -- without your skis.

I would suggest, however, that presuming someone can't do the work because they don't communicate well with others, won't change with a coach. Many of us are far more loyal, dedicated, and knowledgeable about our professions and can clearly state our strengths and weaknesses if asked.

Many of us prefer to learn by doing, and can't process someone else telling us which buttons to push "to make things easier," or "you can save time doing it like this," etc. We are meticulous -- if you ask for something, you'll most likely get far more than you expected -- that's not coaching material--that's strength.

I always preferred situations where I was alone in the office (I was Management in Regional Offices or worked for CEOs or Presidents, never supervisors). My employers were always gone, and I got so much done alone and quiet.

As an editor, I would stay up 48 hours straight to meet deadlines--again, a strength, not a problem. Even though I didn't have much to do with others at work, everyone knew that the days before deadline were mine--and I always met my assigned tasks.

Same with being a writer. I write in my head. I rarely take notes, I don't "show my work." I can "tell" you what I did, but to give an detailed presentation would include (even in relatively minor situations), charts/graphs/citations/articles/fact checking, etc. --that's not coaching--it's strength.

In HS, I would write an entire term paper, from first draft to final product, including addendums and indexes, in my head. We didn't have to type, so I would sit down 25 minutes before class and just write from my head--verbatim. If I was asked for an outline, I would have been out of luck.

In other classes, I would argue if an answer I considered to be right was marked wrong, and would continue to bring documentation, proof, people who could vouch, until my teachers agreed (usually) to correct the grade. I didn't need a coach to handle a situation--I needed a teacher to HEAR what I was saying. I never picked an argument I couldn't win, and I am not aggressive.

On the most part, we are incapable of lying. If something happened, and no one listens, we'll get obsessed with the injustice of being perceived as wrong. That's very important. If someone gives an instruction ONCE (about the way something should be done, for instance), that's how we'll do it all the time.

I was always looking to make things more efficient. I ended up being assigned to rewrite and/or structure Standard Operating Procedures, etc. because my input was helpful. In all actuality, I was making my job easier--while teaching others how to do theirs.

One thing I would certainly discuss, or ASK if it would be helpful, would be access and the ability to use a quiet area (even if it's just a restroom) to retreat to when your employee is feeling overwhelmed, or experiencing sensory overload (which is horrible and can't be controlled) where we won't be bothered by others. The break is a need to ground oneself in a controlled situation where THEY can relax as they know how (which might include cell phone usage, crossword puzzles, a nap, etc.)

So, didn't mean to sound discouraging, just voicing concerns.

[andrewmclean in reply to Justdiagnosed]

hi thank you for the reply. By the way im based in the UK! Also, I have had many conversations with the staff member, and it was themselves who made the suggestion of a coach and I agreed to help to find someone. they also suggested it would be great if it could be someone with a good understanding of Asperger's Syndrome. so from day one ive been taking my lead from them.

thanks again for your suggestions and information.

much appreciated

andrew

[Justdiagnosed in reply to andrewmclean]

Maybe this will help: autism.org.uk/

[andrewmclean in reply to Justdiagnosed]

thanks