Aha! I probably have ASD.

[Montanna]

Have you ever look back on your life and thought; aha! that's why that happened.

I did this twice, once when I was diagnosed with dyslexia. And now waiting for a diagnosis of ASD.

Apparently a year to two-year wait, or sooner if you have £2550 in your back pocket.

Picture this you loved playing in the water as a kid, had few friends, lost jobs because you were not popular, people often thought you looked angry or upset when you were just concentrating, you accidentally offended people without trying, you have a history of being bullied or discovering that you were being bullied too late to do anything about it.

You are missing out on 30% of a conversation that everyone else seems to get!

I seem to be equipped for social situations.

Any comments even single words are welcome.

[PearCider]

Never heard of a one to two year wait. Went via GP and it was much less - around 4 to 6 months. It's possible this varies across the country, or that the reason for wanting the diagnosis makes a difference. I think I might politely ask why it's that long and explain how it's impacting you and how a diagnosis would help.

[Montanna in reply to PearCider]

Thank you,

Might be something in the water around here. That or they are seriously understaffed.

[Felixmum]

Omg your describing me.I only recently got my dyslexia diagnosis.Plus the other stuff,what should I do.Im not joking.

[Hidden]

Hi Montanna, I know exactly how you feel. I realised I have Aspergers, as I think of it, about 18 months ago.

In one sense it was rather a relief. I have done quite well in some ways in my life, but in other ways, i.e. socially, have struggled.

I have seen several counsellors and once even had psychotherapy, but never felt any of that ever got to the bottom of what I feel is different about me.

I have always felt different and "outside" of social situations.

I was extremely shy when I was young and was bullied. I did have "friends" but never felt entirely comfortable with them. I have had I'd say 2 close friends in my entire life and both those relationships ended sadly.

I have been married 3 times. First for 10 years, a terrible marriage. I have three daughters, but haven't had any contact with two of them for over 10 years, the third I rarely have any contact with. She is Aspergers too.

Second marriage was OK at first, but ended badly after 5 years.

Now in third marriage which is going well in many respects, but I don't feel like we are soulmates or anything like that.

Realising that I have Aspergers has been quite liberating in some ways. It explains why I react the way I do. It also released me from the pressure to "fit in" or being told that I need to socialise and have friends etc.

I'm now 68 and I don't have to do any of that! I'm not shy and most of the time, when I am with people, I can get on with them in a superficial way. I accept that I don't have friends and don't struggle with it.

On the whole, I am now quite happy with myself.

The main drawback for me now is oversensitivity, to noise, to touch and being in places where I feel people get too close to me physically. I feel threatened and get very irritable.

I've not been officially diagnosed and won't bother seeking it. I did an online test and it said 80% probability. I think if I'd done it 40 years ago it would be 100%!

I have found some advantages to being Aspergers it has enabled me to maintain a more objective perspective in situations where other people get tied into their own unique perception. It has enabled me to see patterns in things, that others fail to see.

It has been limiting, but I've found ways of being with myself and being with others. My life could have been a lot better, but no point in regretting it.

I don't know how old you are. I hope you get your diagnosis. That, hopefully, may be a first step in getting some help in dealing with the difficulties you experience. To be honest, you'll never be like neurotypicals.

You also should try to discover what your special talents are, and exploit them.

I am lucky that I have learned to be very skilful in communication and very articulate. It's superficial emotionally but a great advantage otherwise.

I joined this site hoping to come across other older people like myself, share ideas, get and give some support.

Unfortunately, I don't find there's much interaction going on in this particular community. Which, actually, you might expect in view of the topic. However, I am a member of another Healthunlocked community, Restless Legs, which I find quite involving. (I have restless legs syndrome too, and have had cancer).

Good luck with your diagnosis and I hope it leads to you improving your situation.

[Cara78 in reply to Hidden]

Hi Manvera, i really enjoyed reading your post! I liked what you said about exploiting any talents. Im now 40 and its time i get this assessment done so im going to doctors and she is going to refer me tomorrow as there is a notebin the files requesting one. I suffered terribly when younger but i shone in certain areas but i was so confused and lonley, sadly the drink got me because i did not know where to turn for help and just wanted to be like everyone else. This just led to disaster for me. Now im free from the clutches of alcohol and have rebuilt my life and am at the stage where im done pretending! Its such a relief to not act but i still get tripped up by it because I think i am ok and neuro typical then im reminded again im different,maybe someone tells a joke and i dont get it, oh gosh i used to dread the jokes. Its great to read such a positive post, thankyou.

[Hidden]

This is very much relatable. I may be a senior in college and have a great GPA, but I didn't take a normal path for that to happen. I never party, mostly because I don't have friends. I have to pay close attention to everything, even for things that may seem like common sense to others.

[Cara78 in reply to Hidden]

Hi, ive always lacked "common sense". Im clever enough but in life its helpful to have some of that common sense lol. Aspergers is rife in my family. I really struggled as a child and teens, i turned to alcohol to help me because my mum was always busy with my disabled sister growing up but hopefully todays kids will get the help they need so they dont feel the need to do that.

[Hidden]

I’m 53 and don’t have a diagnosis yet. My GP said ‘why do you need that?’ and then added ‘anyway, only children are diagnosed in Brazil’. How sad is that?

I want a formal diagnosis. I’m tired of explaining to people why I’m ‘different’. Most people are not educated on ASD in this country, but they trust doctors if they were gods, so an official diagnosis would be helpful.

[Cara78 in reply to Hidden]

Go for it. It may open doors for you.

[Cara78]

Hi, im getting referred for my assessment soon. Im 40 now and want to stop avoiding this and get it out the way, its definitely affected me growing up and its actually been a blessing on a few occasions. I prefer my own company, im not great in conversations and dont understand "small talk". Im obsessed with my vintage watch hobby and have to force myself out to meet with other people. I have a compulsion to be honest, maybe too much, i find jokes stressful. Im a weirdo lol. I always new i was different from my peers, i copied others to try and fit in and ended up confusing people. I dont like phone calling, id rather text, i have a thing with numbers and see patterns that mean things to me. My stress levels are alright if im organised in my own home, only family visit. Sometimes i really struggle with people but as im getting older im not as critical with myself as used to be because im aware im different however as a child it was painful and i told no one because I was too embarrassed and confused so i turned to alcohol which made things flow better at first but i always drank too much. Im not in a relationship at the moment because im happier on my own.

[Stella180]

I’m newly diagnosed after approximately a year. Getting the initial referral from the GP was the hardest part. I have heard in the Norfolk area there is a 3-4yr wait!!! I guess it varies across the country. I can relate to most of what you say. I’ve always known I’m a bit different and I embrace that but it is hard when you’d love to be able to “fit in” the way others seem to. I’m extremely lucky to have found an Aspie support group which finally gives me a safe place where I feel I belong. I don’t know where you live but may be worth looking for something similar in your area.