Yesterday was a very difficult day. We said are final farewell to my uncle. As I had the family together I chose to “come out” and tell them about my recent diagnosis of ASD. They would’ve been more accepting had I told them I was gay.
Apparently, in their eyes, there are too many “syndromes” around to excuse bad behaviour and in children they tend to grow out of it.
I was kinda shocked. I really don’t know what to say or do. Is this a regular reaction that people get?
No, but indifference is normal. ASD isn't of course a syndrome children grow out of: if it's been correctly diagnosed it's lifelong.
Maybe at that moment it was the one more thing they couldn't deal with. Ask yourself what it is you want them to do for you. Try and say it without naming your condition. Try: I have trouble with... And it would help if...
I just wanted to share the information of my diagnosis with my family. To have a conversation about it. Not to be told that it’s something made up. I’ve been very selective about who I’ve told about my diagnosis, and my family haven’t exactly reacted well. My sister, when I told her, said “well at least now you can get it sorted out”. I mean what!? Clearly she has no idea what ASD is and how it affects people. She’s not even asked about it since. Think I’ll be better of keeping it to myself like a dirty little secret.
Yes, it's rough that nobody gives a stuff. I do get it. I can feel your frustration, and it's understandable.
Don't think you're the only person who hasn't had a conversation with relatives. Let's say, one kind of response you may get would be something like, OK you may have ASD but you know I have my problems too so it's six of one and half a dozen. You show some interest in me and my problems (you may get told), and then maybe I'll show some in you.
The blunt truth is that people do have their own problems, and they have enough to be going on with without taking the trouble to find out about ASD or ask you how it's impacted you. The more often you have regular dealings with someone, the more likely they are to take an interest in your ASD because then it impacts them directly. If you only see them once in a while then they will feel it's not their problem. I wish the world wasn't like that, but it is. If your ASD is going to impact them, then they need to understand how and what they need to be doing about it. If it doesn't, they will feel (however wrongly) that your ASD is your problem.
Sorry to be the bearer of bad news. It doesn't mean you can't tell anyone, just that you need to think first about why they need to know.
I told my family & I don’t think they gave it much credence or thought one way or the other. It seemed it was only of academic interest so to speak to me. I am thinking that this stirs up worry about sharing such genes, so the reaction is “Do you really have this?” in a I don’t believe you tone.
I may be on the spectrum, either way it's not relevant to me anymore, I'm learning from my past behaviour, I've found an obsessive hobby, look after no1 and try not to place too much importance on what others think say or do, your all you've got, make it count for you, as long as you have manners in life most people will appreciate your quirkiness! I wish you well, I'm past wasting time on "how others view me".
