The effects of childhood bullying and asperger syndrome

[elanaoali]

After starting to read the book "the other hand asperger syndrome" came across last paragraph on socialising friends present and past. It was chilling when it described when asperger children don't have the bullying they suffer recognised and unreported. I was bullied from the age of 9-11 years old for a skin condition. Didn't tell my parents one of the bullies was a boy wwho was a teacher at the school. The lesson it talks about is that others are out to trick them to make fun of them and make them look stupid. (Not sure I believe this

As I had a sheltered childhood with being with a church environment at 18 years old with people who loved me and I could trust.

The one thing I suffered from like it's written I have suffered in the past with my husband that perceived cristism of themselves and it is this heightened sensitivity that partners may experience be first hand when trying to discuss how they f feel about a particular issue.

This explains why I perceived cristism without knowing the truth of what is being said. Bullying made me a sensitive person even more. Feeling like you can't do enough and what ever you do is not good enough. It's like trying to feed a beast who is always hungry. I never realised that bullying could be carried forward into the future. I.e young adult to now.

"Fascinating as Spock would say, Still loving finding out stuff and once I get my head around the implications of this and what it means,

[emmasue]

My husband and I both were bullied at school. We both suffer now decades later in different ways. With me, it seriously affected my confidence. I believed everything people said of me to the point where I felt completely useless. I have had to fight to overcome this and I am still fighting it. So when my son was bullied at school, I made an issue of it from the beginning. Fortunately, things have been better the past few years. He starts senior school next year though so I worry so much about how he will be. I still don't think people take bullying seriously enough. It's not about blaming the bullies and punishing them, it's about working with the bullies and the bullied to understand how treat other people and how they should be expected to be treated in return. More support should be available for those who have and are suffering from bullying than is available.

[elanaoali in reply to emmasue]

I am really sorry you and your husband had such a tough time when you were children and your son too. I agree that bullying is being treated better.

I decided after my experience I hated boys and I chose to go to girls school. I passed my entrance exam (I was privately educated thanks to my generous grandmother). It was an escape and I spent my secondary education without being bullied. I then went to technical college with a course populated by girls. Then I became a christian joined a church with lovely young men who treated me as a friend. I had one date with a lovely young man. Then I met my husband to be and he became my one and only boyfriend. Happy married for 22 years with three daughters. God has shown me through my journey of discovery of me and why I am the way I am.

I hope and pray your son is happy in secondary school. Believe that bullying is a subject that is in the open and children are listen to. Take care.

[emmasue in reply to elanaoali]

Thanks. All being well, he'll be going to a CofE school. Unfortunately it will cost us to bus him there, but I know, from talking to the other parents at church, that it is a good school. When one of the lads from church was being bullied on the bus, the school dealt with it right away and it hasn't happened again. It is going to cost us, but hopefully it will be worth it in the end. x

[elanaoali in reply to emmasue]

My daughters attend a C of E secondary school and I canot fault their pastoral care. Bully is been look at from both side bullies bully for various reason. I think my bully acted out as his mum was a teacher at my school. Saying that I know a few kids with teacher parents at same school. Doesnt meam they will be bulies. This teacher wasnt iiked by my sisters too. One day my writing wasnt up to standard I had messy writing left ends off words. Any was drag to see headmistress and I was in such a state I bit that teachers hand. The headmistress was very sensible and didnt give me the slipper. I was crying so hard i was hiccuping.

We have to pay for the bus for them (Although my oldest got a free bus pass as i was the neareat faith school) for five years. The cost of the bus passes has been worth every penny.

Glad to hear your son is doing well. I cant stand bullying but understand alot better. We are having that issue at my brownies. I pray that we can stamp it out too.

[emmasue in reply to elanaoali]

My bullies were the entire class, mostly the girls. I didn't fit in because I was bright but poor. The rich kids picked on me because I wore second hand clothes and the poor kids picked on me because I was in the top set academically. Once I got to high school (9th grade in America) it was better because there was a better mix of kids. It has never left me though. 😢

[elanaoali]

Dear Emmasue

I sorry to hear you had such a bad time at school. Bully is so horrible and can as with you can leave lasting effects. I hope and pray God will heal you and make you whole again. Thank you for your Friendship. I am leaving this forum as my daughter's school no longer thinks she is austic just having problems due to her social anxiety disorder. I have decided on reflection that I am not austic so won't be posting any more. Thank you for being my friend and Goodbye.

[maree12]

Hi ectopic1, I do agree with you that people who are the recipient of psychological and verbal bullying do not receive any where near the amount of assistance that those who are physically abused do. Apparently most people believe the rhyme sticks and stones will break my bones, but words can never hurt me. I, personally believe that words can hurt far more, and if you are physically abused, it is socially acceptable to retaliate physically, but if you are verbally abused and retaliate physically, you are blamed for having anger issues, when all you are doing is defending yourself.