I thought I could handle it....

[Stella180]

Hi this is my first post in this group and I apologise in advance for it being a long one. I’m a 43 year old female and hadn’t even considered I might be on the spectrum until about 18 months ago whena friend asked if I had ever been assessed as I showed several typical Aspies traits. I laughed it off as first but completed an AQ50 online and got a score in the low to mid 30s which started the cogs turning but was still in denial. Then a Mental Health Worker I was seeing earlier this year (I have depression and anxiety) also asked if I’d ever been assessed which again got me thinking about it. It’s like I have a huge question mark hanging over my head so I decided to chase it up with my GP and find out one way or another by getting assessed and diagnosed. What a pain that has been just to obtain a referral!

Anyhow, I had an initial assessment a couple of weeks ago and over the weekend received a letter detailing the opinions based on that first meeting. I have tried to blame a lot of my behaviour on anxiety but it was deemed that there were some traits which couldn’t be explained away so easily. They are offering support and further diagnostic sessions and now I’m starting to think I shouldn’t have started this process.

I’m totally aware that a diagnosis doesn’t really change anything from the point of view that it’s not a treatable condition as such and just part of who I am but not sure how I feel about another label being pinned to me as I have several health conditions as it is. I thought I could handle it whatever the outcome but now I’m not so sure. Seeing it in black and white and knowing I have more “testing” to come I don’t know if I want to go through with it but on the other hand I can’t go on with this question hanging over me and want an answer but maybe it’s not going to be the answer I want or expected when I started this journey. I’m literally torn in two over this and wish I could go back to blissful ignorance.

[fredikins]

Hi Stella, my aspergers traits were first realised when I was 59 ( you can read about this on my profile page if interested) this put all my failures in life into perspective and I'm glad I know, how these traits affect me now is I'm not sure even though I know about them, why trouble yourself any further as I think its only for others that an official diagnosis is necessary to be believed. Best wishes, Frederick.

[PearCider]

OK, there are two things here:

- knowing whether you have it or not, or at least being sure in your own mind.

- having a diagnosis.

There are reasons why you might want a diagnosis. The most obvious would be that you want recognition as effectively disabled. For example you might have had issues at work that are clearly due to ASD, and you might feel that without something official your boss might just think you're being awkward or have an attitude problem. You might have a partner who flatly refuses to believe that you have genuine issues. You might be having problems with relatives. One question a GP might ask is, if you had this diagnosis, how exactly would it help you? Well..... apart from knowing...... how would it?

If you're pretty sure you know you're ASD, you've done the online tests, you have high AQ, high SQ, high IQ, low EQ, you don't need a psychologist to spell it out.... then you may feel you're happy just knowing, and that's enough. When you get to the point where you know, yourself, then ask.... is this enough? or do I need it to be official?

I don't think there's necessarily anything wrong with saying, I've thought more about this, and I don't want a diagnosis because it might cause other complications; it might theoretically lead to immigration issues if you move to another country for example, or your boss might feel that an ASD diagnosis confirms his/her suspicion that you aren't able to carry out human relations aspects of your job. In the end it's your call.

[Hidden]

Hi well it's not just it being a "Treatable" thing but an understanding of it so you learn things for good or better and worse even so learn things that help/improve.

Avoid situations that make it worse or cause issues.

you'd be surprised on what it can cause issues with us?

One being sleep and internal issues!

I don't feel the cold which with Fibro where can't control your heating +/- and raynauds which sends body into a freeze so can get very cold even turning different colour yet not processing it but if a slight draft then frozen.

So they said keep eye on weather and put something on.

But there is so much to learn could be on here all night!

My Autism team which is run by Council we have a group session at local library once a month in the evening where going now we learn new things found out plus things like working with BTP/TFL over travel.

Much of the other things your saying about are part of Autism

In the Asperger's rtange we are deemed vulnerable people because the mind can be manipulated plus can be depressed to very aggressive in a very short time.

What area are you living in so can look things up for you if you'd like?

There is the Center at Islington also.