more help please

[sange]

does any others struggle with dreams and inability to comtrol thoughts and what things do you suggest we seek to do to bring my friend Irma to do

2 lack of energy and low motivation

thanks for and to all who reply each response helps ..she is 46 newly diagnosed has been treated with mental health in past times ..thank you trying to get NHS assesment now

[friendlylion]

I have dreams and I have thoughts. I am less troubled by either than in the past, but sometimes I do struggle to accept them. I think this is pretty 'normal' for anyone.

But I also know that I have made a concerted effort to get on top of these things.

It has taken a lot of time, considerable effort and not a little money. But I believe it has been worth it.

As you know, Sange, because you have been reading my responses (here and I hope also in Dyslexia Action on HealthUnlocked - although I might have misnamed it yesterday) I have recommended a number of activities for managing with life whilst challenged by what some see as 'conditions'.

There is no quick-fix. And part of the reason for this is that you can't change other's views, prejudices and behaviours, only your own - although we are just as 'powerless' to stop people adapting their views in response to our actions.

I'll just sum up a few things....

1) What you put in is what you get out.

Eat nourishing 'clean' food not 'junk' and take time to work out what food is good for you and what not.

Drink enough non-caffeine/ non-sugared (incl. alcohol) drinks to keep the brain hydrated so you can think clearly.

(I know we live in a consumer culture where we are encouraged to eat/drink what 'looks/tastes nice' rather than what is good for us but at any moment we have the CHOICE to chose not to play their game. Many 'autistic' people are better off without gluten (in various grains) or cassein (milk protein) and there are alternatives - although for some most carbohydrates and even fruit sugars etc. lead to 'foggy thinking' too. But the majority in the world only eat a few vegetables and maybe some rice every day.)

2) Dont expect to do it on your own.

Feeling alone can lead to overwhelm and helplessness. There are quite a few people who have devoted their lives to looking into all this stuff - or are reaching out with all this stuff - or both!

It may not be free, or even cheap at times, but problems shared are problems halved.

A lot of Aspie people are considered 'loners', 'anti-social' who don't talk about stuff etc. and maybe will need to change something. It might be 'difficult' or 'painful', but most growth doesn't 'just happen'! As a friend once said to me, 'When i was an alcoholic, if i didn't like a pub, i would go to every pub in the town if necessary til i found one i liked. its the same now i'm in recovery; if i go to a support group i don't think is so great, i'll keep looking til i find the right one for me'.

Sadly the 'mainstream' medical world are mostly extremely unenlightened especially in the area of 'autism'.

Dieticians, homeopaths, bodywork therapists, meditation / yoga / tai chi teachers and counsellors etc. can all help. But you will have to use some discernment as to who/what works for you.

And it will be YOU that does the work - albeit with their support/guidance.

3) Detoxify. (which is linked to 1 and 2 above)

We live in a highly polluted planet/environment.

Just starting to do 'good things' is probably not enough to deal with all the poisons that are already there and have to come out.

On one hand i'm talking about 'die-off' which is then name given to the toxins getting flushed from the body and which can leave us temporarily 'feeling worse'. (E.g .when i gave up caffeine I had a headache for 3 weeks. but that headache had been brewing with every cup of tea/coffee i had had in order to push the 'come-down' away!)

But I'm also talking about what else you do to yourself.

I'm writing on a computer and it is a fact that i am exposing myself to a lot of electromagnetic pollution as i do i don't spend so long on here nowadays and I try to balance the risks with the 'good' the kind of contact we are having can do. But lots of people are very lost in the internet. or in TV etc.

I once had a client who amongst other things mentioned she had nightmares of people wanting to kill her. I usually see my clients at their homes, and one day we met in the living room because the kitchen where we usually met was having some work done on it. All over her living room were magazines which purported to be factual about famous murderers and serial killers. I do sometimes watch/read detective fiction and i find it can help me learn about people's motives and interrelatedness, but I would stop if i thought it was interfering in my dream life or leading to paranoia etc.

Only read / watch / get involved in what feeds you positively.

You might need to drop foodstuffs, habits, activities, relationships if they don't serve.

There is a famous Native American story where a teacher/grandfather tells a young boy of 2 wolves that are inside him fighting. One is light-coloured and full of good qualities, the other is dark, more self-serving and cruel. The boy asks, 'Grandfather, which one will win?' He replies, 'The one you feed!'

Personally, I find an hour connecting in nature is infinitely more rewarding than a whole night in front of the box where though i might feel entertained, i'm not really connected and probably am pretty drained. Maybe i could sit down and write a story/drama/documentary or something instead?

well, that was a lot more than i meant, so to sum up even more...

calm down

relax

notice your breath

slow down

keep breathing

what do you actually want to do?

make sure that you put energy into doing THAT!

as ever, i hope this helps

but no it can never be 'the last word' on the subject

By the way, if it helps, I am 47, diagnosed within last 12 months, and though previously diagnosed with 'anxiety' and 'depression', suspected I was 'Aspie' ever since I started working with 'autistic' kids and thinking that the kids were much more close to my 'normal' than their parents' 'normal', and then reading further on the subject.

Personally, I think we are ALL on 'the autistic spectrum' but that some of us exhibit behaviours that are considered more 'abnormal' or 'classically autistic' than others. Notwithstanding that some end up in situations/positions/jobs where obsessive attention to detail or seemingly having self-belief or disregard for the opinions of others makes one 'successful' so it doesn't such an become an issue.

[Norseman22 in reply to friendlylion]

I have an easier idea for intrusive thoughts. I too have ASD late life diagnosis. I wear a "worry" elastic band on my wrist and if I find myself bothered by automatic thoughts I give my band a wee snap and distract myself onto some activity. I do eat a good diet with high protien low carbs and lots of raw fruit and veg daily. No Wheat, barley or rye and I only manage to digest oats as my only grain product.