Baby no.2 countdown!

[Wiwa21]

Hello ladies! I hope everyone has either had lovely Christmasses or just feeling relieved it’s over or a bit of both…

I am currently 39+4 weeks pregnant and awaiting arrival of baby no. 2. Together with my partner, various health professionals and other (peer) support I have a super sound mental healthcare plan in place, consisting of both a preventative plan and also a care plan should I become unwell again like I did in 2021 after my firstborn. I am feeling fine physically and generally also feeling fine mentally plus I still sleep and nap quite all right for this stage of pregnancy. So there is lots of faih, trust and good hope but yeah of course the risk remains and sometime I think about the scenario of another psychosis….

I find the waiting game for this baby much more challenging though. Whereas last time I quite easily went 1 week overdue. I guess this is because of a mixture of things. Firstly cause looking after a toddler (over the December holidays) while pregnant is a bit different than binge watching Netflix 3 years ago (oh gosh first time mom is so much easier in that regard hahah), because I feel ready and prepared and perhaps also cause it gives opportunity for doubt and a bit of anxiety to kick in. I am generally not super patient either…

Anyway, I spoke to my psychologist a few days ago and my analogy for my feeling was a sport analogy… it feels like I have trained for and am fit and ready to run a mountain marathon, I have a game plan, I have my supporters, the right shoes…. it’s all there. But no one told me when the start shot is going to be fired so I am just waiting and the start line. Not sure whether this makes sense, perhaps people who have run races can relate.

So I guess this is not really a post with a question in mind, I suppose I am just looking for some kind and reassuring messages from this lovely group while I wait for natural labour to come around (as I prefer that).

Lots of love,

X

[Maria_at_APP Moderator]

Hi Wiwa21, your post is so relatable, its the last weeks but it can drag a lot when you are there. I hope you also had a lovely Christmas but can relax now that the pressure is off.

I found a couple of things helped me to centre when I was waiting, I used to listen to a playlist I made for the bump, putting my phone near the belly so he could listen too; I was never one to nest, but I did find that batch cooking was something I enjoyed doing every now and then for pleasure, not just the practicals; and as for entertaining baby number one I stock up on playdough and craft things that she could more or less do independently (the gap between my kids is 3 years, so on second thought this may not be as relevant).

Its difficult to think of anything else but the arrival of baby sometimes and that on its own can be exhausting. But it will pass reasonably fast. You have a great plan in place already, so your job has been done, try to wind down as much as possible, and yes watch some Netflix while your toddler goes to the park with daddy.

Sending you best wishes,

Maria

[Wiwa21 in reply to Maria_at_APP]

Thanks so much Maria - really nice to read :). These two boys will also be exactly 3 years apart so play dough is a good one. I’ll also ask daddy to take him out a bit more. My husband was sick so that wasn’t really helpful but he’s at the better hand now. Nursery opens again on the 2nd of January so that will give some more time to put my feet up too. I guess it’s a matter of staying patient ☺️👍 xxx

[Maria_at_APP Moderator in reply to Wiwa21]

Oh how lovely, it's a great gap. My boy was born in October of 2021 and now with 2 and 5 they interact better with each other, they also have their own private jokes and that is fun to watch. Of course, there is the inevitable hair pulling and shoving every now and then, which is part of growing up.

Thank God for early starts of nursery :), hope you manage some rest, take good care

[Survivedwithcolor]

I remember well that period of waiting! It’s enough to drive anyone a little mad. It sounds like you have prepared as much as anyone can prepare. Well done you. I doubt there’s anything you can do except just monitor your feelings. I don’t know if you have ever kept a journal but one thing that might be helpful is to spend a few minutes writing each day, and allow your significant other access to that. They may be able to pick up on something before you do. It’s just an idea. Have lots of help from family and friends or someone to help with household tasks. Anyone can clean your home; you need to heal, care for and bond with the baby. Maybe consider bottle feeding or pumping your extra breast milk so that someone else can get up with the baby at least once a night and give you extra sleep. Lack of sleep I think is one thing that really contributed to my condition that I might have been able to do something about.

Best of luck with the birth and trust your instincts with how things are going. Motherhood is challenging even when it goes perfectly so you’re wise to prepare.

[Wiwa21 in reply to Survivedwithcolor]

Thanks so much for your reply! I like the diary, idea. I will discuss that with my partner

We have all the help (close family and even a cleaner) in place for the first few weeks postpartum. So that I think is sorted. Breastfeeding, bottle feeding and/or pumping is still an undecided one. I want to try to BF at least a little bit but do have written in my plan that sleep goes over the feeding method and if needed we can combine or we just end up bottle feeding. In that regard I consider my own sleep and mental health paramount! Thanks for your message! Xxx

[Survivedwithcolor in reply to Wiwa21]

If you can get in even a few days of BF that is beneficial to the health of the baby. Someone recently shared with me a podcast with two biologists talking about the human microbiome. Getting baby started on breast milk can really give that gut a good start. Lactation consultants will tell you not to supplement with formula, but this is a special circumstance. You might even be able to get creative and combine the two just to get those beneficial antibodies in. The important thing, which you already know, is to take care of yourself. I loved nursing my babies and it was by far my favorite part of being a new mom. But millions of babies have grown up on formula and are just fine, my own grandson included. So you do what you have to do. 😊

[MotherOfBears in reply to Survivedwithcolor]

Just to add to this. I had an awesome lactation consultant help us out when my second was born. She is very experienced and is the feeding lead at Guys and St Thomas’s in London! She says that combi feeding is underrated. It’s a great strategy that many (or most) people don’t consider… if you cannot or do not want to breastfeed exclusively.

It’s the option we used to help me manage my sleep when both of them were born. I would go to bed at 8pm straight after a breast feed, then husband would do a feed a few hours later and do the rocking/sleeping in arms etc and got a bit of sleep while newborn slept. Then from about 2am I was on duty again

Anyway I firmly believe “fed is best” and however it works for your individual family but just thought maybe sharing my experience might help!

Sending all the best wishes xx

[Survivedwithcolor in reply to MotherOfBears]

I think lactation consultants are afraid that once people start supplementing they will quit BF, and it’s true that if you’re putting out less milk the body makes less milk. However they are not taking into account the mental health of the mother and in circumstances like ours, that becomes more critical. Total BF is wonderful for babies but it ties you down big time and requires round the clock feeding - meaning less sleep for mom. Mom has to be healthy first and the more I hear about how many women are struggling with PD and PP the more I think that we need to allow moms to be flexible for their own sakes.

[Irishgirl1710 Volunteer]

Wiwa, what an insightful post which is so relatable. I hope everything goes well when baby decides to make an appearance. I was unwell in 2019 after having my first child and now have a 5 month old daughter. I chose a slightly different route and had a planned induction, which made me feel more in control of when labour started.

My husband was also off for 6 weeks post birth which was amazing because it was in the summer holidays. He spent quality time with our older child while i bonded with baby. Very kind friends also supplied us with a lot of food for tbe first couple of weeks.

Like i said, all the best

[Rainbow9725 in reply to Irishgirl1710]

Hi hope you're well.

May I ask if you went on medication pre or post birth or did you wait it out and find you in fact didn't need the medication?

Thank you

Take care x

[Irishgirl1710 Volunteer in reply to Rainbow9725]

I chose to stay off medication during my pregnancy.As I was experiencing some anxiety, post birth I am now on 50mg Sertraline

[Rainbow9725 in reply to Irishgirl1710]

That's what I would ideally like to do too. No judgement to anyone who chooses to go on during pregnancy as it has to work for your personal circumstances but I would just like to avoid it if I can but of course if it's needed I wouldn't hesitate.

I was on Sertraline for a short time. Have you found that's helped with the anxiety?

X

[MotherOfBears in reply to Rainbow9725]

It helped my anxiety, if it helps to kmow my experience. And sertraline is known for being good for anxiety

[Cheryl-2021 Volunteer]

Hello Wiwa21 👋

I am not a runner but that anology makes perfect sense. I think your set up for preparation sounds amazing, and extremely supportive. I had a similar support plan and I found it made a huge difference when the baby arrived.

I also found being open and honest about everything I was feeling and not internalising thoughts also helped. Because a few things I beleived were signs of psychosis coming back, was reassured that it wasn't.

Exciting times ahead for you in the New Year. I hope your new arrival doesn't keep you waiting too long 💜

[Rainbow9725]

Wishing you all the best with your journey now and going forward!x

What is your plan post baby? Will you go on medication as a preventative or will you try and avoid medication if you can.

Take care, x

[Wiwa21 in reply to Rainbow9725]

Hiya! I’ll go on a very low dose of preventative antipsychotics post delivery. (Haloperidol 1.5mg once a day at nighttime). That’s the meds I used in 2021 but I had weaned off already in full for 1.5 year before falling pregnant again. So medication during pregnancy was never really considered in my case and the wait and see versus a low preventative dose was a personal preference. This just gives me slightly more confidence that’s why I chose to do it. There is heaps of good info on this on this forum and the APP website. Or you can check in with volunteers

Xx

[Rainbow9725 in reply to Wiwa21]

That's great you have a very good plan in place and I'm guessing you have a great team a long side you?

May I ask if Haloperidol causing any unwanted side affects like weight gain? I've really struggled with that on Olanzapine and it really knocks my confidence.

X

[RachelK_at_APP Moderator]

hi wiwa21

Hope you are doing ok, the last few weeks of pregnancy are tough, especially with a child already as well.

I had pp back in 2016 and went on to have another child in 2020. I know what you mean when you feel you are all prepared for everything that may or may not happen.

It sounds like you’ve got a good supportive team around you which is good.

Good luck

Looking forward to hearing the baby news!

RK

[YellowBanana09]

nothing very helpful to add but sending you lots of love and good wishes with baby number two! I was so similar to you second time around, 6 days late…. 😭 if it helps I had no relapse second time round (although I did go straight onto olanzapine after birth) and found it a very healing experience xxx

[Maria_at_APP Moderator]

Hi Wiwa21, have been thinking of you, take very good care, hope things have continued to go well for you and that the wait has not dragged too much.

Maria

[Wiwa21 in reply to Maria_at_APP]

The wait was dragged a little but he joined us earthside eventually 💙👍

[Wiwa21]

hi lovely ladies! I just wanted to let everyone know I had my baby at 41+1 at 9 jan 2024, and he’s an absolute beauty! We have had such a good start and I am extremely grateful for the positive experience so far. My biggest risk window was the first two weeks and I am nearly there and doing so well so far!!! Last time I was in an MBU at day 10 so I even managed to go out and have a glass of bubbles to celebrate that wasn’t the cases with my own husband, two sons and my parents. I feel very grateful for their support, and support of healthcare team and all, including this peer support platform. So yeah! Thanks a lot and let me attach a photo of me and my bundle of joy! ☺️💙 xxx Willemijn PS I posted a photo on the platform once before and was made aware that can be risky. But I aan an open mental health advocate and publically speak about my experiences for those interested my platform handle is also my social media handle!

Selfie

[Jenny_at_APP Partner in reply to Wiwa21]

What a lovely photo 💙 I’m so glad things are going well and you have such good support around you. Take good care and enjoy those cuddles 🥰

Love to both of you xx

[MotherOfBears in reply to Wiwa21]

So glad to hear you are well. Go you!!

[Rachel_at_APP Partner APP in reply to Wiwa21]

Morning Wiwa21,

Huge congratulations on the birth of your son, what a wonderful warm photo, thank you for sharing your news. Really glad to hear you’re doing well.

Take care, rest and snuggle in that newborn bubble.

Rachel x

[Maria_at_APP Moderator]

Hi Wiwa21, massive congratulations, gorgeous photo. I am so glad you are doing so so well, it's wonderful. Take very good care and enjoy the cuddles. Maria

[Lilybeth Volunteer]

What a star you are Wiwa21 .... congratulations on the birth of your son !!

Wishing you and your family every happiness.

Take care and rest when you can. 🦋

[Ellie_at_APP Partner]

Dear Wiwa21

It's so lovely to see your beautiful photo and to hear you're doing well. Congratulations!

Take care,

Ellie X

[Wiwa21 in reply to Ellie_at_APP]

Dear Ellie! So nice to hear from you! Thanks a lot, it is so nice to finally be able to enjoy that beautiful baby bubble ☺️💙👶 xxx