Hi all - I'm more of a lurker than a poster (though when I do post thanks for all the awesome responses) but with baby number 2 coming so soon I'm starting to feel - nervous? Mostly I haven't been feeling anything. I'm not excited. This is more like a highly planned mission than an enjoyable life event.
I had PPP in Nov 2013 with first bub - impatient for 3 months, two rounds ECT, six months olanzapine and a year until my anxiety subsided enough that I felt 'me' and then oops... So number 2 due.
There's a detailed plan, I have an involved psych who specializes in perinatal psychiatry, an obstetrician who specializes in high risk pregnancy, a psychologist I know very well and trust, planned outreach from maternal nurses, huge family support.... it couldn't be better to reduce my risk.
BUT it's still there. This voice screaming inside my head, cursing and wailing and crying 'I CAN'T DO THIS AGAIN'. I'm not manic, I'm not depressed, I'm not psychotic, I'm not alone, I'm also just not - how I wanted to be at this point.
Anyone relate? Any be happy and connect with myself and my new baby tips?
I have spoken to the professionals above but I think in all honesty they just don't quite get it (probably since neither do I) so I was hoping those who have been here before could offer some wisdom?
Thanks in advance