I’m new and I just took my wife to ER for PP

[Silencer002]

It’s been one day and I am so lost and don’t know how to help my wife. She is currently in a hospital in an inpatient unit part of their mental ward. So far she is just sleeping and not doing to much. She called me twice and the calls are very upsetting. She almost doesn’t know who I am or what’s real and fake. I feel like I’ve lost her and she will never be back. How I am suppose to comfort her and help her if she doesn’t trust me any more. Any advice will help.

[hgallo Volunteer]

Hi Silencer002

Welcome to the forum. You'll find lots of support here from people who've been through it. You made a brave decision to take her to the ER, PP should be treated as a psychiatric emergency and usually requires inpatient treatment. Are you in the UK?

I was admitted to a Mother and Baby Unit in 2016 and stayed there with my twin babies for 9 weeks. I was also diagnosed with PP. It is an illness that unfortunately makes reality and non-reality hard to distinguish. It can be very debilitating in the acute phase, usually 2 to 12 weeks, but the good news is you can recover, as I did, and in time get back to being a normal family again.

There's some really usual information on APP's website on PP and a leaflet for partners. Here is the link:

app-network.org/what-is-pp/...

Have you got family support? Please try and take care of your own needs too and keep in touch with us, things will get better in time.

[Lilybeth Volunteer]

Hello Silencer002

So pleased you have found the forum where you will find lots of advice and support. I'm so sorry you are feeling lost. It is a shame that the joy of a baby should be tarnished by such an awful illness. Are you in the UK?

I had PP twice many years ago and it was a very stressful time for my family as my behaviour was so out of character and I had delusions and hallucinations. When I was in the midst of PP it was all very real and frightening and hard for anyone to understand.

I wonder if you have seen the PP Insider Guides "Recovery after Postpartum Psychosis" and "Postpartum Psychosis : A Guide for Partners" which might be helpful at this time? The link is app-network.org/what-is-pp/.... On the page you will also find links to frequently asked questions and personal experiences which might give you an insight into such a traumatic illness.

I imagine your wife is sleeping due to medication to keep her stable? I was also in a mixed general psychiatric ward as there were no mother and baby units at the time, so was without my sons.

Do you have support for yourself if you are caring for your newborn? Congratulations by the way

I know it doesn't seem like it at the moment when you are receiving such upsetting calls from your wife but PP is a temporary and very treatable illness. With good medical care your wife will eventually recover. We are all here to support you if you would like to talk again at any time.

For now, take good care of yourself ..... your wife will get better in her own time.

[Arabella-]

How extremely upsetting for you.

I had PP four months after my eldest daughter was born. Like the other ladies, knowing what was real and what reality wasn’t, was very hard to distinguish between.

It may take several months for her to get better, but she will get there.

Just try to care for yourself right now, try to find things you enjoy doing and talk to trusted loved ones about what’s happening.

Sometimes just listening to her rants can help relieve her mind (my husband and father were great at this).

Who is caring for the baby? Xx

[Silencer002]

latest news I have is that after 2 nights in the hospital and being cared for and finally agreeing to take medication she is doing a lot better. She seems to be lucid again and is aware of what she did to a degree. It seems like she was in and out of it for about two weeks but didn’t get really bad until a few nights ago when I took her to ER. I had friends help out with watching our son and he is back with me tonight. I am really hoping that her case is mainly sleep deprivation but I know she was having hallucinations and delusions and other symptoms. The doctor isn’t quite sure if it was PP or just sleep deprivation and an episode of mania. I don’t quite agree with him because he is not really a postpartum specialist. Due to my situation here in japan I don’t really have access to an MBU or something like that. She is at a hospital in an inpatient ward and she has a great staff taking care of her. She called me tonight and said she is feeling a lot better after medication and said she doesn’t think she will need to be there for much longer but I think she needs 2-5 days minimum before thinking that. It almost scared me because I wasn’t sure if she might be having another moment or if she is lucid. At least she is getting better and just having a few visits and conversations with her is a huge relief.

[NanaJudith_APP_Vol Volunteer]

Hello Silencer 002'

I am so sorry that your wife has been admitted to hospital with Postpartum

Psychosis, you must be very worried, but she is in the right place, there or

in a Mother and Baby Unit. It is such an awful illness, but she will get better.

My daughter suffered with it three years ago, she is well now, being a great mum, back working and volunteering. You are doing great, being there and

supporting. My daughter said it helped enormously that her family were supporting that we took in photographs and special things to remind her who she was. I also took in a lavender eye pillow that seemed to be of comfort.

Recovery can be up and down and they are all different but you will find great support from the fab Mums here. I am so glad that you found APP. Congratulations on your new born, I hope you have family and friends to help.

Best wishes

judith

[Sally_at_APP Administrator]

Dear Silencer002,

I am so glad you have found the forum in what must be a scary time for you. It is great that your wife is doing a bit better and agreeing to take medication and that you have friends and support around you too.

I had postpartum psychosis in 2015 after the birth of my daughter. It came on quite quickly and I was admitted to a general psychiatric hospital too. I had moments of very strong hallucinations and delusions and then moments of lucidity, where I could remember and work out what had happened to me. As NanaJudith has said, everyone is different, but recovery can be a bit up and down.

My husband thought at the time that he lost me forever, and that must have been so heart-breaking for him. I think one of the things that helped him, was to know that I would get better, which gave him hope. It is a scary time for your wife, yourself, family and friends, but keep that in your mind if you can. It is important to take things slowly and to know that recovery can take a little while.

I can assure you that your wife will get better from this and so many ladies and those affected by PP on here will be able to tell you the same thing. I am glad she is feeling a bit better and having visitors. Please do keep writing on here when you need, we are here to support you and your wife,

Do take care,

Sally x

[Lilybeth Volunteer]

Hello Silencer002

Good to hear that your wife is feeling better after agreeing to take medication ... that must be a relief for you. We are fortunate in the UK that there is more awareness of PP now than when I was hit by it years ago. It must be difficult to find support in Japan.

I wonder if you contact Postpartum Support International at postpartum.net you might find local support? If you go to the web page, scroll down and click on 'Postpartum Psychosis Help" and then under 'Get Help" choose 'Find local support and Help' and then click 'International'. There are various countries listed, one of which is Japan, and if you click there you will find the name of a local co-ordinator with an email contact.

I'm sure your wife is anxious to be home with you and your son but I think you are wise to see how she is in a few more days. I did go home too early at one stage but had to return to hospital as I wasn't quite ready to cope with routine and a newborn. I think we have all taken different routes to recovery, some quicker than others.

It's good that you have friends supporting you. Take care ... we are all thinking of you and here to listen.

[Silencer002 in reply to Lilybeth]

I have been talking to PSI and they are really helping me through this and I am understanding so much more. When she is home I am going to have them talk on the phone quite a bit because I think that is one thing that will really help.

[Lilybeth Volunteer in reply to Silencer002]

Hello Silencer002, I'm so glad to hear that PSI are really helping you understand so much more. I think it makes such a difference to talk on the phone to someone who really understands and to see the glimmer of hope.

Recovery from PP is such an uphill struggle at times and I think it will make all the difference for your wife to be able to speak to someone on the phone when she feels ready. There is a brilliant blog with lots of info, clips and experiences at "PP Soup" - a nourishing mix of all things PP, at ppsoupdotcom.wordpress.com which might also be helpful.

Sending best wishes across the miles to you and your family. We are here to 'talk' if it helps .... take care.

[Pikorua Volunteer]

Hello Silencer002,

my thoughts are with you and your wife. Obviously peri/post natal mental health care does vary from country to country.

I was sectioned to a hospital in 2010 with acute PPP. I also wanted to leave hospital, because my care was inappropriate and unreasonable. However, I do feel that your wife receives sufficient treatment reflecting on the way how you describe her current situation.

It is important to continuously communicate with the health professionals, but also regular visits, lots of interactions and reassurance with/for your wife. I hope there is some sort of return to home procedure, which then could give you an indication of how well you can sort out your wife's home care including care plan.

You see, I was extremely poorly for a long time and my partner was my full time carer. Yet, everybody has got a different journey of recovery.

Take good care, wishing you well.

[Maria_at_APP Moderator]

Hi Silencer002,

I am very sorry that your wife is showing symptoms of pp. But I am glad that she is feeling more herself when you last talked to her. Also it sounds very encouraging that you write you have a good relationship with her care team and that she is trusting them and taking the medication. All this is really very positive.

I had pp 2 years ago and was sectioned in a general psychiatric unit for a short while before going to an mbu (I am in the UK). While I was an impatient the things I looked forward to the most were the visits from my husband and brother. They brought me so much solace. We would have a chat or sit together in perfect silence having a coffee. Later on when I was allowed to go out, walking together to the local supermarket and getting a few things. Sounds like baby steps what I mention, but that's what recovery gets built upon.

18 months later I am recovered, I have a gorgeous daughter who drives me up the wall when she throws yet another temper tantrum just to draw a smile on my face when she giggles 5 seconds later.

Pp for all its extreme manifestations is a very treatable illness and recovery is full, your wife will go back to herself and has already taken huge steps on the road to recovery.

Take care of yourself at this point in time and let your wife know that you are there for her. Whenever you need to write we are here for you

[Jake19]

Hi Silencer002...I'd just like to say how amazing you are just dealing with this very difficult situation.

Could you speak to the staff on the ward and ask that she has someone there after the phone call finishes to support her? Also, I'm thinking of you, Do you have anyone in the household that can support you emotionally? If not, a phone call to a friend or relative? It may be difficult opening up, I understand that.

Just be reassured that your wife is in the right place, and if shes sleeping, then that's a very good, positive start.

In time, your wife's confusion and paranoia should decrease. I presume she is on medication?

Please let us know how she is getting on and don't hesitate to reach out again for some support.

[Lilybeth Volunteer]

Hello Silencer002

Just thinking of you and hope your wife is slowly recovering from such an awful time after your son was born. I hope you have support for yourself and PSI is continuing to be helpful with regular contact. Take very good care and stay safe.

[Silencer002]

So the wife is back home as of yesterday and she seems to be getting better slowly. She is on medication and is still having some hard moments and confusion and paranoia. It is very difficult for me some times because I feel like I am wearing thin, and it’s a lot of hard work. I feel drained physically and mentally supporting her and the baby. I. Not really sure what she has anymore, was it ppp or was it some other kind of break? The doctor didn’t really diagnose it as ppp but I don’t know how confident I am in that.

[Lilybeth Volunteer]

Hello Silencer002

Looks like our posts crossed! I'm sorry your wife is having a hard time with confusion and paranoia but think it's very early days after such a trauma. Recovery can be very up and down as you will see from the "PP guide for partners" link given earlier at app-network.org/what-is-pp/.... I'm sorry you don't have a definitive diagnosis but on the page mentioned you will see 'Early symptoms of Postpartum Psychosis' which might be helpful to compare.

I'm not surprised you are worn out with such a lot to cope with, supporting your wife and looking after your son. It must be such an ordeal for you at the moment as it was for my husband years ago. To a degree I was switched off to what was really happening as I was so ill but my husband went through the reality of having to watch me 24/7 and be on hand to nurse our newborn and care for our six year old son. Eventually he did have help from family.

Are you able to find support from friends, just to talk about how you feel rather than letting it build up in your head, or do you have family to talk to for support? It goes without saying that you can always 'talk' here as we all understand how hard it is. Are you still in contact with PSI for support?

Hopefully when your wife's medication takes effect she will feel more settled. I wonder if your wife was offered a review at the hospital to see whether the medication is working? I'm not sure about after care in Japan and all hospitals are very busy at the moment.

I hope your wife continues to feel a bit better. To know you are there for her will be such a comfort but do take care of your own health too.

[Lilybeth Volunteer]

Hello Silencer002

Just checking in to see how you are coping with your wife who is slowly recovering from such a traumatic illness. Have you managed to find any support for yourself, a friend who can pop round for a chat, although you might be isolated due to restrictions? I'm sorry it must be so difficult for you with everything on your shoulders.

Thankfully if your wife does have PP it's a temporary and very treatable illness .... but I'm sure that feels a long way off in these early days. Take care and stay safe .... thinking of you and your family.

[Silencer002]

So yesterday was a really bad day with the delusions again and I was stressed out beyond belief. I had several people to talk to “to get me off the ledge” and I calmed down a bit. She is still very ill and still doesn’t really realize it. She doesn’t want to take any more medication but she still is and she doesn’t want to go to counseling or oft her appointments but she has too. She thinks that just being with family would help even though that’s not possible at this time. I am having a hard time getting through to her I am starting to wonder if this is more related to postpartum bi polar disorder. Idk I’m not a doctor. Whatever it is I think increasing medication will help level her mind out a bit. Today has been a good day though. Just kept it calm and tried to not distract her mind from too many things cause she can’t focus on one thing. She is taking a good nap, I know sleep is super important. I just hope bed time and everything tonight is smooth and she goes to the doc tomorrow.

[Lilybeth Volunteer]

Hello Silencer002

Thanks for taking time to reply. I'm so sorry yesterday was a really bad day but it's good that you reached out for support for yourself. I'm not surprised you were stressed out with so much going on.

I think I was a nightmare for my husband as my delusions must also have been so frightening for him too. Although when we are so ill, as your wife is, we don't realise how much stress we are causing. The delusions are all very real and frightening to your wife, as they were for me. In the end I retreated to bed as no one believed me! Eventually, after the doctors tried various medications, one was found which worked and my delusions faded over time.

I was so argumentative, shouting and demanding which is not like the real 'me' at all. I've read from my notes that I refused to go to appointments and in one case where outpatient treatment had been arranged, my husband had to ring the hospital the night before to cancel!

I'm not sure about your thoughts that it might be related to bipolar as I'm not a medic either.

I'm glad you have had a better day today. I found it very hard to focus on things so I think keeping things calm is a good idea. Her mind has been turned upside down and it will take a while for it to settle. I hope the increase in medication will help to keep her stable and she can have a restful sleep tonight, willing to go to the docs tomorrow. Please look after yourself and try to stay strong, I hope you manage to sleep too although it's not easy with a new baby to care for too. Keep talking to the people who helped yesterday ..... we are all here too and understand how hard it must be for you. Take care.

[Maria_at_APP Moderator]

Hello Silencer002,

I am sorry things are so hard for you and your wife at the moment. And I can understand how frustrating it must be to not have got a definite diagnosis yet. My diagnosis of pp took a long time too, it came a month after being treated by the medical team. Sounds very tough, but try as much as possible to keep that off your mind, as much as you can, and look at the positives, she is sleeping which is the most important, and she is still taking the medication although she doesn't want to. It is a very hard time for everyone around the world, even more for your wife; of course you both miss your family and could do with their help at this so difficult of times. To reassure you as Lilybeth has done, recovery from pp is a very up and down journey, there are good and bad days, unfortunately. You are an amazing husband and dad, and I am sorry that your journeys into parenthood took such a start. However, this hard patch you are going through at the moment is going to be just a very small part of your lives as parents and couple.

I hope the doctors appointment went well yesterday and that the care plan for your wife is moving along.

Take good care, thinking of you

[Lilybeth Volunteer]

Hello Silencer002

I hope you are ok. Did your wife see the doctor today for a review? I hope she was a bit more settled today after a night's sleep and you weren't too disturbed. During my delusions I would wake in the middle of the night and draw the curtains, believing it was morning and I don't think my husband had much sleep!

Although traumatic for you and your wife at the moment, as Emimum said this is a very small part of your lives, and you will be much stronger together eventually. It must be very reassuring for your wife to have you by her side.

Thinking of you ..... take care.

[Silencer002]

So today was another good day, these days almost wash away the bad ones and fill me with hope. We went to the doctor and got a care plan in place and we will be seeing another on Friday, I think a psychotherapist. We’ll go over medication and other stuff. I did get a call from them and they upped the zyprexa and started the anti depressants again. So I’m hoping that helps suppress some of the delusions. We only had a few sad and upset moments, but, it wasn’t anything I couldn’t comfort and talk her through. She still thinks a few things are funky, like technology is tailored to her and “we” are up to something. I just tell her I am and that I’m planning ways to help her and I’m guiding her through the fog. She is sad that our son can’t be home a lot these past few days, but the doctor recommended no nights with him just until things stabilize a little more. I’ve never been worried about her harming our little guy, so that’s good. I’ve had good friends to help out with that. So I’m praying for another good day tomorrow and for more progress. Doc says her progress and insight to symptoms is a really good sign. Thank you all for the continued support!

[Lilybeth Volunteer]

Hello Silencer002

I think eventually the good days outweigh the bad ones. It must be such a relief that today was another good one and there is now a care plan in place. I was on different medications before the right balance was found that worked for me, antipsychotics and anti depressants.

That must have been so reassuring to your wife, when she heard that you are planning ways to help and guide her through the fog ..... such a good description of what PP is. It's a shame that your son can't be home at night for now but I think it's probably to make sure your wife gets as much sleep as she can ..... you too! Good friends are so helpful to lean on.

I hope your wife has a restful sleep tonight and another good day tomorrow. I think it's a really good sign that she is communicating with you so well ..... I was quite switched off for a while and on another planet! Take care, we are happy to be here for you.

[InspiredWoman]

Hi. I went through PP myself. It is hard, but it will get better. Give her time and be patient. Be as positive as you can right now, she needs it.

Feel free to message me.

[Lilybeth Volunteer]

Hello Silencer002

I hope today was another good day for you and your wife .... although only morning here in the UK I think if you keep doing what you're dong with reassurance, your wife will feel very comforted by your words.

I hope the doctor's appointment goes well tomorrow and you will feel supported too. Take care and lean on your friends .... we are also here if it helps.

[Lilybeth Volunteer]

Hello Silencer002

I hope you have had a good weekend and your wife is slowly recovering with your loving support. Thinking of you ..... take care.

[Pikorua Volunteer]

Hello Silencer,

it has been a while since I've been writing. It is a busy time with home schooling and now I enjoy my partner's company for another few days till he is back on shift.

My life had been a fog for at least one year and my partner was my full time carer. I am always amazed about you wonderful husbands and partners. Your compassion and caring nature is admirable, but also proof of your love to your other half and children.

Communication with health professionals and an agreed care plan with an ongoing routine was very helpful. My partner was tracking my moods and meds. He was very observational, -yes it had been very stressful as I still was so poorly and on heavy traditional drugs after a terrible ordeal of nearly 40 days in a psychiatric unit.

There will be light at the end. My son is 9, despite my Bipolar 1, we are a unique nuclear family network. Our relationship is as solid as an eternal lock...nothing can blow our minds anymore, even the present situation of pandemic...

Take good care of yourself and hope you connect with friends and find therapeutic avenues to keep your own mental and physical health in check.

[Lilybeth Volunteer]

Hello Silencer002

Although early days, I hope your wife is slowly improving on the increased dosage of medication. Please remember to take care of yourself at what must be a very stressful time for you. I hope you are still having support from PSI and your friends. Thinking of you .......

[Lilybeth Volunteer]

Hello Silencer002

I hope you have found the virtual support here helpful and your wife is having some good moments. I'm sure you must be very busy but do take care of yourself too.

[Silencer002]

It has been a little while since I posted.... things have been a lot better on the home front. I have been off work since it all happened and just doing my best to support my son and wife. She has been doing great! I believe the meds are helping a lot and me being here to support and take care of the kiddo if things get to stressful are key to helping her in this time. As things get better I forget a little to remember the people that helped me through the tough times. I’m cherishing the good days we are having and they seem to be getting better. My wife is back already and not too long ago I really felt as if she was gone forever. Amongst all of this we definitely had a spiritual transformation which is great for us, it was like god smacked us with a cast iron pan in the back of the head. I hope we don’t have any relapses into some of the stuff that was going on before. I am thankful for the progress she has made and that our little family is healing and doing better each day. Thank you lilybeth for being so supportive and everyone else in our time of crisis.

[Lilybeth Volunteer]

Hello Silencer002

Thank you so much for taking time out to post ..... so happy to hear that things are a lot better at home and you are cherishing the good days.

I think you're right. The key has been having your loving support in guiding your wife through the fog you once described and being a calming influence in her time of need. You have done so well considering PP can strike without warning. It was very emotional to read that at one stage you felt she was gone forever. In times of crisis I think there is more spiritual awareness which pulls us through and helps to heal.

Such a relief for you that your wife is making progress and your little family is healing and doing better each day ..... such good news

We are all here for you and your family. Wishing you peace and happiness ... take care.

[Lilybeth Volunteer]

Hello Silencer002

Just thinking of you and hope your wife is continuing to make progress and feel better. I think help from Postpartum Support International locally will be good for you to lean on, as well as your friends.

We are always here too, if needed. Take care.

[Pikorua Volunteer]

Hello Silencer002,

I loved your little re-cap on how things are going with your little family. There is a witty creative sparkle in your writing and positivism, which is so important for your family's well being.

It reminds me a bit of the stories my partner told me when we were all at the beginning of our traumatising experience of PPP and the Psychiatric hospital.

All in stepping stones, time is going to be a healer and my partner and I are so close, because of our common footprints. Happiness comes from within and there is plenty of time to be grateful to those once who have played there part in your wife's recovery.

Keep strong, cheerful and enjoy the little moments!

x

[Silencer002]

As things continue to get better I am writing a lot less now. My wife is doing so much better now and we are basically back to normal. She is still on medication and I’m hoping she will not need it for much longer. Once again I want to thank all of you for the support! Our son is doing great as well and he is growing quite fast! Everyone helped us make it through that rough time and anyone who ever goes through this and reads this, don’t worry it will get better and be strong for your family and spouse. You may not think you will make it through and that your spouse is gone forever or will never be the same, but it all gets better.

[Lilybeth Volunteer]

Hello Silencer002

So happy for you that your wife is doing much better and your son is doing great. You have been an amazing support to your wife and son. Wishing you all the best for the future. Take care.

[Maria_at_APP Moderator]

Hi Silencer002,

Your words are so encouraging for whoever finds themselves in your position in the future. I am so delighted to hear how much your wife has progressed. I echo Lilybeth's message, you have been a great support to your wife, that must have made all the difference on her recovery. You three have made it through, accepting the help from friends and family when there has been the need for it. We are here whenever you feel like talking. Take good care and best wishes for your family.