Insomnia and it’s affects

[Jp32]

This is my first time writing a post. I had PP last year and severe anxiety. I am happy to say my PP is gone, but my anxiety, well I believe it will stay with me, as I’ve struggled with it for awhile now. But the reason for my post is insomnia related, do others find that when their anxiety etc is high they have severe sleep deprivation? I even take lorazepam occasionally to assist and it hasn’t made much difference. Oh man I just find that I obsess over sleep, and it really brings me down. Anyone else can relate? Thanks for listening, And ps. Thank you everyone for being so open about their experiences, it had made me feel not so alone with the whole PP experience. Hugs

[lillyofthevalley37]

Have you tried melatonin ?

[Jp32 in reply to lillyofthevalley37]

Sure have.

[Lilybeth Volunteer]

Hello Jp32

Thanks for reaching out .... it is a big step writing your first post but we are all here to chat and support you. You have done really well to come through PP in just a year but I think the remnants of it, such as anxiety, can take a while to fade. Not being able to sleep is such a strain, especially when you have a baby and routine to manage.

During my psychotic episodes I did suffer with insomnia and would wake in the early hours, draw the curtains, believing it was morning although it was very dark outside. It was very hard for me to sleep and I was very unsettled. It has been many years since my PP experiences so my sleep pattern is much better although I do go to bed quite late so that I'm more likely to sleep soundly.

I did have very bad anxiety during my recovery. I don't think we realise how serious PP is and try to 'get over it' as soon as we can. At first I was very anxious about looking after my sons and whether I could cope at home when my husband was at work. My GP once described me as an "anxious mother" as he said I took my sons to his surgery if the wind blew on them! I do have social anxiety which is challenging as I feel self-conscious in social situations. 'Mind' have a page on sleep problems at mind.org.uk which has quite a few suggestions about how to cope. I think Mindfulness might also be helpful. There are some sites on Google giving steps to a relaxing sleep.

I'm so pleased that you are well on the way to recovery and that the forum has helped in some small way. I wonder if you have seen the PP Guide "Recovery after postpartum psychosis" at app-network.org/what-is-pp/...? Take care .... we are all here to lean on. Sending a big hug back to you

[Jp32 in reply to Lilybeth]

Hi Lilybeth, I really want to thank you for replying to my post. You say so many wise things, and it’s so true that it takes time to fully recover. I think that at times I blame myself and that brings on more anxiety, and then I replay events over and over again, and at times this is during the night. I agree that mindfulness is a great tool, I do yoga and defuse lavender in my bedroom etc. But sometimes I just get so anxious about sleep, I really believe that having people to talk with that have had experiences with PP help me realize I am not alone. The loneliness that comes with it can be tough. Again, thank you so much for your support. I truly think that when others are there to support it really helps us mamas keep going and help us feel not so alone 💗 So I thank you.

Jessica

[Lilybeth Volunteer in reply to Jp32]

Hi Jp32

Thank you for your kind words. I can relate to blaming yourself ..... this is what I did for a long time before I found the forum and realised I had no choice and it wasn't my fault! I had intrusive thoughts, delusions and hallucinations and it was as if I was a completely different person. I think as your PP was so recent the memories of events will be quite raw but in time, when you have come to terms with what happened, you might not feel so anxious.

I agree that talking with mums who have had PP is so good. Before I found APP and the forum I thought I was the only person to have had delusions and walked in the shadows for a long time. I then met Prof Ian Jones of APP and some of his team who confirmed my diagnoses (I had PP twice) and the loneliness I had felt lifted in an instant. You have had so much courage to come this far and we are all here to support each other with the ups and downs to recovery. You are definitely not alone ❤️ Take care.

[Hazello Volunteer]

Hi jp32,

I can totally relate to what you're worrying about as insomnia has been a massive issue for me especially when anxious.

I'm now 3 years down the line from my PP and can i tell you that i do feel that i have managed at times to gain a much more healthy relationship with sleep and I'm sure that can happen for you too... I'm currently struggling with sleep again a bit but there's physical health stuff going on to explain that so not too worried.

I find it's a chicken and an egg thing that the less i sleep the more i worry the more i worry the less i sleep and so on until i feel like a wreck of a human being.

The best advice I've had is from my CBT therapist who told me that often insomnia is a problem that is self perpetuating because of the psychological effects. So you begin to associate your bed with not sleeping and with worrying. The thing that has made the biggest difference for me is stopping trying to sleep and going to do something (which must be unstimulating but still occupying so i have done jigsaw, play piano or colouring, definitely never tv or reading as they waken me) the crucial thing is to stay up doing that for as long as it takes until you feel like you could fall asleep in the chair then go to bed... do that for a couple of nights and your bed starts to be associated with sleep and not insomnia. Don't do anything in bed other than sleep (well and sex though i know when I'm struggling to sleep that drops completely off my list of priorities!).

I found i did a couple of nights of jigsaw after being told this and although exhausted during the day by the third day i just fell asleep and slept through for the first time in ages.

Hope that can help you too though got loads of other ideas for things to try out that doesn't work at all.

I know for me the biggest problem was the fear of insomnia because that was the first symptom before i got PP but I'm starting to lose that association with time... gradually.

Hazello

X

[Hazello Volunteer in reply to Hazello]

Ps I'm not sure whether you're based in the UK or not but certainly in my part of Scotland the NHS is bringing out a new programme of CBT specifically for insomnia which you can access through the GP. I've certainly found CBT to be really helpful for my anxiety (when i remember to practise it and don't bury my head in the sand!) And if you can access that somehow the counsellor should be able to help you address your insomnia head on too as mine did (even though it wasn't the insomnia specific course).

[Pikorua Volunteer]

Hello jp32,

thank you for sharing your experiences. We are all mums, who have suffered with a very traumatising illness and our soul and bodies, our vehicles, have been pushed to the limits.

Of course treatment does vary, especially the after care. The South West is just in its infant stages to develop better provisions for perinatal and some post natal care, at least up to one year.

I was unfortunate and in a mixed gender unit in 2010, when firstly misdiagnosed. The after care was much better when being discharged. Yet, my partner was the one who got me out of hospital and had to look after me full time.

Anyhow, coming back to the issues with your Insomnia. I have been living with it during my recovery. For the very first five years I was sleeping on average maybe 3-4 hours and obviously my anxiety level has been difficult to keep under control.

I was misdiagnosed by my GP with Agora and Social Phobia, but in 2018 I was receiving great help and support via Professor Ian Jones.

My approach and coping strategy is maybe controversial to some NHS practitioners, but I believe there are some drastic changes happening with regards to alternative approaches. Hopefully art & creativity, Yoga and meditation will be eventually on prescription amongst other useful techniques in order to keep your mental health in check.

I paint a lot and journalise and track my mood records...This year I started Reiki, but also have been taken CBD oil, which has helped with my Insomnia and reduced some of the fears and anxiety issues I struggle with. I have to paint less at night and listen to I-Pot meditation (Hay House)

Look after yourself.

[Lilybeth Volunteer]

Hi Jp32

I hope you have found ways to manage your anxiety about sleep. Sometimes there is so much to think about with a baby that it does make us anxious! If it is interrupting your sleep and then affecting your daily activities, perhaps talking therapy might help as suggested? Thinking of you .... take care.