I've been thinking a bit about how I came to find out more about what had happened to me, and my googling habits during illness and post recovery.
I did a lot of googling whilst I was unwell, lots of anxious questions like 'how do I know if baby is getting enough milk from breast' etc. I even looked up post natal depression thinking my partner had it, not understanding that the reason I thought he was so 'down', was because I was high as a kite. My phone got taken away from me as I got progressively unwell. Bad times.
Then when I googled when in recovery, trying to find out what had happened, first I found the ugly stories. It was horrifying and so upsetting. I won't ever forget that day.
Then, I watched an episode of Call the midwife and it spurred me to have another peek online. Expecting the worst, but I found the good! And oh my, it was good. Other people sharing their experiences on Twitter. Talking openly. I devoured all the blogs I could find following on from this (special shout out for the Mutha Courage blog which was heart wrenching to read but put into words everything I couldn't), personal stories I could find on the APP website, videos, people discussing pp on twitter, this forum. So therapeutic. It gave me such hope. The best day was when a lovely lady I 'met' on Twitter invited me to a meet up on the London Southbank and I met not one, but 2 people that had had PP! That was a good day. The best day.
So Googling can be bad and ugly but it can be very good too.