Blessed

[Purple58]

You are so blessed that your sister is safe. My daughter was misdiagnosed and took her own life 2 days after giving birth. Cherish your sister

[NanaJudith_APP_Vol Volunteer]

Dear Puple 58,

I am so very, very sorry that you lost your daughter. I can only imagin how devastating for you and the rest of the family. How long ago, how are you all coping and her darling baby?

My daughter also suffered with Postpartum psychosis, fortunately it was diagnosed, traumatic enough and in short, she was admitted to a Mother and Baby unit and is now recovered. I too am indeed blessed.

I hope that in some small way you have been able to come to terms with your tragic loss and the traumatic way it happened. I trust and hope that the precious little baby blessing, she left behind has been of comfort and given you and family some joy in your life.

Thinking of you.

With love Judith x

[Purple58 in reply to NanaJudith_APP_Vol]

The baby is doing well and thank you. She also had 2 other babies 9 and 4. We are all so devastated and heart broken. All the more so in that they were talking about anxiety as a diagnosis when I had advised them that I suspected post partum psychosis😞

[NanaJudith_APP_Vol Volunteer in reply to Purple58]

Dear Purple58,

I am so very sorry and send sincere sympathy to you. Of course you are devastated and heartbroken, how could you be anything else at this time. It is still so very recent. I can only imagine your grief and pain whilst having to remain strong for the three precious children. I hope that as a family you are able to support one another, that you have supportive friends and also that there are agencies to help.

I am glad that you have found the Action Postpartum Psychosis site, it was a great help to me when my daughter was so unwell two years ago. Sad to say there are other mothers who have posted who have tragically lost a daughter. It is so frustrating that this terrible illness is sometimes so devastatingly misunderstood, for you, the more so, having suggested the possibility of PP. Slowly, slowly recognition is getting better, in no small way due to the hard work of APP.

The heroic Mums who post here are bravely getting on, if it's not too painful, they will write in support, if not I know they will think of you.

You are being so brave and I hope that strength will continue to be given to you.

Thinking of you and sending a hug that I wish I could give in person.

Judith x

[Purple58 in reply to NanaJudith_APP_Vol]

The baby was born 9th 0ctober 2018 and my daughter died on 11th 0ctober 2018

[Purple58 in reply to NanaJudith_APP_Vol]

You really are so blessed. Wishing you and your daughter every happiness. Thank you for vtaking the time to reply. I really appreciate it. Enjoy every minute with your daughter as they are only on loan to us. Amazing how the kindness of complete strangers can lift the spirit x

[NanaJudith_APP_Vol Volunteer in reply to Purple58]

Hello Purple,

Thank you for your reply. We can't as others have said take away your pain but if it does lift your spirits in some small way do write anytime.

I am hugely thankful for my children and grandchildren, they are indeed a gift on loan. I hope that your Grandchildren, though a reminder, can also be a comfort to you.

Take care of yourself.

Judith x

[Lilybeth Volunteer]

Hello Purple58

It is heartbreaking to read your post. I'm so sorry that your daughter was misdiagnosed. I hope you have support around you and your grandchild will be of some comfort.

Take care.

[Lilybeth Volunteer]

Hello Purple58

I am so sorry your daughter must have felt so consumed by her thoughts that she died two days after giving birth. Postpartum Psychosis is an awful illness and when I suffered years ago it struck within four days of giving birth, the first time. We were very happy at the thought of our first child but I changed into a completely different person! I was suicidal, hearing a commanding voice, having delusions and was eventually sectioned to mixed general psychiatric care, where I was treated for six months and began my long recovery.

It's very sad that your instinct about your daughter's illness was not taken into account. Such a shock for you. I'm not sure anything I can say will ease your pain but please know that we are all here to listen if it helps in any way. Thinking of you, take care. x

[Purple58]

Thank you so much x

[Ellie_at_APP Partner]

Hi purple

It is so heartbreaking to read your post... and to hear as well that you suspected it was pp but this wasn’t heard.

Like lilybeth says there is nothing we can say to take the pain away... stories like yours make us even more determined that we do everything we can to prevent tragedies like this happening, to educate more professionals, and raise more awareness.

I am thinking of you and your family,

Ellie xx

[Revans86 Volunteer]

Afternoon Purple 58,

I am so sorry for the loss of your daughter, this is just so awful. I cannot imagine the heartbreak you must all be feeling.

I had PP in 2016, and was fortunate to access medical help early and safely. I’m shocked and so sad that you saw what you thought was PP. It’s a horrendous and serious illness and tragic stories like your daughters make me (and others) only more determined to help and support spreading awareness.

I hope your grandchildren are doing ok, as well as they can be at this awful time. I’m sure you’re squeezing them extra tight as you all support each other. There is nothing anyone can say, but know that there are lots of people thinking of you.

Xxx

[Jenny_at_APP Partner]

Hello Purple58

I just wanted to add my condolences, I am so very very sorry for the tragic loss of your daughter.

Sending you love, Jenny x

[ZacsmumLou]

Dear Purple 58,

I’m so sorry to hear of your loss. Sending love to your family. It really does drive home the importance of swift diagnosis and appropriately trained staff for new parents and their families.

Deepest sympathies to you x

[Hazello Volunteer]

I'm so sorry to read about your daughter's death, such a devastating situation for you all.

I also feel really strongly that people need to be alert to the possibility of PP in new Mums as the consequences can be so dire if we get it wrong. I remember someone telling me (maybe someone from APP?) That some midwives have said they don't want to scare people by telling them about the risk and symptoms of PP in preparing pregnant families but actually if it has the potential to prevent deaths it has to be worthwhile.

Thinking of you all,

Hazello

[Pikorua Volunteer]

I am so terribly sorry for your loss. My heart goes out to you...

I often meditate for my own well-being and then try to send love out to those mums, who are suffering and of course all those parents, who lost their daughter under such traumatising circumstances.

All my love!

xxx

[Purple58 in reply to Pikorua]

Thank you so much. I will really appreciate your kind words. I will xx

[LavenderGrey]

Dear Purple,

A little note to say I’m thinking of you and your family.

I’m so sorry you were not listened to and that the system let your family down so completely in misdiagnosis. I feel much anger that there is not improved training for medical staff in early identification of ppp.

I am so sorry for your loss and sending you warm wishes.

Best,

[Purple58]

Lavender how kind to think of us. Your note is timely and so appreciated. Xx

[Pikorua Volunteer]

Our thoughts are with you at such a difficult time! Sending you love and strengths...

dearest Purple 58,

x

[NanaJudith_APP_Vol Volunteer]

Dear Purple58,

I hope that you do not mind my writing I was just wondered how you and family are.

Not yet six months since your tragic, sad loss. I know that I won't be the only one who thinks of you often, I imagine it could be the more so difficult for you this week and will especially think of you all on Mothering Sunday.

I hope that your precious grandchildren are well and as happy as they can be whilst also very much missing their lovely Mummy.

You obviously have to draw on great strength, no doubt all your family and friends are a comfort and support to you. However, if ever it would be a help, please remember that the APP community are always here to listen.

In your sadness and grief, I hope that your moments of joy can in time become more frequent and long lasting.

Sending a hug from one Granny to Another.

With love judith x

[NanaJudith_APP_Vol Volunteer]

Dear Purple58,

I hope that you do not find this little note to you an intrusion. I just wanted to say that I think of you and family sometimes and am especially thinking of you at the moment. I hope that your beautiful grandchildren thrive, despite missing their mummy, that you hold each other up and that they give you joy in your sad times.

I know that others think of you too. All strength to you.

Warm wishes, love and hugs

From another Grandmother

Judith x

[Purple58]

Judith I really appreciate your post and thank you for your kind words. Grandchildren are doing OK. Baby now 22 months and boys are 6 and 10 years old. Life is very difficult but they do keep us going. Just feels like life is in black and white and trying to accept that this is how it is from here on in. Hoping this finds you well and coping.

Thankyou for your message which was very timely xx

[Lilybeth Volunteer]

Hello Purple58

I hope you don’t mind that I read your reply to Judith, thanking her for her kind words.

I just wanted to say how much I admire your strength. It must be heartbreaking and as you say, very difficult without your daughter. I’m sure you see her spirit living on in your grandchildren and hope you find peace.

Take care xx

[Purple58]

Thank you Lilybeth. The kindness of complete strangers blows me away. I have to keep going for her children and husband who is not coping well. Your kindness in taking the time out of your day is really appreciated. Thank you xx

[Lilybeth Volunteer]

Hello Purple58

It must be very hard some days trying to hold everyone up when you feel like falling apart yourself. I’m sorry your daughter’s husband is not coping well. I hope you have support around for yourself.

We are here to lean on if ever it helps to talk. You are in my thoughts and prayers. Take care xx

[NanaJudith_APP_Vol Volunteer]

Dear Purple58,

Good to hear from you and to know that your grandchildren are doing ok.

It must be so very difficult for you and I, like Lilybeth, admire your strength. I do think of you sometimes, hoping that you are well and somehow coping. I am sorry that your son in law is not doing very well at the moment, it must still be very painful for you all to be without your daughter. A little one 22months and 6 and 10year olds. I have grandsons the same ages, fun but exhausting. You must be exhausted and the more so in what has been such an extraordinary year with it's own extra difficulties. I do hope that you have other understanding family and friends in support. In your sorrow I also hope that you can find joy in the children and continue to find the strength.

Hoping that your daughter's husband along with the whole family can

find peace and happiness again after such a devastating family tragedy.

Thank you for your good wishes, I and family are thankfully well.

As APP volunteer grandmother, I would be happy to chat privately anytime, or there are brave volunteer PP mums. Otherwise the forum community is of course always here with all their wealth of insight, empathy and understanding.

Warm wishes, love and hugs

judith xx

[Purple58]

Thank you Judith. In the horror of my world your kindness is much appreciated. We have the preliminary inquest coming up and the Trust have more or less admitted negligence for what happened. Likely a news story as in public interest what happened and how she was let down. Women's lives are cheap in our maternal mental health world. Hopefully we will prevent the same from happening to another family though too late for us. Xx

[NanaJudith_APP_Vol Volunteer]

Dear Purple58,

I am so sorry that in your grief you have had this inquest hanging over you.

I hope that when it is over you and your son in law can find some peace, renewed courage and strength to continue caring for the beautiful gift of your grandchildren your lovely daughter has left to you.

I think that health services are becoming more enlightened, in no small part due to APP. It is kind in your sadness to think that your experience can help other families.

Thinking of you.

Love &hugs

judith xx

[Lilybeth Volunteer]

Hello Purple58

Thinking of you and hope you are managing under such stress. I hope your treasured grandchildren are your shining light on difficult days.

You are in my prayers ... take care xx

[Purple58]

Thank you Lily Beth. X

[Lilybeth Volunteer]

Wishing you strength and peace in the days ahead Purple58. X

[NanaJudith_APP_Vol Volunteer]

Dear Purple58,

not sure when the inquest was taking place but thinking of you and hoping

that it goes as well as can be expected. As Lilybeth and us all, wishing you

strength and peace.

Judith xx

[Pikorua Volunteer]

Dear Purple58,

my heart is going out to you, too. Some very heartfelt messages and conversations between you, NanaJudith and Lilybeth.

Wishing you strengths and energy!

Sending you love and kindness!

x

[Lilybeth Volunteer]

Hello Purple58

I’ve been thinking about you ....

I hope you are coping with not only the thought of what must be a harrowing preliminary inquest but also keeping a lid on your feelings for the benefit of your treasured grandsons returning to school and all that entails.

I hope you have support for yourself as you care for your baby grandson and try to console your son-in-law too. There are no words to comfort you at this time but I’m saying a prayer for you and your family. x

[Pikorua Volunteer]

Sending out love and kindness. Wishing you well dearest Purple 58.

x

[NanaJudith_APP_Vol Volunteer]

Dear Purple58,

without wishing to intrude, just to say thinking of you, especially just now in this month.

Love, peace and all best wishes to you and family.

Judith xxxxxx

[Lilybeth Volunteer]

Hello Purple58

Thinking of you today ... I hope you have someone to lean on as you are keeping a lid on your feelings for the sake of supporting your family.

Wishing you strength and peace. xx