Hi, I'm new here.
I've been looking for help and advice recently. I had an episode of pyschosis about 10 years ago when I was a teenager and was in hospital for a few months. It took ages to recover and was the worst experience of my life, very scary and I felt like I'd lost myself completely, in self-confidence and self-identity. I've had clinical depression also, a couple of times in my life. At the moment though, I'm approaching my 30s, life is pretty good, I enjoy my work, spending time with friends, I'm healthy and happy and in a great same-sex marriage to a lovely woman. Lots has happened since my psychosis and I've had some great adventures as well as doing a lot of normal things too!
My wife and I have been thinking about having children. My wife doesn't want to be pregnant. We looked into adoption and decided it wasn't right for us. So I'm left wondering about carrying our child myself. I could imagine being a parent could be really stressful and tiring and that worries me, not to mention the pregnancy part being unpredictable. As my psychosis was triggered by a lack of sleep and high stress levels, it worries me.
I went to the GP earlier this year and asked for a referral to mental health services for advice. I didn't hear anything. So in the meanwhile I booked an appointment with a psychologist privately. She had never heard of post partum psychosis and said to me, you shouldn't ever make decisions based on fear. I didn't see her again, as we weren't a good fit. I went back to the GP to ask them to chase up the referral and I still haven't heard anything from the local mental health services!
I'm not sure where else to get some help, so I thought I'd join this forum and see if anyone has any thoughts on the following:
Am I being irresponsible, thinking of trying to get pregnant when I've had psychosis and depression before?
Is there a way to just go straight to a perinatal psychiatrist without having to wait forever for the mental health team to give me an appointment? I'd really like to talk to someone who is an expert in psychosis and pregnancy to get a bigger picture of it all before I think about going to a fertility clinic/sperm bank etc.
Looking forward to hopefully hearing some advice or anecdotes!