Greetings from Dubai

[Riry]

Hello great mamas I made it I flied home safely ,so weird to me as I have been away more than 3 months but mixed with a good feeling to be home .thank you all for your support .

Will keep you posted .

Love and kisses

Riham

[Lilybeth Volunteer]

Hello Riry

No place like home is there? Well done overcoming your anxiety about returning. Glad you arrived safely and look forward to hearing how you are when you are settled later this week perhaps.

We are all here for you.

[Ellie_at_APP Partner]

Hi Riham

How are you doing? I hope you are settling in back home, and that the meeting with the psychiatrist will be helpful. Have you met with the mum/s from the group there? I help that will be a great source of support for you.

Write whenever you need to X

[Riry]

Hello lilybeth and Ellie hope you are all well ,I am in contact with Rachel one of the volunteers in Dubai ,she is really doing great with me she contacted the psycaitrist to fit me in earlier .yesterday I couldn't sleep at all and I feel I am getting so angry lately thought it doesn't show but I feel it all inside. Little things gets on my nerves ,my husband told me yesterday he won't join me at the psycaitrist and he said I am sticking myself in vicious circle .I tried to make him understand that it's so hard to feel what I am going through as its unseen ,it's not a broken leg or any organ disfunction but it's far harder then this ,he said he can't forbid me to go to a psycaitrist but he won't join me or encourage me for this step. That's it for now

Will keep you posted

Love and hugs

Riham

[Lilybeth Volunteer]

Hello Riry

Good to hear from you. I'm so glad one of the mamas in Dubai is helping with the support you need.

With PP all our senses are heightened ..... we can react to the slightest noise which sounds so loud in our head, or a comment made will trigger anger. Try not to worry it is all part of your illness and I'm sure the psychiatrist will be able to explain everything when you see him / her.

Mental illness is very hard to explain to someone who has not experienced it. I'm sorry your husband will not be going to the appointment with you. As soon as you receive the correct diagnosis and begin treatment, you will start to feel there is hope. It will take a while for any new medication to kick in, so it's not an instant change but over time you will recover. I'm sure the support group in Dubai will be able to reassure you.

Take good care and stay safe.

[Ellie_at_APP Partner]

Hi Riry

Glad to hear of your update. It's great to hear of the support you're getting from the mum's group, I'm sorry though that your husband seems reluctant for you to see a psychiatrist. I hope you do feel you're getting some support from him? Perhaps the volunteer from the mum's group could go with you to the appointment instead? I do hope you get an appointment soon.

Take care X

[Hannah_at_APP Administrator]

Hello Riry,

Good to hear from you, I don't think I've posted before to you but have read your updates am happy to hear that things are going well back home. I too can relate to having a husband who doesn't always want to go to appointments... sometimes I think it is just their way of dealing with things. As Ellie mentioned I wonder if the volunteer could go with you? Sometimes it's nicer to have support with you, no matter how much you (or perhaps more your husband) feel you want to do it on your own. In my experience, men and women have very different outlooks and usually this can complement each other but at times it doesn't quite fit together as well as we may like

I think the psychiatrist will also be able to reassure you about your heightened senses, I also remember feeling things very intensely and this can be difficult.

Take care, I hope things continue to go well for you, xx

[Riry]

Hello lilybeth ,Ellie , Spannerb thanks for writing back to me and I hope you are all well, I was so distressed from my husband reaction but this won't stop to seek help , yesterday I was so honest with the full time nanny and she has been working with us since I was pregnant. I told her about my condition and she was very understanding and she told me she will take care of baby and whenever I feel not well I just let her know to be able to .this was a relief cause hiding this makes me feel more guilt and a shame of illness that hit me out of the Blues.

Spannerb you are right men are different when they deal in matters like this .I still hope he keeps supporting me .I am glad my baby feel he is home again

Will keep you posted

Love

Riham

[Lilybeth Volunteer]

Hello Riry

Good to hear your update. I'm really pleased the nanny is also supporting you, I did hope you would become friends. That must be such a relief knowing that she will care for your baby when you are not feeling well. I hope by talking about your illness with the mamas and here on the forum your guilt and shame will disappear as you will realise that none of this is your fault ...... it's just the illness in control until you receive proper care.

Has your appointment been brought forward for you? I hope you won't have to wait much longer. I think your husband will still support you in everything you do, he's probably just worried about you and coping in his own way.

Take care and stay safe ........

[Ellie_at_APP Partner]

Hi Riham, it's really good to read your update, and to hear that you've confided in your nanny. So important to have that full support, and that she knows what you're going through. Do let us know how your psychiatrist appointment goes, and I hope that in the safer environment with this support you'll be able to enjoy your baby, and life generally, more too.

I would agree men are different, I find my partner doesn't like to ask for support either, and doesn't talk to others like I do...

Ellie

[Riry]

Hello lovely mama's hope you are well ,I couldn't get an earlier appointment but my one is coming soon ,yesterday I was so distressed but I was feeling good for my son as I see him enjoying being home .everytime I see a mother and her child I feel so bad and this is so hurting cause this is not me .I used to feel happy for everyone but now not which made me feel I changed to a bad person ,my son wanted to keep playing very late last night and I had to put him in his cot and he kept crying , I shouted at him to stop and I went to the other room and kept crying as I felt so guilty . I hate now when my son cries for no real reason cause I get scared I get intrusive thoughts. I felt yesterday I don't deserve to be a mom but then my husband came to me and asked to go bed .my baby was sleeping at that time my husband asked me to hold him in bed and I did took him in my arms and felt asleep.

I just hate this illness and need to get back my life .I hope I will be relieved soon and have a happily life with my lovely son .

[Lilybeth Volunteer]

Hello Riry

Sorry you were distressed yesterday but hopefully your appointment is not too far away now. I'm really happy for you that husband is such a comfort. You are a good mum ....... fighting all your thoughts and feelings to be well for your family.

Take good care and stay safe. Lean on all the support of the mums in Dubai who can empathise with how you are feeling and we are all here on the forum too.

[Lilybeth Volunteer]

Hello Riry

Just wondering how you are and whether you have had a date to see the psychiatrist? I hope you are having good support and feeling hopeful.

Stay safe and take good care.

[Riry]

Hi lilybeth,hope all is well sorry for not writing earlier ,I have seen the psycaitrist and he listened to me and after an hour of telling all what I have been through. He told me this is so complicated but my diagnosis is severe post partum depression .he didn't change my med and he didn't up my dose and he said he needs to see me on weekly basis and then he will change my meds but the good news that my husband came with me and he explained to him everything .he told I got the depression right after my delivery and was untreated till now .I know I would sound weird but I don't trust any psyc now .I seeked profesional help once i felt not OK and no one was really helping .many different diagnosis with different medications and I am just trying hard to win this battle.

I feel ok as I am trying to fit again into my life ,my son got sick and I took care of him on my own which made me gain some confidence.

Hugs and kisses

[Lilybeth Volunteer]

Hello Riry

Don't worry about replying ..... it's only ever if you have time. Thanks for the update. I'm really glad your husband went with you to the psychiatrist. It's good that he's going to see you weekly and you have a diagnosis. It sounds like he'll be assessing you each week which I think will be good for you. It's hard to trust after all the disappointment you have had in the past but perhaps as you will see him weekly, your trust in him will build? During my illness I was very suspicious of people but they were only trying to help me.

You're a great mum taking care of your son when he was sick. I hope the mamas in Dubai are also supporting you. Take a day at a time for now .... you will find your place again.

Stay safe and take good care. xx

[Riry in reply to Lilybeth]

Thank you lilybeth for your support ,I was so glad that my husband came as the Dr explained to him that it has nothing to do with me and it's all cause of hormonal changes that's affects the brain in some women and he explained to him that if I developed psychosis I would need to be hospitalized cause of risks.I have no other choice than to follow dubai psyc .I am being very cautious and taking it easy on myself this time .when I read about all the brave mama's like you and others here give me more strength to get over this .

I will do my best to get my life back .

Have a great weekend..

Love

Riham

[Ellie_at_APP Partner]

Hi Riry

It was good to hear your update. Your psychiatrist sounds good from what you've written, and that's so good your husband went with you. I think some severe post natal depression can have some similarities with PP... It's great he wants to see you weekly before changing meds etc.

And well done you for looking after your son when he was ill on your own, that's a great achievement. I do hope you can build up your life again slowly. We are here if you ever want to write

Ellie X

[Riry]

Thank you Ellie writing here have been always such a relief, be sure that being here is a part of my recovery journey ,thanks for always being there for me .I appreciate your support.

Love ,

Riham

[Lilybeth Volunteer]

Hello Riham

That's a very interesting explanation your psychiatrist gave you. I'm glad he reassured your husband that it is nothing to do with you .... it's an illness you are doing your best to fight. I think it's encouraging that he's seeing you every week and you will eventually find your place again.

Welcome to the band of brave mamas ...... you should be very proud of how strong you have been. Take it easy and take your time.

We are all here to lean on.

[Lilybeth Volunteer]

Hello Riry

I hope you have had a better week and that you feel encouraged by your weekly appointment with the Psychiatrist.

Keep taking it easy ...... small steps for now. I'm sure the Dubai mamas are supporting you well and we are always here.

[Riry]

Hello Lilybeth,

Hope you are doing well ,thanks for writing to me .I am doing better this week and I started to feel a bit of myself again.till now there are no any changes in med but I am being very kind to myself this time .I am spending 2 weeks in Egypt and hopefully everything will go well .I am treating my brain as very fragile organ now and I am hoping things won't take a step backward .

Wish you a great weekend .

Love

Riham

[Lilybeth Volunteer]

Hello Riry

Good to hear that you're being kind to yourself and I hope you are enjoying your break in Egypt. Hopefully you will continue to improve day by day.

Wishing you a great weekend too. xx

[Lilybeth Volunteer]

Hello Riry

I hope you are home in Dubai and having the support from the mamas group. Make sure to take it easy and rest as much as you can. The PP mamas are here for you too!

Thinking of you ....... wishing you a good week xx

[Riry]

Hello lilybet, hope all is well I am still in EGypt traveling to Dubai in a week ,I have been doing better the last month I was able to take care of my kid slowly started enjoying again music , shopping ,swimming and watching the sea I hope this is a recovery and I won't get back though there was no change in meds or the dose am not trying to find any reason far feeling better but time heals .I started to have a normal dreams again after 6months of horrible and irrational nightmares .I will book an appointment with the psycaitrist in Dubai to follow up with him. Life looks brighter and I hope it will stay like this. Thanks for being there Lilybeth and supporting me in the darkest times .forgive me for the late reply .will keep you posted .

Love

Riham

[Lilybeth Volunteer]

Hello Riham

Good to hear from you though never worry about replying .... it's only ever if and when you feel like it.

It sounds as though being in Dubai has been the best medicine for you. I'm really pleased life looks brighter after you have been through so much. I'm sure the psychiatrist will be pleased with your update.

I hope the mamas in Dubai will be there for you .... as we all are here too.

Take your time and take good care.

[Riry]

Hello lilybeth ,hope you are doing well I just wanted to update you my latest news ,I am settled now back home in Dubai and I feel better as I am getting used to my life again my sister is here for support.me and my son are developing a really good relation now .i have seen the doctor today and I put my trust in him and we are on a plan hope things will go well. Thanks for your support you have been always there .will keep you updated

Love

Riham

[Lilybeth Volunteer]

Hello Riry

Lovely to hear that you are back home and feel better with the support of your sister. I'm glad your doctor seems to be helping you with a plan for your ongoing care ..... your bond with your son will grow stronger day by day.

Stay positive . I hope the mamas in Dubai are still there for you, as we all are here in the UK.

As always, take good care of yourself x

[Lilybeth Volunteer]

Hello Riry

A few months on now ..... I really hope your are feeling much better and still have the support of the mamas in Dubai.

Thinking of you ....... take care.