I'm really worried because dad sent me less money than usual and i'm worried he thinks the baby is more important than me or i don't deserve

[Against_the_current]

All my progress went down

[Hidden]

no offense....called family budgeting and yes the baby comes first and yes....older siblings go out and get jobs and yes..money is finiite....i deal with people all the time who read into my terrible decisons....oh u must not like me or if u really cared.....talking to them........i have ten dollars ish.........for a month and people obvoulsy have no concept of money.....but why cant u buy me this pnone if u cared............no.....why cant u get a job and support urselflike everhone else.....

money is tight and finite...most people have no concept how we agonize in making decisions.........and say we dont care and read intothings....sign of gross immaturity...

the baby comes first rightly so.....end there....

[Against_the_current in reply to Hidden]

What the hell 😭

[Against_the_current in reply to Hidden]

Don't say this, you're fueling my anxiety

[Against_the_current in reply to Hidden]

You're making me feel like what im thinking is True. I have never hold grudges over "buy me this and that". All my damn life i have been restrickted by my father. Long before the baby. I have been restrickted. As If i'm not a human with a soul. As If i should always be little myself. You know "You break it, you buy it". Also in Bulgaria the law says the divorsed parent pays vhild support till 25 If the child is studying. I'm doing everything he wants. I'm even writing his stuff. He wouldn't have gotten this job without me. And my writings are worth a lot. Rn i have a customer who pays me for writing. So ik the efforts of work. Also i'm too broken. Do you think i'm some spoiled princess who waits to her father?! I save every cent while others go wild. And i have been doing it my entire damn life. As If i'm a second quality human. A second quality human. And i always understood. I am ashamed asking for money. I'm ashamed accepting them. I'm ashamed for being too disabled to work. Do you understand this pain? I feel less of a human. I have no diginity. I can't even tell my parents what i think because i rely on them...because they broke me too much to work. I see others work and i feel like trash, worthless. I see others spend their own money. I also see people older than me Who rely on their parents. My ex friend is almost 30 and relies on her dad. Without being an A student like me. And with paying for having her homeworks done. I'm done being a worthless waste of air compared to the precious baby. I know im useless and not important. Sorry If it's harsh but this triggered me real bad. And If i'm going to be banned, then okay break me more. I'm a monster

[Blueruth in reply to Against_the_current]

A. The reasons you gave in your post are self serving and comparative. You could have said some of the points in this response and you might get more sympathy.

B. You are doubling down on comparing yourself to someone. You are not your friend. Her father is not her father. He probably doesn’t have the same responsibility to care for a baby for one.

C. He is taking care of you. Probably the best he can.

D. You are capable. You are in school getting an education. A lot of people can’t afford that. Your self esteem is your block. I give you points for determination but isn’t the kind of determination you want. If only you turned that energy into something more productive.

[Against_the_current in reply to Blueruth]

I really need better self-esteem but so much things are bringing it down, number 1 reason is sisters, 2 parents belitling me

[Hidden]

Hi,

You're assuming a lot. No criticism there because I do it too. This is where I find CBT helpful. What are some alternative ways you can think about this?

Also, why are you blaming your progress on others? A person's progress shouldn't be directly tied to others.

[Against_the_current in reply to Hidden]

Yeah, i'm trying to do some thought challenging on the thought. Just it's a pity others can ruin my progress

[Hidden in reply to Against_the_current]

Glad to hear you're working on it! Nobody can ruin your progress except you.

[Hidden]

Hey, there could be a lot of reasons why he sent less money. That doesn’t necessarily mean he doesn’t think you are important. Maybe his job isn’t paying as much as it used to. Maybe because of inflation prices have gone up on a lot of things and he has to budget his money carefully. There could be a lot of reasons you just don’t know about. Just be grateful he gave you something. Try to watch your spending carefully. I don’t have that much money myself. You learn to try to figure out what is really most important to spend the money on and what are things you really don’t need to buy.

[Against_the_current in reply to Hidden]

Yeah, maybe there's other reason, i shouldn't think the worst

[Hidden in reply to Against_the_current]

No, please don’t. These are rough times fora lot of people right now. Covid is affecting everybody and this pandemic still is not over with.

[Against_the_current]

Thanks. Hope u get well soon

[CindyKatherine]

Hello dear, please calm down. I am sure you do not relegate the baby to less of a human, and you probably, do not want to do a comparison match between you and the child. You are just angry that he sent you money that is less than what he normally sends without an explanation.

I do not know the reason behind this. I also saw that some possible reasons have been highlighted above. Nevertheless, I would only suggest you take things easy as we do not know the reason for sure. And, that you keep the young, fragile, helpless child out of the picture. I know you will agree the baby needs all the support to grow and mature and you would sacrifice, if given the privilege, to make it a reality.

Also, friend, do not feel bad that you expressed yourself with fiery words and tone. At times, at one point or the other we have all done that. It happens especially when we are stressed and overburdened. But, if you would just do your little best, you will see that in the nearest future, this would have passed successfully.

You know too that your dad cares at least enough to send you something. Please bear with him, and excuse him for whatever reason for the less money that he has been faithful and committed to your studies and well-being even in all his failings and weaknesses (which we humans all possesss uniquely at varying degrees).

I will conclude by saying try to manage what you have been given, and always remember you are not a monster but a special human being just going through some challenges that surely will pass for good if you neither retreat nor surrender in the war for happiness. Peace!

We all do ❤ you.

[Against_the_current in reply to CindyKatherine]

Will try

[CindyKatherine in reply to Against_the_current]

Thanks.